Happy Valentines day! Are you going to have a Delight or a Disaster on your hands?

Last updated on February 12th, 2015 at 12:02 am

Find practical suggestions relationship advice to help you out today, that will prove useful not only for Valentines day but all year round in your romance.

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February 14 hello here you are St Valentines day. Are you going to have a Delight or a Disaster?

Let me help you figure it out and make it a day to remember.

This is one day of the year many girls like myself have their beau organising a beautiful outing, getting together with the girls or simply letting it pass as any other Thursday night.

For many guys it can be a day of absolute dread due to past mistakes. Too little or too much.

One year I received a phone call as I leaving for my Valentine date. This was another excited gentleman asking me if I had left the anonymous card with the message He was desired for a starring role in my sexy dreams. and could he come over.  As gently as I could I let him know that was not from me.

So don’t let disappointment happen to you.

The key thing is to get to know your partner or prospective love. I see a lot of people who would not know their mate’s favourite movie let alone their hopes and dreams. Can you imagine the level of communication there?

Over my many years of experience as a marriage counsellor I have seen a sort of love pattern emerge everyone has what Dr Gary Chapman calls a love language. This is the main way they express and interpret love.

Lucky for us Dr Chapman has identified the five types Love Languages and they are easy to spot.

Words of affirmation these folks positively glow with “I love you” and are devastated with unkind words.

So speak the language of love to your mate with words of affection and endearments, perhaps a pet name. Voice your feelings of love and watch your lover purr!

Quality time is the gift of adoration in the form of undivided attention. This is for the partner who says they just want you to be there. Turn the TV off and give them your focus.

Make a dedicated time to be present and have some one on one time. Organise a date out at their favourite restaurant. Greet them after they have settled in from work with a “how was your day, honey?“ and really listen by asking questions. Warning: no problem solving. Validate them and their emotions and watch the love grow.

Receiving Gifts, this isn’t about materialism, rather it is the love, thoughtfulness and effort behind the gift.

It is about the perfect gift that shows you are known in intimate ways and noticed.  It doesn’t have to be from Tiffany’s but it does have to be well planned.

Know your lover’s favourite flower, scent and really get to know their likes and dislikes.

Acts of service. A lot of women I speak to thrive on their partner helping out around the house. These chores that help ease the burden of responsibility speak volumes, let me do that for you will have then eating out of your hand. But woe betide any laziness, broken promises or making more work a recipe for resentment.

Doing the dishes is sexy. Help your mate out and lend a hand by giving the gift of service.

Physical touch.Tthese are the typical touchy feely types who love hugs, a pat on the back, holding hands and little strokes. You need to be physically there for them. This partner will often rejoice in a shoulder rub with a purr of contentment.

So reach over and hold their hand, kiss them on the cheek and offer a hug to get in touch with your lover.

Get to know which of these languages fits for yourself and your partner. You can always ask be curious.

Find out and make it happen for your love to continue to grow not just for Valentines Day but also throughout the years to come in your relationship.

Happy St Valentines Day from Philipa

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