Shine Brightly for August!

Hello all, I have just popped up the Youtube monthly challenge where I have hoping to inspire your brilliance.

Shine your bright light of love as a beacon to others and to yourself. Like attracts like. Notice what happens as a result.

let your star shoot forth !purple-690724_1920
let your star shoot forth

So the monthly challenge is to put yourself in the spotlight and illuminate the world.

I want to share with you the cutest story. Oliver Jeffers Heart in the Bottle makes me cry. So beautiful. Here it is:

Getting the Love You Want – Couples Workshop

I have just spent the last 3 days with my husband Chris attending a Character growth Imago workshop. This was with Advanced Imago Therapist Brenda Rawlings of The Imago Institute of New Zealand See here https://www.relationships.co.nz/about-us/

Now we are in luck Sydney folk!

The Couples Retreat – a 2 day weekend is here! Brenda and husband Peter are offering the Getting the Love You Want Couples workshop. Up the road in lovely Crows Nest.

Here is the link to https://www.relationships.co.nz/couples-workshop-dates-fees/ to secure your spot.

We can definitely recommend this workshop. Indeed it saved us from the brink. Please do yourself a favour and get the love you want. Your partnership is worth putting in a 2 days effort !

Happy Bastille Day to our French Friends!

Bonjour et bien venue. Today Chris and I went to the Sydney suburb of La Perouse. La Perouse was a famous French explorer who landed in this area of Australia. there were celebrations and the tricolour flew in the icy winds.

The refrain Egalite, Liberte et Fraternite may be useful in our relationships.

What would our partnership be with equity, freedom and loving. Pretty yummy. Lucky I bought Chris an almond croissant. I know he loves them. I hope you had a happy day. xx

Thoughts on Why Millenials are Cheating Less…

Have you ever wondered about Generation Y? What is happening to those of us born into into the 1990’s ? How are their relationships faring in the today’s turmoil?

That’s exactly what my journalist friend Natalie Reilly was pondering. She has discovered they are rejecting the sexual revolution’s children’s values ( their parents!) in favour of old fashioned morals. Especially when it comes to infidelity and divorce.

That's exactly what my journalist friend Natalie Reilly was pondering. She has discovered they are rejecting the sexual revolution's children's values in favour of old fashioned morals. Especially when it comes to infidelity and divorce.
80’s and 90’s kids are making careful selections and sticking with their mates.

Millenials don’t appear to be following in the footsteps of their forebears. They are staying together and working on themselves and their partnerships. They are rejecting divorce.

Here is the article from the Sydney Morning Herald with my views on why this is occurring in marriage land. https://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/life-and-relationships/rejecting-our-forebears-values-why-millennials-are-cheating-less-20190509-p51lmj.html

Many of my clients have witnessed the destruction of marriage first hand. They want to avoid the despair of separation at all costs.

This doesn’t mean they will put up and shut up about unhelpful behaviours though. They are active participants in their partnerships.

In my experience they come my therapy office with the attitude of “this isn’t working , what can we do to improve…” They are in the best possible head space. Recognition increases the likelihood of great results. A can do attitude makes them Olympian relay teammates. And let’s face it you want to have your mate who’s prepared to run the lifetime marathon race with you. Ideal in long term partnerships and lengthy marriages.

Could Millenials be responsible for a change and downturn in the divorce statistics? Time will tell and I’ll be writing more soon!

Love to hear from Millenials and all gen’s – please write a comment below. Please share via text email and social media for those this might help – especially if they are going through a trial in their connection. It’s Work that Makes Marriages and Relationship Work! All we need is to bring a smile and our joy to that toil 🙂

Thanks for reading! Yours in Love and Relationship Success xox Philipa

How to deal with the “I Love You’s” whilst applying the Last Resort Technique

I have had this very question a lot. So I have recorded a video here for all you LRTer’s. This is especially for those of you who are experiencing the distress of separation and want to make a good go at repair.

Phillipa’s advice on the LRT.

Please like, comment and share if you think this could benefit a friend in need.

Me in person saying gidday!

Hi there, I am working on getting myself out to you! Here is the latest video from my YOUtube Channel

Coming to you from my office in Randwick Sydney.

Apologies for not being able to look you in the eye, still figuring out this whole videoing self thing! Appreciate your kindness there. xx

Happy New Year from Marriage Works! Bonus gift wish list just for you.

Welcome to the New Year, already a few days in and I am still in holiday mode, so have been relaxing and enjoying a rest. I do hope you and your loved ones are recharging.

Dolphins are good at celebrating life
Dolphins are good at celebrating life.

Its got a revitalizing feel to it 2019. I am still formulating this years plan. It will include taking Resource Therapy to London, England, a wedding in Suffolk and our annual trip to Bali. Yay!

So excited, we have booked our tickets back to New Zealand, for my Aunt Judy and Uncle Robin’s 50th wedding anniversary their golden anniversary. They are babies though in the longevity stakes – My Aunty Faye and Carl are the leaders coming in for their diamond jubilee – 60th wedding anniversary. Diamonds come from the Greek word adamas which means unconquerable and enduring. So right on all counts.

60th Wedding Anniversary the Diamond. Well done Aunty Faye and Carl!!
60th Wedding Anniversary the Diamond. Well done Aunty Faye and Carl!!

Longevity in relationships does matter. It’s no wonder I came up with the name marriage works. Both Chris and I come from a long line of stayers in that department. And why we want to help others in their relationship dilemma’s.

We had a beautiful relaxed New Years eve enjoying the company of good friends old and new. Watching the glorious Sydney harbor fireworks display come midnight. There was champagne, a small feast and dancing!

Sydney city fireworks are a tremendous display heralding the start to the new year 2019!

We hope you had a lovely start to the year. It felt special as our first Christmas as husband and wife. Sending all those first Christmas holiday season mothers, fathers and spouses my very best wishes. Super special!

baby-1249613_1920 Babies first new year, wonderful for new mums and dads everywhere.
To all the first year mums and dads a big smile!

Thanks ever so much to all our clients and supporters of Marriage Works in 2018. We really appreciate you and love hearing from you. Blessings and wishing you an awe inspiring start to 2019.

Here is your wish list gift from us to you:

Yours in gratitude- Philipa xox

How our break up fixed my Relationship…

I want to share something personal – this is a huge thing for me to put on the website being a very private person. Yet I am a great believer in being real and honest. Chris and I went through some tough times earlier this year. We had come to a place of separation.

Broken hearts need healing help

It was over as we were wanting different things from the relationship.

Marriage is an Institution and investment in each other
Marriage

I am traditional and believe in the institution of Marriage – hence the name Marriage Works – right! Of course you can be totally committed partners without it. I am no Marriagist. Chris having been divorced was not bothered by matrimony.

I am glad to say we did work things through and are happily back together in a more powerful and deeper connection than ever.

Plus we got married on November 3rd 2018, a happy day all round!

The Bride and Groom - Chris and Philipa got hitched!
The Bride and Groom – Chris and Philipa got hitched!

What helped was us going and seeing a couple therapist and working through our sticking points. Being a client and learning about myself has always improved my therapy game. I could not believe how anxious I was going to every appointment. I definitely have a bucket load more compassion having had the counseling experience. Our good therapist really turned things around. Thank you!

Togetherness side by side in your recovery journey will get you there couple-260899_1920
Togetherness side by side

What also was incredibly useful was a couple therapy workshop called  Getting the Love you Want – Couples Weekend Workshop  Clink on the link.

Getting the Love You Want!
Getting the Love You Want!

Brenda and Peter hold these workshops in Sydney, Melbourne and Auckland New Zealand. In the weekend we learnt so much about each other and it offered us a way forward in hope with our love.

I am passionate about couples learning to connect and heal this can happen in the therapy room. The bonus is you get to take the learning and techniques into your life.

Look up and see the light and move away from misery and pain
Look up and see the light and move away from misery and pain

Using it as a therapy tool I have seen partner’s change in 90 minutes as they see and get their spouses angst in a hearfelt way. It’s different to the old ways of communicating which lead to hopelessness and desperation.

I recommend it to all my couples and friends! It is coming very soon 8/9 December so give your self the best gift every – a healthier, happier relationship for the two of you.

Find a beacon of light and hope here
Find a beacon of light and hope here

Hello from the United States of America!

Hi all you wonderful people who take the time to read and write in to me here at Marriage Works!

I have the good fortune to be in Boulder, Colorado at the Michele Weiner-Davis Behind Closed Doors training. Every morning I get up to look at the amazing Flat Irons at Chataqua Park, yes I climbed up them a little the altitude up here is 5,500 feet. The air is thin and it is hot.

What a place to have training in couple therapy up near nature of the Flat Irons Chataqua Park, Colorado
What a place to have training in couple therapy up near nature of the Flat Irons Chataqua Park, Boulder, Colorado

Now back to Michele’s training – she is so generous and super talented in sharing her divorce busting techniques with a fabulous group of wonderful therapists. I am enjoying meeting these committed couple therapy warriors who help couples to gain change. They are so friendly to this Kiwi who has come from Sydney Australia! Thank you all!

Behind Closed Doors with Michele Weiner Davis, learning from the Divorce Buster Superstar
Behind Closed Doors with Michele Weiner Davis, learning from the Divorce Buster Superstar!

It’s good to be reminded of brief solution focussed therapy and access Michele’s updated version. She is a wonder worker and her passion shines forth. I can’t wait to take this back to my couples and work with the folks who see me!

How lucky I am and grateful to Michele for sharing so powerfully of herself and her clinical skills! And thanks to Jim her husband too!
How lucky I am and grateful to Michele for sharing so powerfully of herself and her clinical skills. And thanks to Jim her husband too! So Jet  lagged.

Sadly today is the last day of the powerful training. I have had a blast and feel so warmly welcomed in the US. Perhaps Michele has saved the juiciest bit till last as our final day is working on the Sex Starved Marriage. Based on her wonderful book of the same title-find the Sex Starved Marriage by Michele Weiner Davis here.

Thank you Michele, Jim and all the workshop participants for a wonderful adventure in learning.

With Love Philipa