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Book Resources Recommended by Philipa

I love reading ever since I was a  little kid. It has helped me learn and grow both personally and professionally. Today you can easily enjoy audio versions of book too, terrific for the home commute. This page is dedicated to giving you my book recommendations for health and healing. I would also love to hear yours so please suggest any you have found helpful and I will pop them up for all.

I’d be ever so grateful if you wish to purchase any of these books here, all you need to is click on the link or book picture to go directly to Amazon. This is an affiliate link through which I make a small commission. If you buy via the link this helps us to  offset the cost of running this website and helping you and others, so thank you. Of course you don’t have to use the link, you can search for them and buy it without the affiliate link.

They are in no particular order. Enjoy, learn and heal!


Healthy Parts Happy Self – 3 Steps to Like Yourself

Happy Parts, Happy Self. 3 Steps to Like Yourself. Gordon Emmerson PhD.
Happy Parts, Happy Self. 3 Steps to Like Yourself.
Gordon Emmerson PhD.

Do your emotions get in your way? Do they cause you to eat, buy, or react in a way you don’t want?
Are there times when there is a battle on the inside?
When our inner parts are at peace and when they all feel safe and supported we can be our true selves. There is no better gift to give ourselves and our friends.
Addictions are a reaction to unhappy parts and when these parts get what they need and deserve we can live the lives we want.
We can enjoy all aspects of life better when we have the best part out. Buy discounted book here .


In this indispensable handbook, Richard Carlson demonstrates how we can change everything in our lives – earn more money, meet new friends, get a new job – yet still feel dissatisfied. Happiness, he says, is not ‘out there’ but within, a state of mind that is independent of circumstance: ‘If you begin to see that your thoughts are not the real thing – they’re just thoughts and as thoughts they can’t hurt you – your entire life will begin to change today.’Carlson’s step-by-step guide explains:• How your thoughts determine how you feel.• Why thinking about problems only makes them worse.• That thoughts come and go – you are free to choose at any moment which to hold on to and which to let go.• Straightforward methods for conquering depression.• How to dismiss negative thoughts and discover inner contentment.• How to overcome lifelong pessimism and start really living. I really loved this when I first read it in 2003. It is easy, smart and really helpful.

I have mentioned Byron Katie’s four questions on the LRT blog. Again very practical, simple and elegant advice.

Here is her terrific book Loving What is, Four Questions that will Change your LIfe.

Relationship Advice

The work of John Gottman, PH.D is world renowned, with helpful couples advice and exercises.

From the country’s foremost relationship expert and New York Times bestselling author Dr. John M. Gottman comes a powerful, simple five-step program, based on twenty years of innovative research, for greatly improving all of the relationships in your life—with spouses and lovers, children, siblings, and even your colleagues at work.

Gottman provides the tools you need to make your relationships thrive. In The Relationship Cure, Dr. Gottman:

– Reveals the key elements of healthy relationships, emphasizing the importance of what he calls “emotional connection”
– Introduces the powerful new concept of the emotional “bid,” the fundamental unit of emotional connection
– Provides remarkably empowering tools for improving the way you bid for emotional connection and how you respond to others’ bids
– And more!

Packed with fascinating questionnaires and exercises developed in his therapy, The Relationship Cure offers a simple but profound program that will fundamentally transform the quality of all of the relationships in your life.

Pre Marriage

Ok this one I haven’t read yet but will. It comes highly recommended on the web and I wanted you to have something to start with.

First Year of Marriage: The Newlyweds Guide to Building a Strong Foundation and Adjusting to Married Life by Marcus and Ashley Kusi

You will learn how to build a strong foundation for your marriage,

In addition, you will learn how to resolve conflicts and get your sex life off to a great start. There’s plenty to learn in this must-read first year of marriage book.

We authored this non-religious premarital counseling book to help newlyweds and engaged couples build a strong foundation for a fulfilling marriage.

This book also comes with a 12-Week Action Plan to help you practice everything from the book. It’s the perfect marriage book for newlyweds and engaged couples.


After the Affair Healing the pain and Rebuilding trust when a partner has been unfaithful. Janis Abrahms Spring PH.D with Michael Spring.

Ruth Ostrow says ” Affairs happen. It’s no use turjing a blind eye. We urgently need books like this to help us deal with one of the most prevalent, yet least discussed social realities plaguing moder life.”

I have read this book and like it’s take on infidelity, I have quoted it in a past post xx insert here

“We enter intimate relationships blindly, often effortlessly, sept up with the passion and an idealised perception of our partner, often cocky about our ability to keep things hot. Most of us are totally unprepared for wht lies ahead and ignorant of what’s required to last the course…The affair shocks us into reality. Fortunately, it also invites us to try again.” Excerpt from After the Affair.

Emotional Infidelity. How to AFFAIR-PROOF your Marriage and 10 other Secrets to a Great Relationship. M. Gary Neuman.

I love this book and all of Gary’s work, I use it in my couple therapy. It offers safeguard to protect your marriage from external threats whether it be a collueague at work, or your in laws. A must read for all couples! Especially early in the relationship. If you follow this you will have a truly solid foundation of your relationship house.

Domestic Violence/Family Safety

When Love Goes Wrong: What to do when you can’t do anything right. Ann Jones & Susan Schechter

From the book : Too many women find themselves in abusive relationships and don’t know what to do, or even what’s wrong. She may feel anxious, inadequate, intimidated and on eggshells, and find herself trying harder without success. The authors bring their experience with survivors to offer an eyeopening analysis of controlling partners and empowering information for women seeking change.



The Emotionally Abusive Relationship: How to Stop Being Abused and How to Stop Abusing. Beverley Engel


I have several of Beverley Engel’s books, in my she is a legend. She speaks of the recipricocal cycle of abuse and asks us to recognise and change. Simply brilliant but confronting too.

Here’s the Amazon blurb which says it so well:

Engel doesn’t just describe-she shows us the way out.”
-Susan Forward, author of Emotional Blackmail Praise for the emotionally abusive relationship

“In this book, Beverly Engel clearly and with caring offers step-by-step strategies to stop emotional abuse. . . helping both victims and abusers to identify the patterns of this painful and traumatic type of abuse. This book is a guide both for individuals and for couples stuck in the tragic patterns of emotional abuse.”
-Marti Loring, Ph.D., author of Emotional Abuse
and coeditor of The Journal of Emotional Abuse

“This groundbreaking book succeeds in helping people stop emotional abuse by focusing on both the abuser and the abused and showing each party what emotional abuse is, how it affects the relationship, and how to stop it. Its unique focus on the dynamic relationship makes it more likely that each person will grasp the tools for change and really use them.”
-Randi Kreger, author of The Stop Walking on Eggshells Workbook
and owner of

The number of people who become involved with partners who abuse them emotionally and/or who are emotionally abusive themselves is phenomenal, and yet emotional abuse is the least understood form of abuse. In this breakthrough book, Beverly Engel, one of the world’s leading experts on the subject, shows us what it is and what to do about it.

The Verbally Abusive Relationship, How to Recognise it and Respond to it. Patricia Evans.

Patricia Evan’s gives wonderful and practical advice grounded in real world experience. I recommend any of her books.

Learn why verbal abuse is more widespread than ever, how to recognize and deal with it safely, and most important, how to lead a happier, healthier life. Also, outside stresses driving the rise in verbal abuse, mitigate the effects on relationships, levels of abuse (insidious put-downs, tantrums of name-calling, screaming, and threats that can escalate into physical abuse).


Separation and Divorce

Helping your Kids Cope with Divorce the Sandcastles Way. M. Gary Neuman.

This is an epic volume, I happened across it in the good will store and am so glad I bought it for  a bargain $4. Packed full of children’s experiences, useful words and exercices this book does deliver. Every child’s age and stage is looked into and amazing advice offered. Pure gold!


Trauma and Recovery

Another brilliant book By Beverley Engel.

For the Health Professional

Couple Therapy in Australia. Edited by Elisabeth Shaw and Jim Crawley.

Couple Therapy in Australia. Issues Emerging from Practice. Edited by Elisabeth Shaw and Jim Crawley.
Couple Therapy in Australia. Issues Emerging from Practice.
Edited by Elisabeth Shaw and Jim Crawley.


General Good Reads

Life is Good. George Dawsonand Richard Glaubman,

George Dawson’s life is expressed beautifully by Richard Glaubman, and was an incredible and inspiring journey.