Last updated on March 20th, 2018 at 04:26 pm
Affairs, Infidelity, and Trust Rebuilding in Your Relationship (YES, it truly can happen!)
When you are in the glow of early marriage, you can’t possibly imagine an affair happening. Or maybe you could but you would quickly respond with, “If my spouse ever has an affair, I’m leaving!”
And then it happens. Your spouse is unfaithful. You are confronted with this bitter reality.
While it’s easy for you to think that you will leave your partner once he or she betrays you, the fact is, divorce and dissolving a marriage often involve high stakes – your life, your children, your relatives, not mention your properties and finances.
The Sense of Betrayal
Infidelity is devastating. Know that you will be feeling a whole raft of feelings – shock, disbelief, distrust, betrayal, abandonment, anger, hurt, sadness, and fear to name a few.
Let me reassure you that whatever you are feeling during this relationship crisis is completely normal and you can move beyond the pain of infidelity.
Recovery is Not Only Possible, But Probable
As a highly educated psychologist, I am trained in specific trauma techniques, such as Eye Movement Desensitisation Reprocessing (EMDR), Radical Exposure Therapy (RET), Emotional Freedom Techinque (EFT), Faster EFT and Resource Therapy. I often use these amazing processes to help people get through the shock, the unwanted pictures, disturbing memories, and initial heartbreak of the affair discovery and aftermath.
One client who kept getting intrusive thoughts about his partner’s detailed description, combined with his active imagination, addressed this in a Skype session.
Of course, these events were haunting him, keeping him awake at night and leaving him feeling anxious and insecure. This was heightened as he was away on a business trip and his wife was in Australia.
He was as committed to saving his marriage as his wife was and with Marriage Works therapy, was able to literally dissolve these recurring and disturbing thoughts. He commented when he got back in Sydney how simple but “surprisingly effective and lasting” the technique proved to be.
Know that relationships can recover from infidelity. I won’t lie and say it is easy, but with help it is definitely possible and indeed probable. Without professional coaching your relationship may continue to limp along, festering with fear, hurt anger, resentment and distrust.
Having assisted many couples dealing with affairs, I know what helps and what hurts.
Divorce isn’t the only solution. A third of Australian marriages end in divorce, and you don’t want to be another divorce statistic.