๐ŸŒท June Monthly Challenge – Share Kindness ๐Ÿ’ž ๐Ÿฅฐ

Welcome back to the Marriage Works Monthly Challenge Series. This is really a call to action to encourage share your positive parts to the world. This is for you no matter what your relationship status.

This month as we start to unfurl from lockdown’s, COVID 19 restrictions I ask you to share your kindness.

For some of us, this will be anxiety-provoking, possibly overwhelm, for others of us it may be a relief.

Whatever your reaction is, know it is all within the normal range to an abnormal situation.

Our partners can have their unique reactions to this so please be mindful and generous to their experiences.

So please share kindness. ๐Ÿค—

I am a kiwi at home in Sydney (New Zealander for those who don’t know the euphemism). Being from a small town Thames it’s natural to say Hi and smile at folks when we are out and about. This can be such a goodwill gesture and often rewarded in kind.

Start with small.

Sometimes we have the opportunity to do more. I have had a friend who unexpectedly ended up in hospital. She called and I was able to get her clothes, supplies, feed her cat Izzy and support her. She is out now of danger and things are improving thank goodness.

Here’s the YouTube Marriage Works Channel video on Sharing kindness ๐Ÿšธ Hear how I responded when a lady got anxious and told me off at the mall.

Here is the link https://youtu.be/kc_tMcscQu8

As I believe a joy shared is doubled and you will inspire others with your positive deeds. It’s feel-good all round.๐Ÿ‘ ๐Ÿ˜

PS. Love to hear how your kindness sharing went, please drop a comment in the box below. Please pass on to others who may benefit.๐Ÿงก ๐Ÿ’›

April – No Monthly Challenge

Hi lovely relationship workers. It’s way into April and I have not been in touch, so sorry!

I do hope you and your loved ones are taking these unusual times with COVID 19 in your stride.

Here in Sydney at least the weather is beautiful and we can go for walks. I really miss going out to dinner, catching up with friends, the movies, and the beach.

In some ways the pace has slowed but in others the workload has increased for me – how about you guys?

There is no monthly challenge here from me at Marriage Works, as I believe these times are tough enough already.

All I hope is you offer your kind self both to yourself and others. Please reach out if you are on your lonesome.

Be gentle with each other, limit the analysis of stuck patterns for a while.

Go easy.

It’s super easy for stress and close proximity to make us tetchy. I know when I am tired I can be cranky, ask Chris!

The good thing though if I snap, he mostly won’t go there and vice versa. But it does happen.

Only watch the Tiger King - don't become one !
Only watch the Tiger King on Netflix- don’t become one !

We are a bit like the caged Tigers in Tiger King.

My daughter sent me an Instagram add on where your picture can have the Joe Exotic features – blonde mullet, handlebar moustache and camouflage clothing. Hilarious and no I am not putting that pic of me up!

Yep, Netflix and Prime have been things that keep the pressure low.

What’s your favourite shows or movies? Love your recommendations.

Hang out with your partner and rediscover yourselves

Yesterday at the park we were watching children scooting around on their trikes. I learnt my husband Chris did not have a bicycle as a child. He did have a skate board – home made with metal wheels! How beautiful to share.

So go well, be kind and keep your immune system strong. Use this time to get to know your partner again in a slowed down world.

Please share your positive experiences in the comments box belong or Netflix recommends! With love and light xox

March Monthly Inspiration – Mirroring and a Couples Quiz.

Welcome to the March 2020 monthly relationship inspiration from Marriage works.

I’ve come straight from Yoga. Where my teacher got us to close our eyes and see what you don’t see, with your body, your mind and the people around you.

I loved this. Super hard in warrior three, standing in a t shape balancing on one leg. Wobbly!

It’s easy to miss what we see every day as we share our lives with our partners.

Familiarity cheats us. We get ever so slightly lazy in our thinking. Our mind leaps to the past, assumptions quickly jump in.

So I am asking you this month, in all your relationships to “See what you don’t see and hear what you don’t hear”.


Stay curious.

One vital tool Chris my husband and I use in our couple coaching is the Imago couple dialogue’s mirroring.

Mirroring is where we reflect back our partners sentences and tone, to ensure acknowledgement and validation.

It’s pretty much saying repeating our partners words back to them, with the same energy. It’s magical being acknowledged this way.

When your partner does this for you it’s super supportive.

Use this mirroring tool. Perhaps staying with the most important words.

When we mirror our partners responses we will feel really attuned and in stride with each other like these beautiful horses
When we mirror our partners responses we will feel really attuned and in stride with each other like these beautiful horses


Chris and also found this couples quiz. We had great fun last night.

Good news we know each other well. I still learnt something new.

You answer the questions and see how it fits.


I chose at random one of the cards to read out on : Marriage Works YouTube Channel

Listen if you want my answers. Here are the questions as promised in the video:

How well do you know each other?


Which celebrity does your partner think they most look like?


Who tells the best jokes?


Who takes longer to get ready?


What is your partners favorite band of all time?
I got this wrong it’s not Led Zeppelin! https://youtu.be/NrBNOe15_qQ


Does your partner prefer cats or d
ogs?

Love to hear how you found this cute quiz. Please share your answers to encourage us!

https://youtu.be/NrBNOe15_qQ

Please Visit us  https://MarriageWorks.com.au for Relationship Coaching, Saving Your Marriage From Divorce โ€“ The Last Resort Technique, Healing Your Heart for Partnership and loads more advice and  information.

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Happy December! Monthly Challenge -You Year Review.

Welcome to the month of December. I am a bit late guys sorry. I’ve been under the weather, doing renovations and the Christmas counselling rush which started in November is on.

Christmas time is family time.

December is the month which ushers us into the new year. Loving the ring of 2020, a new decade. This month is an ending of our 12. A good time to do a review.

Looking back in the mirror, how did you do?

  • What goals did you make?
  • What did you start?
  • What did you finish?
  • How is your health?
  • How is your relationship tracking?
  • What are your most proud of?
  • What are you least proud of?
  • How can you use the above to inspire yourself and take action/
Useful to reflect on things

This years goals for me were pretty huge. Chris and I bought an apartment. I started renovations and my goodness I hope they finish soon.

What keeps you on your perch?
What keeps you on your perch?

Health wise walking and dancing are a great thing. I am working on using mother natures guide bypassing intellect and using instinct to eat what my body tells me. Living food like carrots as opposed to chips.

My marriage has had trials with the property search that started in May. This and financial togetherness, organising a project brings out the best parts and occasionally cranky parts.

The loss of Taneisha has brought us closer. Watch this space as Yoda arrives for xmas.

Least proud of yelling at Chris, when I was tired and overwrought.

Useful to reflect on things Not me, but a cranky part is in the house

Proud of managing so many things. Buying and selling properties all in the last six weeks. It’s been a blitz.

Running Resource Therapy workshops and building them for next year in Bali in July. Overseas training is a huge undertaking.

Love to hear your lists and thoughts. So make this monthly challenge a review from the above. Remember it is more powerful putting pen to paper.

Please drop a line in the comments box and let us know xx Thanks for reading.

Yours in gratitude Philipa

What's decorating your life as you review the year?
What’s decorating your life as you review the year?

Thanks Giving ! Happy November MonthlyChallenge.

We want treats not tricks! Halloween is fun bring back playfulness in your relationships

Apologies a day late! The other night was Halloween, Chris and I saw lots of cherubs dressed up as monsters with bags for trick or treating. I think it’s fun. We are influenced by other cultures and it’s nice to adopt some of the playfulness of other countries. So this month I turn to America for the tradition of Thanks Giving.
This day is November 25th. Years ago I spent Thanks Giving at an American friends place with their family. We had a lovely meal and each went around the table saying what we were thankful for. It felt so good, deep heartwarming joy! Sorry to my my US readers, not a fan of pumpkin pie.

A smile sends thanks so well.


As we know what we focus on we get more of – the psychological law of attraction, the theory of ironic process from the research of Daniel Wegner for those who like the academic information – https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/8121959.

For me, I truly want more of the positive in my life and for my loved ones. Sharing thankfulness and acknowledgement multiplies joy. As super guru Oprah Winfrey and other successful people attest gratitude is powerful.

He brings a smile with his joy at being in the world
He brings a smile with his joy at being in the world

So this month I invite you to share your appreciation, acknowledge your gratitude and express thanks to your spouse, your friends, even a stranger in word and deed. Take action and make November your month of Thanks. Love to hear how you went and what you experienced sharing your gratitude around.

Thank you for watching Marriage Works YouTube and reading my blog. with love and appreciation Philipa Thornton
Marriage Works on YouTube

Thanks for watching, please share on social media, email to others who may benefit from this information.
Yours in Gratitude Phillipa
With all the information you need know

September Springs Forth!

Hi every one a brief note to welcome you to the month of September. And our friendly challenge here at Marriage Works for your relationship entrancement.

In Sydney is in a change of season. Buds emerge to the warmer rain, green shoots appear on our trees. The hibernation is over, it is time to bloom.

As spring is all about rejuvenation and replenishing I am asking you how you can take this attitude out into your world and beyond.

Spring is in the air take up the montlhy challenge at marriageworks to refresh your relationships spring-ladybirds

How can you refresh your relationships? Be it at home, with your lover, your friends, family, work colleagues. Even the grocery store clerk.

Smile and shine. Here is my Marriage Works YouTube Channel monthly encouragement. Thanks for reading and watching! Blessings to you all. Vivaldi playing in the background for the sounds of spring if you have it xx

Relationship Enhancing in July Marriage Works Monthly Challenge

Hello all welcome to July ! I hope your June for Joy went well. Please let me know what inspired you. This month we are focusing on supporting you and your relationship.

As we are in winter it is easy to get S>A>D. SAD is a real condition called Seasonal Affective Disorder. Yes the weather can affect our moods. Of course it’s pretty normal to slow down in winter, however if you are feeling really, really bleak it might be a touch of SAD.

SAD has the same symptoms as depression – hopelessness, low in energy, irritable, slowed cognition, feeling weighted down, turning to carbs for that fix, wanting to sleep more than usual and large weight changes.

Sunlight is a natural cure for S.A.D - get some today if you can!
Sunlight is a natural cure for S.A.D – get some today if you can!

The theory is low levels of sunlight are not getting through to our hypothalamus. We need sunlight for our sleep wake cycle which relies on the hormone melatonin. Getting out into the sun is how this happens. So go out in the day and get your vitamin D for free!

Here is me on Youtube

https://youtu.be/fRmRDM0GZTo

Zero Negativity! Your May Monthly Relationship Challenge

Welcome to May! Here in Sydney it’s Autumn and the darkness comes early. We’ve been blessed with lovely weather and sunny days as we have had Easter and Anzac Day to honour our war veterans.

May in Sydney from Marriage Works

This month I have been inspired to offer you the opportunity to say no to negativity in your relationship. As John Gottman -a legend in marital research and divorce saving techniques rightly points out criticism is toxic in partnershps and they believe it takes a 5:1 ratio of good comments to over come one negative one.

Make it Zero Negativity in your partnership for the month of May!

So give yourself a break and make it Zero! If you find yourself complaining remind yourself of what you are truly grateful in your marriage. For me I look at Chris and I feel gratitude at having a life companion, someone I enjoy spending time with. He’s a good kind husband.

So take the month of May Relationship Challenge and join me for Zero Negativity and increased positivity!

Love to hear your thoughts, ask your partner to join you or be a solo leader in deed. Please pass on the help by sharing.

Happy couple sharing their love and joy!

Here is my YouTube video for May :

https://youtu.be/wNp9eHZZmh

What are you going to say Yes to?

Hello and welcome to April, we here in Australia are starting to notice it’s darker earlier and the sun rises later for our autumn. In Japan it’s spring time the magical bursting forth of sakura -cherry blossoms.

Sakura - cherry blossoms open and say yes to the bees to bear fruit
Sakura – cherry blossoms open and say yes to the bees to bear fruit

This month I am inspired by the movie starring Jim Carey – The Yes Man. Jim plays a negative nelson saying no to everything. He has an awakening at a self help seminar and starts saying yes a 100 percent of the time. He gets a promotion, he gets the girl and we get some laughs along the way.

So I want to challenge you to say YES! With enthusiasm, and guilt free. The only proviso is it must do no harm to either yourself or your loved ones. I know you know what I mean. Act out of your integrity and values. We know from the tons of research out there in positive psychology having a positive mental attitude allows us to be bold and blossom like the cherry blooms.

Not the autumn hues of Sydney
Not the autumn hues of Sydney!

So the monthly April challenge is for you to say Yes and apply this yes in your relationships.

So if your spouse asks you to clear the table, you say Yes wholeheartedly and do it. This will be especially powerful if you say yes and have taken a while to follow through in the past.

If your partner wants intimacy – respond affirmatively bring in enthusiasm and gain stress relief and aliveness in your marriage.

When your children ask for help on their homework respond with yes and go straight to their side. No excuses really show up. You don’t need to know exactly what to do but be present and work together. Valuable.

With the Yes you have to make the action to back yourself up.

Join us in the Monthly Challenge – begin with your first Yes today.

Love to hear your experience, ideas and feedback on your progress, I will check in.

Please leave a comment and why not share this with your partner or a friend.

Say Yes, take Action and Smile While Doing!
Say Yes, take Action and Smile While Doing!