Engaged? Taylor & Travis just did it—here’s how to make your “yes” last

Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce just announced their engagement 💍—cue the glitter, champagne, and endless playlists. If you’re newly engaged, too, congratulations! It’s a magical time, but let’s be honest: planning a wedding can bring as much stress as sparkle.

That’s where Imago Relationship Therapy gives you tools to laugh more, fight less, and grow a marriage that lasts.

At Marriage Works, we believe love lives in the everyday moments—what we call Love in the Real World. Here’s a playful guide to get started.


Talk so love doesn’t get lost in the planning

Wedding chat can turn tense fast (hello, guest lists 🙃). Imago dialogue slows things down so both of you feel heard:

  1. Mirror: “I hear you saying…”
  2. Validate: “That makes sense or I can understand …”
  3. Empathise: “I imagine you might be feeling…”

Try this tonight: Pick one tiny topic (cake flavour, song choice) and practise the three steps. If you end up laughing—bonus points.


Zero negativity (ZNP) = maximum fun

Stress brings snark. Imago’s Zero Negativity Pact helps keep it kind.
Swap: “You never help!”
For: “Would you be willing to call the florist by Friday?”

Couple cue: If negativity sneaks in, one of you says, “Reset?” and you both start fresh.


Small rituals, big connection

Engagement isn’t just planning—it’s practice for the life ahead. Build mini-rituals now:

  • Daily appreciation: one thing you love about your partner (tiny and specific). E.g. I love you, bring me coffee in the morning, you are so thoughtful.
  • Weekly check-in: 30 minutes on connection, logistics, and dreams. E.g. What wins did we have this week? How can we celebrate?
  • Stretching: do one thing that matters to your partner—even if it’s not your style. (Yes, slow dancing in the kitchen counts 💃🕺.)

Why start before the wedding?

Because wedding stress is like a training ground. If you can practise dialogue, zero negativity, and tiny rituals now, you’ll be better prepared for the everyday joys (and bumps) of married life.


💌 Want more?

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INFIDELITY DILEMMAS

A television producer called me today to seek my expertise in affairs. Helping couples through their pain, overwhelm and betrayal.

There are may questions we have and these need to be addressed. I have a little video on Youtube

Love to hear what your ideas are. Perhaps you have been through the trenches with your spouse and come out the other side. You can be a beacon of hope. Please feel free to add your thoughts below in the comment box. Thanks Philipa

After the Affair Article in MINDFOOD July/ August Issue 2018

Hello there lovely readers of Marriage Works.

Chris and I went to the news agents on Saturday as he wanted to buy a magazine for the soccer World cup. While in there he handed me the latest Mindfood magazine pointing out a psychology article “After the Affair – is it possible to restore trust.” I said oh good and opened it to page 50 in Health:Relationships.

My surprise reading Philipa Thornton as published in MINDFOOD McHugh Media's Magazine
Surprise!

Imagine my surprise when I read “Philipa Thornton’s strategies for making it work after an affair”! I had totally forgotten journalist Emily Joyce’s interview back in April.

I was pretty chuffed and had a good chuckle. It is a great article ( even if I do say so!) on affair recovery which is totally possible, I encourage you to check it out. Plus you get to see the gorgeous Rachel Weisz’s beautiful image and hear her story of a new chapter. See her interview with Graham Norton here on being married to Daniel Craig

The story is called Circle of Trust and is out now.

mindfood psychology after the affair contributions by philipa thornton psychologist

Current Issue of Mindfood Magazine here

Find a Flatmate or Your Soulmate in the Suburbs…

I recently was called by the lovely Elizabeth Tilley of the Courier Mail a division of News. com.au . Where I was the featured relationship expert in her great article:

Looking for a flatmate or a soulmate? You might just find both in one of these suburbs.

Relationship psychologist Philipa Thornton said a romance born from a flatmate friendship could lead to a successful life partnership.

“It is a fabulous basis because domestically you’re going to have an idea of what they are like pretty quickly,” she said.

“Proximity makes the heart grow fonder and that can be a really lovely foundation for a relationship to form from a friendship base.”

Relationship psychologist Philipa Thornton.

Relationship psychologist Philipa Thornton.Source:News Limited

Ms Thornton said with a more traditional dating relationship someone’s true colours could remain hidden for quite some time, but a flatmate romance fast-tracked what was normally a slower process.

“The honeymoon phase could be over quicker when you’re living with someone 24/7,” she said.

It can be a great foundation for lasting love.

Originally published as When flatmates become soulmates

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