Blog Posts

September Springs Forth!

Hi every one a brief note to welcome you to the month of September. And our friendly challenge here at Marriage Works for your relationship entrancement.

In Sydney is in a change of season. Buds emerge to the warmer rain, green shoots appear on our trees. The hibernation is over, it is time to bloom.

As spring is all about rejuvenation and replenishing I am asking you how you can take this attitude out into your world and beyond.

Spring is in the air take up the montlhy challenge at marriageworks to refresh your relationships spring-ladybirds

How can you refresh your relationships? Be it at home, with your lover, your friends, family, work colleagues. Even the grocery store clerk.

Smile and shine. Here is my Marriage Works YouTube Channel monthly encouragement. Thanks for reading and watching! Blessings to you all. Vivaldi playing in the background for the sounds of spring if you have it xx

INFIDELITY DILEMMAS

A television producer called me today to seek my expertise in affairs. Helping couples through their pain, overwhelm and betrayal.

There are may questions we have and these need to be addressed. I have a little video on Youtube

Love to hear what your ideas are. Perhaps you have been through the trenches with your spouse and come out the other side. You can be a beacon of hope. Please feel free to add your thoughts below in the comment box. Thanks Philipa

Shine Brightly for August!

Hello all, I have just popped up the Youtube monthly challenge where I have hoping to inspire your brilliance.

Shine your bright light of love as a beacon to others and to yourself. Like attracts like. Notice what happens as a result.

let your star shoot forth !purple-690724_1920
let your star shoot forth

So the monthly challenge is to put yourself in the spotlight and illuminate the world.

I want to share with you the cutest story. Oliver Jeffers Heart in the Bottle makes me cry. So beautiful. Here it is:

Getting the Love You Want – Couples Workshop

I have just spent the last 3 days with my husband Chris attending a Character growth Imago workshop. This was with Advanced Imago Therapist Brenda Rawlings of The Imago Institute of New Zealand See here https://www.relationships.co.nz/about-us/

Now we are in luck Sydney folk!

The Couples Retreat – a 2 day weekend is here! Brenda and husband Peter are offering the Getting the Love You Want Couples workshop. Up the road in lovely Crows Nest.

Here is the link to https://www.relationships.co.nz/couples-workshop-dates-fees/ to secure your spot.

We can definitely recommend this workshop. Indeed it saved us from the brink. Please do yourself a favour and get the love you want. Your partnership is worth putting in a 2 days effort !

How not to turn people off.

Warren Buffet – is esteemed in the US and beyond. He’s made a motza on the share market and in business through canny deals. Yet he’s still living in a modest house with his wife of many years. Mr Buffet has earned wisdom and gravitas in his 80 odd years on the planet and in the Share Market.

On an interview Tom Popomarinos ( a big deal in commerce and industry in Baltimore) wrote in CNBC.com “Warren Buffet…This is what ‘sets apart a big winner from the rest of the pack.’ And I want share here those insights.

Wisdom though earned experience elephant-2992767_1920
Wisdom though earned experience

Tom’s summary :

“The big takeaway here is that if you want to be the person who is successful, who everyone wants to hire, you need to build habits of integrity.

There are a handful of ways to do that:

  • Fulfill your promises
  • Be honest
  • Be trustworthy
  • Give credit where credit is due
  • Be mindful and emotionally intuitive
  • Manifest humility
  • Be willing to admit you’re wrong
  • Offer help when it’s needed
  • Treat others with respect
  • Be charitable
  • Be patient

Intelligence and ambition are valuable traits, but even so, a lack of integrity won’t make you stand apart from the others — nor will it get you hired, at least not by Buffett.”

The above traits will make you a decent partner.

What turns people off

When you don’t keep your word. Make promises and fail to follow up. You give excuses or justifications for why. Yes, buts.. are a classic sign.

Live with integrity be good the whole way through
Live with integrity be good the whole way through

You act for yourself. You are inconsistent and unreliable. You talk big and act small. You are mean spirited unkind. Criticism. Anger. Attack the person, not the problem. Brag. You get the picture here.

I thought Warren’s advice applies equally to relationships. Wisdom trumps.

Play with love!
Wisdom though earned experience elephant-2992767_1920 tic-tac-toe-1777859_1920

What the Habits of Relationship Winner with Integrity Looks like:

  • Follow Through
  • Live in Truth
  • Show Appreciation to your Mate
  • Be humble
  • Stay Grounded
  • Show Emotional Maturity
  • Be accountable
  • Take Ownership of your part
  • Slow down
  • Live Respectfully
  • Have Faith and Charity
  • Be Helpful

I imagine you would be a ‘winner’ in the partnership stakes and in high demand. Your team – your spouse, your children would be seeing you as a leader and a valuable asset to turn to.

Image by Christine Sponchia from Pixabay Togetherness
Togetherness Image by Christine Sponchia from Pixabay

Challenge: Choose one on the list you’d like to improve and build upon. Do your best! Here I am on Marriage Works You Tube thansk!

Please let us know your thoughts, reactions in the comment box below. I will personally respond. Thank you !

Happy Bastille Day to our French Friends!

Bonjour et bien venue. Today Chris and I went to the Sydney suburb of La Perouse. La Perouse was a famous French explorer who landed in this area of Australia. there were celebrations and the tricolour flew in the icy winds.

The refrain Egalite, Liberte et Fraternite may be useful in our relationships.

What would our partnership be with equity, freedom and loving. Pretty yummy. Lucky I bought Chris an almond croissant. I know he loves them. I hope you had a happy day. xx

Relationship Enhancing in July Marriage Works Monthly Challenge

Hello all welcome to July ! I hope your June for Joy went well. Please let me know what inspired you. This month we are focusing on supporting you and your relationship.

As we are in winter it is easy to get S>A>D. SAD is a real condition called Seasonal Affective Disorder. Yes the weather can affect our moods. Of course it’s pretty normal to slow down in winter, however if you are feeling really, really bleak it might be a touch of SAD.

SAD has the same symptoms as depression – hopelessness, low in energy, irritable, slowed cognition, feeling weighted down, turning to carbs for that fix, wanting to sleep more than usual and large weight changes.

Sunlight is a natural cure for S.A.D - get some today if you can!
Sunlight is a natural cure for S.A.D – get some today if you can!

The theory is low levels of sunlight are not getting through to our hypothalamus. We need sunlight for our sleep wake cycle which relies on the hormone melatonin. Getting out into the sun is how this happens. So go out in the day and get your vitamin D for free!

Here is me on Youtube

https://youtu.be/fRmRDM0GZTo

Thoughts on Why Millenials are Cheating Less…

Have you ever wondered about Generation Y? What is happening to those of us born into into the 1990’s ? How are their relationships faring in the today’s turmoil?

That’s exactly what my journalist friend Natalie Reilly was pondering. She has discovered they are rejecting the sexual revolution’s children’s values ( their parents!) in favour of old fashioned morals. Especially when it comes to infidelity and divorce.

That's exactly what my journalist friend Natalie Reilly was pondering. She has discovered they are rejecting the sexual revolution's children's values in favour of old fashioned morals. Especially when it comes to infidelity and divorce.
80’s and 90’s kids are making careful selections and sticking with their mates.

Millenials don’t appear to be following in the footsteps of their forebears. They are staying together and working on themselves and their partnerships. They are rejecting divorce.

Here is the article from the Sydney Morning Herald with my views on why this is occurring in marriage land. https://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/life-and-relationships/rejecting-our-forebears-values-why-millennials-are-cheating-less-20190509-p51lmj.html

Many of my clients have witnessed the destruction of marriage first hand. They want to avoid the despair of separation at all costs.

This doesn’t mean they will put up and shut up about unhelpful behaviours though. They are active participants in their partnerships.

In my experience they come my therapy office with the attitude of “this isn’t working , what can we do to improve…” They are in the best possible head space. Recognition increases the likelihood of great results. A can do attitude makes them Olympian relay teammates. And let’s face it you want to have your mate who’s prepared to run the lifetime marathon race with you. Ideal in long term partnerships and lengthy marriages.

Could Millenials be responsible for a change and downturn in the divorce statistics? Time will tell and I’ll be writing more soon!

Love to hear from Millenials and all gen’s – please write a comment below. Please share via text email and social media for those this might help – especially if they are going through a trial in their connection. It’s Work that Makes Marriages and Relationship Work! All we need is to bring a smile and our joy to that toil 🙂

Thanks for reading! Yours in Love and Relationship Success xox Philipa

Couple Coaching Helps -Don’t Leave It Too Late!

The best thing you can do for your relationship health and well being is to come in early. Relationships can be repaired. It is so much easier and quicker to learn new ways or communicating and relating before hard core patterns of hurt set in. Waiting for change won’t work and the alternative where there is a breakdown or a crisis like an affair will double or even treble the time, energy and money you will have to channel into your couple therapy.

Not only does all the research confirm this commonsense tells you the truth here. Come in before your spouse says they don’t love you or it’s over.

Why wait for that pain?

Perhaps you have already heard those words. Come in and improve your partnership today I have a quick 4 minute video here encouraging you to take action and save yourself heartache and pain plus money !

Make the call today – take action!

You want this to be a beautiful version of your future – look at this couple.

Live in love together to a ripe age and stage having fun in your marriage.
Live in love together to a ripe age and stage having fun in your marriage.