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Unlock the Secrets to a Deeper Connection at Our “Getting the Love You Want” Weekend for Couples

Last updated on July 21st, 2024 at 03:05 pm

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Are you and your partner looking for a transformative experience that will take your relationship to new heights? Join us for an enriching two-day journey at our “Getting the Love You Want” Imago couples program, where we dedicate ourselves to mentoring your partnership toward deeper understanding, connection, and love.

The Power of Understanding and Connection

In every relationship, communication, and understanding are the bedrock of intimacy and growth. However, amidst the hustle and bustle of daily life, these critical aspects can take a backseat, leading to feelings of disconnect and unfulfillment. This is where our program steps in, offering a sanctuary for couples to explore, understand, and reconnect with each other on a profound level.

What to Expect

Throughout this immersive weekend, you and your partner will embark on a guided exploration of your relationship, working together only facilitated by experts in couples therapy. Through a blend of interactive sessions, reflective exercises, and open , you’ll uncover the patterns that have shaped your partnership and learn practical tools to build a stronger, more resilient bond.

  1. Interactive Sessions: Engage in dynamic activities designed to foster open communication and deepen emotional intimacy.
  2. Reflective Exercises: Gain insights into your relationship dynamics and individual contributions, paving the way for meaningful change.
  3. Open Discussions: Share experiences in a supportive environment, learning from other couples while reinforcing your journey.

Why “Getting the Love You Want”?

Our program is based on decades of psychological research and clinical experience, distilled into a powerful weekend that’s both enlightening and practical. Whether you’re navigating challenges or simply seeking to enhance your relationship, “Getting the Love You Want” provides a clear path forward. It’s more than a program; it’s an investment in the future of your partnership.

Your Mentors

Led by Philipa Thornton, a renowned psychologist specializing in couples therapy and Resource Therapy, and her team of expert therapists, you’re in compassionate and capable hands. With a rich background in EMDR, Imago Relationship Therapy, and a passion for fostering strong, healthy relationships, Philipa and her team offer a wealth of knowledge and support, guiding couples towards lasting love and understanding.

Join Us

Don’t miss this opportunity to transform your relationship and discover the love you’ve always wanted. Spaces are limited to ensure a personalized and intimate experience, so secure your spot today and embark on a journey of love, growth, and connection.

For more information and to register, visit our website. Let’s unlock the full potential of your partnership together.

Here’s a YouTube preview video from America’s Imago Relationship Therapy’s founders – Helen LaKelly-Hunt and Harville Hendrix. As a spouse, they live and love the Imago way. With Imago dialogues, a relationship vision and warm connection in their marriage.

Imago Relationship Therapists and married couple. Harville and Helen.

Understanding the Imago Relationship Therapy Model for Partnerships

Why Choose Imago as a Brief Relationship Coaching Model?

Our childhood, particularly our relationships with our parents and significant others, profoundly shapes our personalities and relationships in adulthood.

Imago Relationship Therapy, a holistic and structured therapeutic approach, uses this concept to support couple growth and connection. Designed to help couples reduce conflicts and improve their relationships, the Imago Model delves into early influences of our personality parts and how we can adapt for a new, healthier partnership with good tools and guidance.

What Is Imago Therapy?

Dr. Harville Hendrix and Dr. Helen LaKelly Hunt developed Imago Therapy in the 1980s. The term “Imago” is Latin for ‘image,’ reflecting the idea that people are attracted to partners who mirror both the positive and negative traits of their childhood caregivers. As you can see we are drawn to seek and improve ourselves.

The theory acknowledges that early life experiences shape our understanding of love and safety. As adults, we unconsciously seek partners who resemble our parents, hoping to fulfil the unconscious image of love formed in our childhood.

Imago Therapy aims to help individuals address unresolved childhood issues and needs, making partners aware of how these experiences influence their current relationship dynamics. So when our partner is running late and hasn’t called us, our adult part can support us rather than our child part feeling abandoned. Or we can know our partners needs for reassurance come from their parents inability to tune into our unique aspects of ourselves. This is supremely freeing for both parties as you can imagine.

The therapist is your coach and guide, having completed many years of training. An Imago certified relationship psychologist will be using Imago both professionally and personally. Chris and I as a husband and wife team found this got us out of the hole we were stuck in. It’s a tried and true psychological method of relationship transformation for us. This is why we are so passionate sharing Imago with you!

The Core Principles of Imago Therapy

The Imago Therapy model is built on five fundamental principles:

  • Reimagining Your Partner as holding hurt from the past: Understanding your partner’s vulnerabilities rooted in their childhood experiences.
  • Rekindling Romance: Engaging in activities like giving gifts, surprising your partner, and appreciating each other to revive the romance in your relationship.
  • Transforming Disappointments and Frustrations: Converting complaints into constructive requests.
  • Managing Intense Emotions: Seeking solutions together to manage feelings. Learning to self-care and reset your nervous system from fight/flight/freeze responses and reactivity. Towards a calm and composed way of being, allowing us to reconnect with our rational thinking brain.
  • Re-envisioning Your Relationship: Viewing your relationship as a source of Joy, satisfaction, and safety.

Techniques in Imago Therapy

Imago Therapy employs various structured techniques to help couples reduce conflict and reconnect:

  • The Imago Dialogue: This structured process helps partners understand each other’s perspective better. During sessions, one partner shares their thoughts and feelings while the other listens without interruption, fostering a calm safe space for open and non-judgmental communication.
  • Mirroring: One partner reflects the words and emotional tone of the other without adding interpretation or judgment. This technique enhances understanding and allows for clarity. Offering you and your partner the opportunity to feel deeply heard and seen.
  • Empathy and Validation: These are crucial components of Imago Therapy. Through guided exercises, couples learn to empathise with each other’s experiences, validate their feelings, and respond with compassion rather than defensiveness, deepening their emotional connection. This is revitalising, as we are acknowledged and attuned to with care and kindness by our loved ones.
  • The Parent-Child Dialogue: Partners discuss their childhood experiences and feelings towards their parents or caregivers, leading to a better understanding of each other’s behaviours and needs. This offers a distance from past hurts and potential healing in the present.
  • Behaviour Change Requests: Partners take turns expressing what they would like their partner to improve, framed in a kind, and empathetic manner rather than the usual arguments with frustration or anger. Promoting conflict resolution in a safe environment.

Is Imago Therapy an Effective Short-Term Approach?

While research is limited, existing studies suggest that Imago Relationship Therapy is an effective approach for couples. A randomised control study the gold standard of research conducted by Gehlert, Schmidt, Giegerich, Luquet (2017) found that 12 weeks of Imago therapy for couples in distress seeking marital treatment was linked to improvements in relationship satisfaction. Their results demonstrated that individuals receiving Imago Relationship therapy showed statistically significant increases in marital satisfaction. Couples in the control group remained at the same level of distress.A qualitative study of meaningful data exploring 12 people of African and American heritage’s experience after completing Imago education/ Their data analysis saw improved communication between partners, increased understanding of self and partner, and their childhood experiences impact the relationship.

You and your partner sharing from your heart

We all deserve love and connection.

Why Choose Imago?

The Imago Model is a structured therapeutic approach designed to improve relationships by addressing the significant impact of early childhood experiences. It employs various techniques, such as the Imago Dialogue, behaviour change requests, and parent-child dialogue, to facilitate communication and connection among partners. Research supports its effectiveness in enhancing communication and relationship satisfaction.

At Marriage Works, we are committed to helping couples navigate the complexities of their relationships with tools like Imago Therapy. By understanding and addressing the roots of relationship dynamics, we aim to foster deeper connections and lasting satisfaction in partnerships.

Thanks so much for taking the time to read this,

With love and light Philipa and Chris.

References
  1. Harville and Helen. What is Imago?
  2. Martin TL, Bielawski DM. What is the African American’s experience following Imago education?. J Humanist Psychology. 2011;51(2):216-228. doi:10.1177/0022167809352379
  3. Gehlert NC, Schmidt CD, Giegerich V, Luquet W. Randomized controlled trial of Imago relationship therapy: Exploring statistical and clinical significance. J Couple Relationship Therapy. 2017;16(3):188-209. doi:10.1080/15332691.2016.1253518
Additional Resources

Heal Your Relationship: Imago Relationship Couples Intensive In Sydney!

Are you and your partner looking to deepen your connection, improve communication, and reignite the spark in your relationship? At Marriage Works, we’re thrilled to announce our upcoming Imago Relationship Couples Intensive Program, is taking place in beautiful Sydney on November 16th and 17th.

Join the thousands of happy partners who have found the secret to success with this globally respected, tried, and true course – Getting the Love You Want weekend workshop.

This transformative experience is designed to help couples like you build stronger, more fulfilling relationships. Applying real-world practical skills, you will be able to use immediately.

What Is the Imago Relationship Couples Intensive?

Our Imago Relationship Couples Intensive is a two-day immersive program that combines the best of relationship psychology with practical, hands-on exercises. Whether you’re newlyweds or have been together for decades, this program offers valuable insights and tools to help you navigate the complexities of your relationship with greater ease and understanding.

This is you in your future - happy, connected and passionate for each other!

Led by Philipa Thornton, a highly respected Relationship Psychologist and certified Imago Psychotherapist, you’ll benefit from her unique blend of professional expertise and personal experience. As a partner and wife herself, Philipa understands the real-life challenges couples face and is passionate about helping you overcome them.

Why You Should Attend

  1. Expert Guidance: Philipa Thornton brings years of experience and a deep understanding of relationship dynamics. Her warm, approachable style makes learning enjoyable and effective.
  2. Interactive Sessions: Our program is not just about listening; it’s about doing. You’ll participate in practical exercises and meaningful dialogues designed to bring you closer to your partner.
  3. Safe and Supportive Environment: We create a confidential, nurturing space where you can feel safe to share, heal, and grow together.
  4. Proven Techniques: Learn effective tools and strategies from the Imago Therapy framework, a proven approach to enhancing relationships.

Don’t Miss Out – Register Now!

We understand how busy life can get, but investing time in your relationship is one of the best decisions you can make. Our early bird rates are currently available, so don’t wait to secure your spot. These special rates are limited, and our programs tend to fill up quickly.

Join Us in Sydney!

Picture this: a weekend in Sydney dedicated to just you and your partner. A time to step away from the daily grind and focus on what truly matters – your relationship. Imagine leaving the event feeling closer, more connected, and equipped with new tools to keep your relationship thriving.

Don’t let this opportunity pass you by. Early bird rates won’t last long, and spots are filling up quickly. Take the first step towards a more loving and fulfilling relationship today.

For more details and to secure your spot, visit our website or call us. We can’t wait to welcome you and support your journey to a stronger, happier partnership!

Warm regards,
Philipa Thornton and the Marriage Works Team

Take Action Today

Please drop a comment below and let us know your hopes for joining us.

Registration is now open! To apply for your ticket to Loving Connection, simply click this link to Call Philipa or send me an email.

It will be amazing, and I can’t wait to meet you all!

Celebrating All Mums: A Tribute to You, This Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day is a special time to honour the incredible women who have shaped our lives in countless ways. At Marriage Works, we believe that motherhood comes in many forms, and each deserves recognition and celebration.

From those nurturing children and pets to those remembering mothers no longer with us, today is a day to acknowledge the diverse experiences of all mothers.

Motherhood is not confined to biological relationships. It extends to adoptive mothers, stepmothers, grandmothers, and even mentors who have played a pivotal role in guiding and nurturing others. Each mother, regardless of the path she has taken, shares a common thread of love, sacrifice, and dedication that binds her to those she cares for.

For many, this day is filled with joyous celebrations, breakfasts in bed, handmade cards, and family gatherings. We cherish the laughter and the warm embraces, the stories retold, and the memories made. These moments are precious, reflecting the deep bonds and affection that define motherhood.

However, Mother’s Day can also evoke a range of emotions for those whose mothers are no longer physically present. The day may carry a bittersweet mix of nostalgia and loss. Be kind to yourself. At Marriage Works, we encourage everyone to find a meaningful way to connect with the memory of their mothers, or the mother you wished you had had. Journalling on this can be a powerful healing tool acknowledging your feelings and yearnings with respect. Whether it’s visiting a cherished place, looking through old photos, or simply sharing stories, these acts can bring comfort and a sense of closeness.

This Mother’s Day marks my second without my mum. Our relationship, like many, had its complexities; yet, it was the longest and most significant of my life. Being there as she brought me into this world and then being with her as she left was a sacred moment that has profoundly shaped me. I learnt a lot through the parts work journey of Resource Therapy. This offered me a new level of awareness in our relationship. It taught me about the cyclical nature of care and the deep, enduring bonds of motherhood, even amidst difficulties.

Pet mothers also hold a special place in our celebrations. The care and love they extend to their animal companions demonstrate a form of motherhood that is both unique and profound. Pets often become integral members of our families, and the bonds they form with their caregivers are as real and as significant as any other.

As we honour all mothers, we also acknowledge the challenges and triumphs that come with motherhood. It is a journey of immense responsibility, often demanding a delicate balance of strength and gentleness, wisdom and warmth. To all mothers, we extend our deepest gratitude for the countless ways you make the world a better place.

This Mother’s Day, let’s embrace the wide spectrum of motherhood. Let’s celebrate the traditional, unconventional, present, and absent. Each story of motherhood is unique, each journey deserving of recognition.

At Marriage Works, Chris and I are here to support and honour every mother, understanding that motherhood is not defined by a single narrative but by countless stories of love, sacrifice, and resilience.

So, to all mothers—past, present, and those with furry children—happy Mother’s Day. Thank you for your endless love and the profound impact you make every day. Your strength and love shape not just the lives you touch directly but also the broader fabric of our society. Today, we celebrate you all, with all our hearts.

Unlock the Secrets to a Lasting Relationship with “Getting the Love You Want”

Last updated on April 18th, 2024 at 03:55 pm

In the heart of every couple lies a deep yearning to understand and be understood, to connect and be connected, to love and be loved. If you’ve found yourself seeking a deeper, more fulfilling bond with your partner, the Imago Relationship Therapy’s “Getting the Love You Want” two-day couples program is your gateway to transforming your relationship into the partnership you’ve always dreamed of.

Why “Getting the Love You Want”?

Developed by leading experts in marital stability and satisfaction, this program is more than just a retreat; it’s a journey toward the heart of what truly matters in a relationship.

Professor Harville Hendrix Ph.D. and wife Helen La Kelly-Hunt Ph.D., Oprah’s favourite couples therapists, have developed a tried and true two-day inspirational couple journey.

Your presenter Philipa Thornton and husband Chris Paulin offer a lived experience as partners and psychologists. We know it can be tough but with the right help, change is not only possible but inevitable. This was the workshop that energized and strengthened us. We want to offer you the same support and practical skills you can use immediately in your home.

This workshop packs a punch. No more hours of therapy sessions. Get it done in a weekend intensive retreat.

Through a series of interactive sessions, you’ll explore the complexities of love, communication, and connection, unravelling the mysteries that have kept you from achieving the intimacy you crave.

Join the husband and wife team Chris & Philipa relationship psychologists for real world relationship satisfaction and resolution in our latest Sydney Getting the Love You Want Program, a two day workshop for couples.
Exclusive Couples Retreat two-day intensive Program Sydney with Imago Psychologist Philipa Thornton.

What You Will Discover

Over two transformative days, you and your partner will dive into the science and soul of love. You’ll learn:

  • The Art of Communication: Unlock the secrets to expressing your needs and desires without conflict.
  • Deepening Connection: Discover how to forge an unbreakable bond with your partner, even in the face of adversity.
  • Resolving Conflict: Learn strategies to turn conflicts into opportunities for growth and deeper understanding.
  • Revitalising Your Relationship: Rekindle the passion and joy that brought you together in the first place.

Why Now?

The “Getting the Love You Want” program is not just an event; it’s a turning point for your relationship.

With registration now open for May, this is your moment to choose love, understanding, and connection. Spaces are limited, as we believe in creating a close, intimate setting where every couple receives personalized attention.

Who Should Attend?

This program is designed for couples at any stage of their relationship, whether you’re in the blissful honeymoon phase, navigating challenges, or anywhere in between. It’s for those who believe in love’s potential to grow and enrich our lives in unimaginable ways.

Join Us and Transform Your Relationship

If you’re ready to embark on this journey, reach out to register for the “Getting the Love You Want” program – in person in Sydney Eastern Suburbs on May 25 & 26.

Don’t let another day pass wishing your relationship could be different. Take the step today towards the love you’ve always wanted, and the relationship you and your partner deserve.

Act Now: Secure Your Spot

Registration for May is now open, but spaces fill up quickly. Don’t miss out on this opportunity to transform your relationship and your life. Sign up now and start your journey to getting the love you want.

Register Here

Remember, love isn’t just about finding the right person. It’s about becoming the right partners for each other. Let us guide you there.

Deepening Bonds with Imago: Nurturing Empathy and Understanding in Relationships

By Philipa Thornton, Psychologist and Imago Relationship Therapy Expert

After decades as a psychologist specializing in relationship therapy, I’ve had the privilege of witnessing countless couples transform their relationships through Imago Relationship Therapy. This journey, both personal and professional, has been a testament to the power of understanding, empathy, and connection in fostering stronger bonds.

Understanding the Imago Concept

Imago Relationship Therapy, developed by Harville Hendrix, Ph.D., and Helen LaKelly Hunt, Ph.D., is based on a simple yet profound idea: our intimate relationships mirror the needs, fears, and experiences of our childhood. The term ‘Imago,’ Latin for ‘image,’ refers to the subconscious image of familiar love we carry with us, shaped by early interactions with caregivers. This image often guides us unconsciously in choosing our partners.

Personal Journey with Imago

My experience with Imago started several years ago when I realized that the approach enriched my professional skills and illuminated my personal path. Like many, I discovered parts of my ‘Imago’ in my husband, leading us to a deeper understanding of each other’s worlds. Our communication improved significantly, fostering a relationship filled with more empathy and less conflict. It was amazing to share such a magical experience learning more about my spouse’s inner world.

Couples’ Transformations

What’s truly remarkable is watching couples experience their own transformations. One couple, struggling with repetitive arguments, learned through Imago to see beyond the surface-level issues. They uncovered deep-seated vulnerabilities, leading to a newfound appreciation, compassion, and for each other.

Another couple, on the brink of separation, found hope in Imago workshops. Getting the Love You Want offered a reconnecting healing weekend beginning a new journey toward a deeper sense of security in their partnership. They learned to communicate their needs and fears without judgment or defensiveness. This safe space for dialogue allowed them to rebuild their trust and intimacy.

Core Principles of Imago

  1. Safe Communication: Imago emphasizes respectful and empathetic dialogue. Couples learn to express their feelings and needs without blame or criticism, creating a safe environment for both partners.
  2. Understanding Childhood Influences: By exploring how our past shapes our present, couples gain insights into their behaviors and reactions. This understanding fosters compassion and reduces conflict.
  3. Healing and Growth: Imago therapy is not just about resolving conflicts; it’s about growth and healing. Couples often find that as they work through their issues, they develop stronger, more fulfilling relationships. The benefits flow onto their children and the important others we all have in our lives.
  4. Empathy and Validation: Learning to validate and empathize with each other’s experiences is a cornerstone of Imago. This process deepens emotional connections and fosters a supportive partnership. Being seen, heard, and valued is priceless.

Why Choose Imago Therapy?

Couples choose Imago because it offers more than a quick fix. It’s a journey towards a deeper, more meaningful connection. It’s suited for all stages of a relationship, whether you’re newly in love, navigating rough waters, or simply seeking to deepen your bond.

How important is it for you to be seen and supported in meaningful ways? With Imago Therapy you and your partner will know the real, loving you.
How important is it for you to be seen and supported in meaningful ways? With Imago Therapy you and your partner will know the real, loving you.

Final Thoughts

In my career, I’ve witnessed the transformative power of Imago Relationship Therapy firsthand. It’s a tool not just for resolving conflicts, but for building a foundation of understanding and empathy that can weather any storm. The rewards are immeasurable for couples willing to embark on this journey – a relationship based on true understanding, respect, and love.

Remember, the path to a fulfilling relationship is not always easy, but with the right tools and guidance, it’s certainly possible. If you’re interested in exploring Imago Relationship Therapy and coaching, feel free to reach out. Let’s embark on this transformative journey together. Both Chris my husband and I offer Imago Relational Coaching in person or online.

Therapist’s Learn Imago Now! With Clinical Training Online

It’s no surprise to hear me talking about Imago Couples therapy. Chris and I use this as our go-to relationship healing toolkit. In my office, I see a visible sigh and sense of relief as I share with many clients that Imago’s marital therapy got Chris and me through a sticky patch in our marriage.

For me, Imago therapy is both professionally and personally tried and true.

Lots of you may not know one of my other professional hats is as Training Coordinator for the Australia( AIRTA) executive committee – The Association for Imago Relationship Australia. Going to Las Vegas for the annual Imago Conference in October, but that’s for another post.

So let me proudly share our next learning opportunity for therapists, counsellors, psychologists, Doctors, and other mental health professionals or career transitioners.

Imago Module 1 Clinical Training.

October 24 Online AEDT 9-11 am

Would you love seeing your clients reconnecting, softening and potentially healing together? Imago therapy offers you the relationship and connection as the key to opening the door to heartfelt communion, communication, and collaboration.

Imagine relational coaching where you expertly and elegantly attune to your client’s goals and deepest desires for joy.

Imago Relationship Therapy #love #Imago
Imago Relationship Therapy #love #Imagojonathan-borba-aBNnuIoW1lo-unsplash

Imago Therapy offers emotionally safe,  healthy, and loving relationships with a way forward for couples.

Imago clinical training gives you specific, strategic tools while allowing your therapy alchemy.

Allowing you to feel comfortable, contained, and compassionate to anyone who walks into your office. From this perspective, your therapist part will be able to hold and assist couple reactivity and disconnection with a sense of calm-centered being. Allowing your client to show up in their relationship. Imagine feeling that flow of creativity and energy in your office or online. Well, you can!

This truly practical and transformational training will increase your awareness of your own personal and therapeutic potential, whether in a relationship with your clients, your partner, and/or the world.

Imago Relationship Therapy (IRT) is a complete therapy and offers a comprehensive theory informing its application, as developed by Harville Hendrix, Ph.D., and Helen LaKelly Hunt. 

IRT masterfully connects psychology, object relations, systems theory, and humanistic-existential theory into a systematic approach to working with relationships.

Learn to spark joy working with clients through the Imago Clinical Training program (ICT). As therapists, we will know how to assist couples with profound insights and real relationship-enhancing results.

It is exciting to know you will gain confidence and experience enough to be using Imago tools in your next couple sessions.

You will find yourself feeling rewarded and invigorated in your couple’s work,  or as you start as a relationship coach with clients leaving with a smile, holding hands, and most importantly having hope to move beyond painful patterns.

We are all part of the relational system, we are born to love and be loved.

Benefits of the Imago model…

  • Real-world skills your clients can take from your rooms and apply in their day-to-day experience
  • Incorporates tried and true clinical methodologies
  • You will have to hand powerful and effective system of interventions and techniques adaptable to your unique client needs
  • Lived experience as you grow and develop both personally and professionally.
  • Targeted Interventions are specific to your unique client needs.
  • There is no one-size-fits-all cookie-cutter model.

Imago is designed to assist therapists in developing skills with a solid sense of confidence and real competence in their work with couples and relationships.

The Imago motto – “Healing in Relationships.”

This sincerely gratifying work will… 

  • Skyrocket your professional career to the next level. 
  • Build real-world progress and potentially offer more satisfied client referrals
  • Assist couples toward reconnection and revisioning their partnership using Imago Relationship Therapy tools.  
  • Teach transformative, and research-based methods for relational repair.
  • Allow for individual growth both personally and professionally

Are you the therapist who can help your couple re-pair and re-vision their partnership?

It starts with you – begin changing the world one relationship at a time.

Become an Imago Relationship Coach today.

With your joy, your heartbreak turned into healing and freedom with divine connection and the spark of true intimacy. Feeling heard, seen and profoundly important and special in your partnership.

You will practice with our experts in the field Nedra Fetterman, Gene Shelley, and Kobus van Der Merwe. Imago Therapists of the highest calibre with eons of clinical knowledge and experience. Indeed both Nedra and Kobus’s parents were influential Imago practitioners in their careers. Perfect timing for USA participants.

I’ll be there to act as a guide on your learning. I can’t wait to meet you. Please drop a comment below for any further information on this unmissable opportunity.

Here’s the Imago Official registration page, come join us for the fun and learning.

#Imago #Relationship #Therapy #Coaching
#Imago #Relationship #Therapy #Coaching

So Are You Getting the Love You Want?

Probably not. Harville Hendrix discovered the secret to what goes wrong in our partnerships and how to heal.

It’s not you or your partner. You and your mate are simply repeating patterns of pain that began way before you met.

No wonder you feel stuck.

Having the same fight repeatedly. Yearning to feel heard and seen and connected in your relationship at a heart-centered level. It’s often the same for your partner too.

So what’s really going on?

Imago tells you why you are trapped in negativity and how to find a way out. With hope, intimacy, and heartfelt connection.

Keen to know more?

Here’s a YouTube animation summarising Harville Hendrix and his wife Helen LaKelly-Hunt in their New York Times Bestseller Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples. Thanks to @Ragwise – Read And Grow Wise. There are subtitles as the narrator has a thick accent.

A six-minute introduction to Imago Relationship Therapy and how it can help you and your partner move beyond conflict and restore connection.

What is Tantra? Have You Used It in the Bedroom?

Many couples struggle with sexual desire discrepancy, no more so than after children. While it’s an exciting time and so wonderful to have wee people. It can cause a strain on your sexual relationship. Not to mention the stresses of work, in-laws, and all the other calls for our attention.

Tantra might be your answer. So what is Tantra?

When you mention Tantra, the first thing people say is sex, which is a touch reductionist.

Classical Tantra is the study of ancient Hindu and Buddhist texts with sacred religious rituals and practices designed for spiritual awakening and connection to divinity.

Tantra was brought to the West in the early 20th Century. Modern Tantra or Neo Tantra focuses on the body and sexual energy as an instrument for ecstasy. Most of us may have heard of the Kama Sutra.

When the producer reached out to me for Tod Sampson’s new season’s documentary Mirror, Mirror discussing Tantra I was intrigued, to say the least. Coincidentally I had just watched last year’s doco with my Dad as I was a featured expert on Social Media and its impacts series.

So there I was looking into the camera trying to keep a straight face discussing Tantra and Tantric sex as an Imago Relationship psychologist and coach. Hilarious, as Mel the producer the only other woman with around 7 guys in the studio.

I digress.

There’s a hot debate on the Westernised and monetized versions of Tantric Sex like Neo-Tantra. Tropical paradise beckons for a week of self-discovery at a price. Commercialization most definitely undermines the spiritual component of Tantra.

Yet revering and honoring our bodies as sacred intuitively feels appropriate and respectful.

Bet you didn’t know some of the Tantric Sex practices aren’t dissimilar to the techniques we coach couples within our clinic. Clothes on of course.

Here are some common features supported by the science we utilize in therapy.

Eye Gazing the Look of Love

In Imago Relationship Therapy we invite partners to turn their chairs towards each other. We may ask them to hold hands and they hold a soft gaze into each other’s eyes in silence.

In this space, barriers break down. Warmth and intimacy reignite.

Many couples giggle nervously as they cross the bridge into each other’s worlds sans words. Simple and yet powerful. Partners report how it’s been ages since they really looked at their partner. Not as a parent, or as a foe, but rather as a friend, their mate.

Naturally, they feel seen and acknowledged in this safe space. Without the danger of words and thoughts escalating into an argument.

30 years of research supports sustained eye contact in increasing intimacy, greater attraction, and trust building. This loving gaze stimulates our pair bonding hormones – oxytocin and phenylethylamine or PEA.

Centring

Next, we allow space to connect to our core selves using the breath with an inhale and long exhalation. Your Imago therapist coach will guide you to deepen and extend the out-breath simultaneously. Lengthening and synchronizing our breath and connection physiologically.

Again science assists our therapy knowledge and practice.

When we are fighting, we are in our Sympathetic Nervous System – which kicks in to deal with the perceived threat in our environment. If we were to view our brains in an fMRI we would see our threat detection areas like the amygdala are activated. Our brains see our partners as attacking so our body mobilizes for action – increased heart rate and blood pressure rises.

We are in fight or flight mode. Rational thought flies out the window.

Instead, we can down-regulate our body’s alarm system, safely and naturally with longer out breathing.

Here we are tapping into our Para-Sympathetic part of us – the rest and relaxation arm of our nervous system. Long Pranayama (Yogic) breathing has been shown in numerous studies to reduce heart rate, lower blood pressure, and increase immune system responsiveness. These are all factors associated with greater life expectancy.

In Imago we encourage intimacy and play. Intimacy, sex, and orgasm are great ways to reconnect in the privacy of your own home. Tantra suggests exploring you and your partner without the goal of orgasm. Instead relishing in the journey of touch and intimacy – tapping into your largest sex organ your brain.

I wonder if you can experiment with this breathing and soft gaze in your bedroom tonight. You might enjoy what Sex Therapist and Intimacy and Desire author David Schnarch calls – electric wall socket sex with an eyes-open orgasm. Inviting all your senses into your and your partners’ connection. Be brave, bold, and respectful.

I hope you found this article helpful.

Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

Want to Learn Imago Couples Therapy Training ONLINE?

Super excited to share the wonder of Imago Relationship Therapy. This is for you if you are an individual therapist or a couples counselor wanting to add another field-proven couples therapy modality to your toolkit.

I am pleased to announce Module 1 Starts May 2nd. Please join us for two hours online weekly. NSW Australia time Tuesdays 9-11 am and USA Pacific time Monday 1, 6-8 pm. Brought to you by the Association of Imago Relationship Therapists Australia.

Book an appointment
0434 559 011
Weekdays 9am - 5pm Australian Eastern Standard Time (UTC +10)

Book an appointment

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