” I just can’t get over her.” Psychology Consultation and relationship counselling with Mike. Mike rang in a desperate state, he was in tears, choking up on the phone to me. He wanted an urgent appointment for relationship counselling. His doctor referred him to our psychology practice.
A particularly gorgeous woman had captured Mike’s heart. Mike had fallen in love again and he was sure this lady was the ‘ONE’. He wanted the white picket fence, a loving marriage and children. Unfortunately she wasn’t ready. Sadly she had found love in anothers arms.
The was the story of Mike’s dating life. Mike felt trapped in emotional turmoil. Intellectually he knew it was over, and yet emotionally he was entrapped.
He was caught in the distress and confusion of unrequitted love. Mike just couldn’t understand why this painful pattern in his relationships was repeating in his life.
The women he dated who wanted him, he would cast aside. The ones he called ‘bad’ girls he just couldn’t seem to get enough of. Failed relationships and despair were a stark contrast to the successful business owner Mike is.
The reality is relationship success isn’t usually learnt in our families. Many of us have grown up seeing unhelpful and even hurtful communication patterns. It is no surprise when we go on to repeat these dynamics in our adult lives.
Mike was determined to get past this latest relationship breakdown and make a breakthrough. He didn’t want to take the antidepressant medication his GP prescribed as it made him feel funny and non sexual.
With the power of Resource Therapy and in our fourth session Mike had his aha moments.
He rang me saying he didn’t need to come back for the next session He told me he felt at peace within himself and with his previous partner. He thought he was ready to find a person with the same dreams and his equal to share his life with. He was excited and happy to free of the past.
More to come soon! Thanks
Penny’s emotional pain and problem drinking become a thing of the past with relationship coaching sessions.
Penny’s tears rolled down her cheeks in dollops as she told me of her relationship with Jeremy. Penny said things started out fairly well until he moved in. Her self esteem plummeted as she wilted under the lash of Jeremy’s razor sharp wit.
Dabbing her eyes Penny looks over the tissue and said “I finally ended it but know I am worried this might have been my last chance for happiness.” ” And now all I do is come home from work and open a bottle of wine to drown my sorrows.”
Penny had given up on herself and had lost hope in the dating scene wary of finding herself with another Jeremy. The last few dates had been disasters only reinforcing her negative beliefs about men.
Resolving Penny’s fear of intimacy and poor partner choice.
Using Resource Therapy we found the distressed little girl part of Penny. This 6 year old part who’s pain and fear from her parents arguing and eventual divorce prevented Penny progressing to healthy choices in partners.
When Penny returned she said to me she was surprised as her drinking had stopped being a nightly occurrence and she was feeling better within herself.
When I asked her what she was ready to change since her last session she said she ” I really want to believe in myself.” A wonderful goal I replied. Again Resource Therapy to the rescue.
Penny and I located several Resource States from early childhood. One little girl part felt like the fat kid and had been bullied in school. Using Resource Therapy Actions we empowered this little girl part and freed her to be loved on this inside with a nurturing Resource State. I love the relief this brings to a Resource who once felt sad and rejected and was now feeling unconditionally loved and accepted. A definite self esteem repair here.
When we did an check of our work another teenage part of Penny’s came to the surface with it’s insecurities.
Penny was part of the ahtletic team and felt small, uncoordinated and downright daggy in her school uniform athletic gear. Penny felt embarrassed and exposed wearing only a tiny singlet and big knickers. Penny felt the other girls on the team were critisicing and judging her. When we did the imaginal work, it was enlightening for Penny to hear the other girls absolutely hated the uniform too and thought she was an amazing and valuable part of the team. This was cathartic to Penny and the icing on the cake was when Penny re-imagined all the team in pink frilly skirts!
Penny was beaming at the end of the session. Penny said ” I believe in me, I am valuable.”
Penny tells me she is having fun on Tinder, Plenty of Fish and Bumble. And while she hasn’t found her match, she smiles as she says she is enjoying exploring her options!