Imago Relationship Therapist Sydney

Understanding the Imago Relationship Therapy Model for Partnerships

Why Choose Imago as a Brief Relationship Coaching Model?

Our childhood, particularly our relationships with our parents and significant others, profoundly shapes our personalities and relationships in adulthood.

Imago Relationship Therapy, a holistic and structured therapeutic approach, uses this concept to support couple growth and connection. Designed to help couples reduce conflicts and improve their relationships, the Imago Model delves into early influences of our personality parts and how we can adapt for a new, healthier partnership with good tools and guidance.

What Is Imago Therapy?

Dr. Harville Hendrix and Dr. Helen LaKelly Hunt developed Imago Therapy in the 1980s. The term “Imago” is Latin for ‘image,’ reflecting the idea that people are attracted to partners who mirror both the positive and negative traits of their childhood caregivers. As you can see we are drawn to seek and improve ourselves.

The theory acknowledges that early life experiences shape our understanding of love and safety. As adults, we unconsciously seek partners who resemble our parents, hoping to fulfil the unconscious image of love formed in our childhood.

Imago Therapy aims to help individuals address unresolved childhood issues and needs, making partners aware of how these experiences influence their current relationship dynamics. So when our partner is running late and hasn’t called us, our adult part can support us rather than our child part feeling abandoned. Or we can know our partners needs for reassurance come from their parents inability to tune into our unique aspects of ourselves. This is supremely freeing for both parties as you can imagine.

The therapist is your coach and guide, having completed many years of training. An Imago certified relationship psychologist will be using Imago both professionally and personally. Chris and I as a husband and wife team found this got us out of the hole we were stuck in. It’s a tried and true psychological method of relationship transformation for us. This is why we are so passionate sharing Imago with you!

The Core Principles of Imago Therapy

The Imago Therapy model is built on five fundamental principles:

Reimagining Your Partner as holding hurt from the past: Understanding your partner’s vulnerabilities rooted in their childhood experiences.
Rekindling Romance: Engaging in activities like giving gifts, surprising your partner, and appreciating each other to revive the romance in your relationship.
Transforming Disappointments and Frustrations: Converting complaints into constructive requests.
Managing Intense Emotions: Seeking solutions together to manage feelings. Learning to self-care and reset your nervous system from fight/flight/freeze responses and reactivity. Towards a calm and composed way of being, allowing us to reconnect with our rational thinking brain.
Re-envisioning Your Relationship: Viewing your relationship as a source of Joy, satisfaction, and safety.

Techniques in Imago Therapy

Imago Therapy employs various structured techniques to help couples reduce conflict and reconnect:

The Imago Dialogue: This structured process helps partners understand each other’s perspective better. During sessions, one partner shares their thoughts and feelings while the other listens without interruption, fostering a calm safe space for open and non-judgmental communication.
Mirroring: One partner reflects the words and emotional tone of the other without adding interpretation or judgment. This technique enhances understanding and allows for clarity. Offering you and your partner the opportunity to feel deeply heard and seen.
Empathy and Validation: These are crucial components of Imago Therapy. Through guided exercises, couples learn to empathise with each other’s experiences, validate their feelings, and respond with compassion rather than defensiveness, deepening their emotional connection. This is revitalising, as we are acknowledged and attuned to with care and kindness by our loved ones.
The Parent-Child Dialogue: Partners discuss their childhood experiences and feelings towards their parents or caregivers, leading to a better understanding of each other’s behaviours and needs. This offers a distance from past hurts and potential healing in the present.
Behaviour Change Requests: Partners take turns expressing what they would like their partner to improve, framed in a kind, and empathetic manner rather than the usual arguments with frustration or anger. Promoting conflict resolution in a safe environment.

Is Imago Therapy an Effective Short-Term Approach?

While research is limited, existing studies suggest that Imago Relationship Therapy is an effective approach for couples. A randomised control study the gold standard of research conducted by Gehlert, Schmidt, Giegerich, Luquet (2017) found that 12 weeks of Imago therapy for couples in distress seeking marital treatment was linked to improvements in relationship satisfaction. Their results demonstrated that individuals receiving Imago Relationship therapy showed statistically significant increases in marital satisfaction. Couples in the control group remained at the same level of distress.A qualitative study of meaningful data exploring 12 people of African and American heritage’s experience after completing Imago education/ Their data analysis saw improved communication between partners, increased understanding of self and partner, and their childhood experiences impact the relationship.

You and your partner sharing from your heart

We all deserve love and connection.

Why Choose Imago?

The Imago Model is a structured therapeutic approach designed to improve relationships by addressing the significant impact of early childhood experiences. It employs various techniques, such as the Imago Dialogue, behaviour change requests, and parent-child dialogue, to facilitate communication and connection among partners. Research supports its effectiveness in enhancing communication and relationship satisfaction.

At Marriage Works, we are committed to helping couples navigate the complexities of their relationships with tools like Imago Therapy. By understanding and addressing the roots of relationship dynamics, we aim to foster deeper connections and lasting satisfaction in partnerships.

Thanks so much for taking the time to read this,

With love and light Philipa and Chris.

References

Harville and Helen. What is Imago?
Martin TL, Bielawski DM. What is the African American’s experience following Imago education?. J Humanist Psychology. 2011;51(2):216-228. doi:10.1177/0022167809352379
Gehlert NC, Schmidt CD, Giegerich V, Luquet W. Randomized controlled trial of Imago relationship therapy: Exploring statistical and clinical significance. J Couple Relationship Therapy. 2017;16(3):188-209. doi:10.1080/15332691.2016.1253518

Additional Resources

Goodtherapy.org. Imago relationship therapy. 2018.
Harville and Helen. What is imago?.
Reichlin, B. Imago dialogue: Building great communication. 2018.
Hendrix, H. Getting the love you want: A guide for couples. Henry Holt & Company, New York. 1988.

Unlock the Secrets to a Lasting Relationship with “Getting the Love You Want”

Last updated on April 18th, 2024 at 03:55 pm

In the heart of every couple lies a deep yearning to understand and be understood, to connect and be connected, to love and be loved. If you’ve found yourself seeking a deeper, more fulfilling bond with your partner, the Imago Relationship Therapy’s “Getting the Love You Want” two-day couples program is your gateway to transforming your relationship into the partnership you’ve always dreamed of.

Why “Getting the Love You Want”?

Developed by leading experts in marital stability and satisfaction, this program is more than just a retreat; it’s a journey toward the heart of what truly matters in a relationship.

Professor Harville Hendrix Ph.D. and wife Helen La Kelly-Hunt Ph.D., Oprah’s favourite couples therapists, have developed a tried and true two-day inspirational couple journey.

Your presenter Philipa Thornton and husband Chris Paulin offer a lived experience as partners and psychologists. We know it can be tough but with the right help, change is not only possible but inevitable. This was the workshop that energized and strengthened us. We want to offer you the same support and practical skills you can use immediately in your home.

This workshop packs a punch. No more hours of therapy sessions. Get it done in a weekend intensive retreat.

Through a series of interactive sessions, you’ll explore the complexities of love, communication, and connection, unravelling the mysteries that have kept you from achieving the intimacy you crave.

Join the husband and wife team Chris & Philipa relationship psychologists for real world relationship satisfaction and resolution in our latest Sydney Getting the Love You Want Program, a two day workshop for couples. — Exclusive Couples Retreat two-day intensive Program Sydney with Imago Psychologist Philipa Thornton.

What You Will Discover

Over two transformative days, you and your partner will dive into the science and soul of love. You’ll learn:

The Art of Communication: Unlock the secrets to expressing your needs and desires without conflict.
Deepening Connection: Discover how to forge an unbreakable bond with your partner, even in the face of adversity.
Resolving Conflict: Learn strategies to turn conflicts into opportunities for growth and deeper understanding.
Revitalising Your Relationship: Rekindle the passion and joy that brought you together in the first place.

Why Now?

The “Getting the Love You Want” program is not just an event; it’s a turning point for your relationship.

With registration now open for May, this is your moment to choose love, understanding, and connection. Spaces are limited, as we believe in creating a close, intimate setting where every couple receives personalized attention.

Who Should Attend?

This program is designed for couples at any stage of their relationship, whether you’re in the blissful honeymoon phase, navigating challenges, or anywhere in between. It’s for those who believe in love’s potential to grow and enrich our lives in unimaginable ways.

Join Us and Transform Your Relationship

If you’re ready to embark on this journey, reach out to register for the “Getting the Love You Want” program – in person in Sydney Eastern Suburbs on May 25 & 26.

Don’t let another day pass wishing your relationship could be different. Take the step today towards the love you’ve always wanted, and the relationship you and your partner deserve.

Act Now: Secure Your Spot

Registration for May is now open, but spaces fill up quickly. Don’t miss out on this opportunity to transform your relationship and your life. Sign up now and start your journey to getting the love you want.

Register Here

Remember, love isn’t just about finding the right person. It’s about becoming the right partners for each other. Let us guide you there.

Deepening Bonds with Imago: Nurturing Empathy and Understanding in Relationships

By Philipa Thornton, Psychologist and Imago Relationship Therapy Expert

After decades as a psychologist specializing in relationship therapy, I’ve had the privilege of witnessing countless couples transform their relationships through Imago Relationship Therapy. This journey, both personal and professional, has been a testament to the power of understanding, empathy, and connection in fostering stronger bonds.

Understanding the Imago Concept

Imago Relationship Therapy, developed by Harville Hendrix, Ph.D., and Helen LaKelly Hunt, Ph.D., is based on a simple yet profound idea: our intimate relationships mirror the needs, fears, and experiences of our childhood. The term ‘Imago,’ Latin for ‘image,’ refers to the subconscious image of familiar love we carry with us, shaped by early interactions with caregivers. This image often guides us unconsciously in choosing our partners.

Personal Journey with Imago

My experience with Imago started several years ago when I realized that the approach enriched my professional skills and illuminated my personal path. Like many, I discovered parts of my ‘Imago’ in my husband, leading us to a deeper understanding of each other’s worlds. Our communication improved significantly, fostering a relationship filled with more empathy and less conflict. It was amazing to share such a magical experience learning more about my spouse’s inner world.

Couples’ Transformations

What’s truly remarkable is watching couples experience their own transformations. One couple, struggling with repetitive arguments, learned through Imago to see beyond the surface-level issues. They uncovered deep-seated vulnerabilities, leading to a newfound appreciation, compassion, and for each other.

Another couple, on the brink of separation, found hope in Imago workshops. Getting the Love You Want offered a reconnecting healing weekend beginning a new journey toward a deeper sense of security in their partnership. They learned to communicate their needs and fears without judgment or defensiveness. This safe space for dialogue allowed them to rebuild their trust and intimacy.

Core Principles of Imago

Safe Communication: Imago emphasizes respectful and empathetic dialogue. Couples learn to express their feelings and needs without blame or criticism, creating a safe environment for both partners.
Understanding Childhood Influences: By exploring how our past shapes our present, couples gain insights into their behaviors and reactions. This understanding fosters compassion and reduces conflict.
Healing and Growth: Imago therapy is not just about resolving conflicts; it’s about growth and healing. Couples often find that as they work through their issues, they develop stronger, more fulfilling relationships. The benefits flow onto their children and the important others we all have in our lives.
Empathy and Validation: Learning to validate and empathize with each other’s experiences is a cornerstone of Imago. This process deepens emotional connections and fosters a supportive partnership. Being seen, heard, and valued is priceless.

Why Choose Imago Therapy?

Couples choose Imago because it offers more than a quick fix. It’s a journey towards a deeper, more meaningful connection. It’s suited for all stages of a relationship, whether you’re newly in love, navigating rough waters, or simply seeking to deepen your bond.

How important is it for you to be seen and supported in meaningful ways? With Imago Therapy you and your partner will know the real, loving you.

Final Thoughts

In my career, I’ve witnessed the transformative power of Imago Relationship Therapy firsthand. It’s a tool not just for resolving conflicts, but for building a foundation of understanding and empathy that can weather any storm. The rewards are immeasurable for couples willing to embark on this journey – a relationship based on true understanding, respect, and love.

Remember, the path to a fulfilling relationship is not always easy, but with the right tools and guidance, it’s certainly possible. If you’re interested in exploring Imago Relationship Therapy and coaching, feel free to reach out. Let’s embark on this transformative journey together. Both Chris my husband and I offer Imago Relational Coaching in person or online.

So Are You Getting the Love You Want?

Probably not. Harville Hendrix discovered the secret to what goes wrong in our partnerships and how to heal.

It’s not you or your partner. You and your mate are simply repeating patterns of pain that began way before you met.

No wonder you feel stuck.

Having the same fight repeatedly. Yearning to feel heard and seen and connected in your relationship at a heart-centered level. It’s often the same for your partner too.

So what’s really going on?

Imago tells you why you are trapped in negativity and how to find a way out. With hope, intimacy, and heartfelt connection.

Keen to know more?

Here’s a YouTube animation summarising Harville Hendrix and his wife Helen LaKelly-Hunt in their New York Times Bestseller Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples. Thanks to @Ragwise – Read And Grow Wise. There are subtitles as the narrator has a thick accent.

A six-minute introduction to Imago Relationship Therapy and how it can help you and your partner move beyond conflict and restore connection.

Want to Learn Imago Couples Therapy Training ONLINE?

Super excited to share the wonder of Imago Relationship Therapy. This is for you if you are an individual therapist or a couples counselor wanting to add another field-proven couples therapy modality to your toolkit.

I am pleased to announce Module 1 Starts May 2nd. Please join us for two hours online weekly. NSW Australia time Tuesdays 9-11 am and USA Pacific time Monday 1, 6-8 pm. Brought to you by the Association of Imago Relationship Therapists Australia.

Are You Receiving the Love You Want?

Last updated on April 18th, 2024 at 04:09 pm

Probably not. We yearn for a loving partner, one that offers security, connection, and unconditional love. And yet where are they? Our mate maybe less than ideal, having forgotten the romance that brought you two together.

Maybe you feel disconnected, alone even abandoned at times.

You are not alone.

Believe it or not, your partner may have similar feelings of discontent. So many couples we speak to come in disheartened. Unable to connect except in arguments and strife.

Stuck in these never-ending loops, hope fades. That’s no life. You want more.

We get it.

Chris my husband and I got to this very point in our marital relationship. Yep, Marriage counsellors and relationship therapists need help too.

We discovered Imago Relationship Therapy. Chris wasn’t the problem and neither was I. We were in this together.

We took the Getting the Love You Want Workshop. We trained and certified as Imago Relationship Therapists with New Zealand Imago Relationships Institute – Peter McMillan and Brenda Rawlings (RIP).

Learning how to connect, communicate, appreciate, and shift our reactive patterns was enlightening and empowering. Moving from complaint to compassion. Knowing it’s only our history playing out. Having the psychological and emotional space to talk, share, and repair.

Knowing there’s a way forward. Genuine healing, heartfelt connection.

This is what we bring to our relationship coaching.

Whether you are together, or on your own relational coaching is a game changer. As we learn about ourselves, we can move out of negative beliefs and break out of the death spiral.

Are You Ready, Willing, and Wanting to Change Now? Sick and tired and can’t wait any longer? Please call us on 0434 559 011 on weekdays 9-5.

Here’s a YouTube preview video from America’s Imago Relationship Therapy’s founders – Helen LaKelly-Hunt and Harville Hendrix. As spouse’s they live and love the Imago way. With Imago dialogues, a relationship vision and warm connection in their marriage.

Imago Relationship Therapists and married couple. Harville and Helen.

And here is where our latest blog on the Getting the Love You Want Program in Sydney.

Would you like to know what is my other therapy hat and see me in action?

Hi Relationship Repairers! I hope you are well.

I wanted to share what my husband and I teach – Resource Therapy to other mental health professionals, to give you the opportunity to see what else we do.

Here is a post from the Resource Therapy Institute Australia . Limited time as there are less than 24 hours to go for this special gift – Click here NLP PLaybook & Calendar for the NLP Masters Summit where you can see me speak.

Also last minute I know but the “Getting the love you want Workshop” is on this weekend if you are in near Crows Nest Sydney. For details click here to go to the official Imago Therapy Australia website.

Over the Rainbow Video

Welcome Relationship repairers, healers, and those on the journey of reconnection.

Being a certified Imago Couples Therapist I’ve had the benefit of intensive training. My passion has led me to join the Australian Committee –

Excitingly part of my role is to support others in learning this powerful model of relationship repair and reconnection. Wonderfully excited to offer you the Imago Clinical training online.

Want to know more ? Please join us on April 18th at 8 pm online ( free meet and greet prior to the training) with our international presenters – Nedra Fetterman, Gene Shelly and Kobus van Der Merwe. Please register your interest in the comments section below.

Here’s a wonderful Imago explainer from Nedra. Over the Rainbow_ A Journey to Wholeness …

The Wizard of OZ Imago Therapist Nedra Fetterman shares Dorothy's healing journey Photo by julio andres rosario ortiz on Unsplash — The Wizard of OZ Imago Therapist Nedra Fetterman shares Dorothy’s healing journey Photo by julio andres rosario ortiz on Unsplash

The Love You Want…

Hello from Sydney lockdown, beautiful people!

Some good has come as we adhere to the necessary restrictions. However, this can cause pressure in our partnerships. Tensions flare, arguments escalate.

I don’t know about you, but it can take me a while to address things in my relationship, often complaining and then taking action.

One of the key skills we use is the Imago Dialogue. Easily learnt, it offers you and your mate a deeper connection in emotional safety.

It’s in the doing that counts.

Here’s something you can do for your relationship today – The Getting the Love you Want workshop is now online August 13-15.

A weekend of healing from the comfort of your own home.

So don’t miss out on this lockdown opportunity!

2021 (NOW ONLINE) Couples Workshop with Julie Ayres-Cutler and William Vorobioff

Fri evening 13 August: 7-9pm

Sat 14 August: 9am- 5pm

Sun 15 August: 9am- 5pm

Please note: This workshop will now proceed online.

To register or for more information please call Julie on 0422 955 414.

2021 Weekend Couple Workshop Online

Yours in gratitude and service,

Philipa

MONEY, MONEY, MONEY.

Now this topic can raise certain parts of us up in interesting ways, depending on our own early experiences. Are you a spendthrift? Or perhaps you live for today and forget to save for tomorrow. Exactly how did your parents handle money? Who was the decision maker or was it shared? Did they talk finances?

In my household it was very traditional. Dad was the breadwinner. Mum homemaker. And boy was my Dad controlling with the checkbook. Poor mum had to ask him to sign blank checks ( US spelling sorry) to buy the weekly grocery’s.

This was due to Dad’s lack of inner security, outdated and untrue beliefs about women and spending. Times have changed in their marriage. Mum is the one now holding all the ( credit) cards.

$ talking money, can be charged, yep I know bad pun. The way we get around this is with our Imago conversation. Want to see an actual couple session on this very topic?

Look here https://youtu.be/RNhwCIMPGoc Watch as Philip and Julia financial advisors deal with a their money blocks :

Tag: Imago Relationship Therapist Sydney

Understanding the Imago Relationship Therapy Model for Partnerships

Why Choose Imago as a Brief Relationship Coaching Model?