How to Tell When Your Loved One Needs Help for Addiction

A huge thanks to Bethany Hatton for our guest article on addiction:

ADrugRehab.org states, “Addiction is tricky and calculating, and it’s the only disease that can take more than one person down with it, if it is left unchallenged. Addiction dramatically alters the lives of not just the addicted person, but of everyone within his or her vicinity, namely family and friends.”

Addiction in Australia

Millions of Australians are affected by drug addiction and alcohol dependency, either directly or indirectly. There are dozens of different drugs that can have a significant impact on a person’s life. ABC reports that the number of drug overdose deaths in the country has risen to the highest levels in nearly 20 years. It can be difficult, however, to determine if your loved one has a drug problem because different drugs have different symptoms, and people react to drugs in ways unique to them.

Identifying a substance abuse problem

Addiction to anything, whether it is drugs, sex, gambling, or food, can leave a person feeling socially isolated. According to ReachOut.com, a few social signs of a substance abuse problem include:

  • Avoiding non-users becoming isiolated
  • Feeling uncomfortable when unable to access their drug of choice
  • Lying
  • Relationship problems
  • Job loss
  • Going into debt to fund habit
  • Stealing

Other indications include:

  • Anxiety attacks
  • Irritability
  • Poor attention span
  • Depression, often severe
  • Impotence
  • Declining health, specifically heart problems
  • Psychosis

If you suspect that a friend or family member has an alcohol or drug problem, the first step is to help them recognize and admit it. Understand that you cannot force them to undergo treatment, but they may be more willing to get help if they are sure that they have a strong support network. Once they are willing to consider treatment, reach out to their doctor or healthcare provider.

The end goal of drug treatment is for the user to have the self-control their use if possible or to avoid taking drugs in the first place. But quitting cold turkey can be very tough and is often not a good idea. Withdrawal, the body’s response to craving a specific substance, can have debilitating symptoms including high blood pressure, anxiety, and shakiness. A person with an addiction to alcohol or a benzodiazepine, such as Valium, may even be at risk of death due to a sudden shock to the system if they quit using unexpectedly. The National Drug & Alcohol Research Centre in Sydney reports that opiate withdrawal, which was previously believed to be non-life-threatening, can result in death due to dehydration caused by vomiting and diarrhea.

Approaching an addicted person

Opening up a line of communication is an important part of helping your friend or family member seek treatment for their addiction. PositiveChoices.org.au explains that you must prepare ahead of time, however, before beginning the conversation about substance abuse. Gather information about the drug and decide exactly what you want to say about how you feel that the drugs have affected your loved one’s life. Come at them with compassion but be ready for some push back and negative reactions. More than anything, stay calm and be willing to listen to what they have to say. If you are intimidated or believe approaching them on your own may put you at risk, have a friend, family member, or mental health professional join you. You could also work with other close friends or family members to stage an intervention.

Type of treatment

There are dozens of residential treatment centres throughout Australia and even more outpatient facilities that can help. Long-term treatment, those programs designed to last between six and 12 months, offer 24-hour care and begin with a thorough medical detox. Community counselliing and support groups are also of offer.

Throughout treatment, patients are taught both how to live independent of chemical dependency and how to reenter society in recovery. The type of treatment your friend or relative seeks will be dictated by number of factors including their willingness to undergo treatment, time constraints, and finances.

For more information on alcohol and drug treatment, contact the Alcohol and Drug Foundation at 1300 85 85 84, your doctor or a psychologist. If it is a life-threatening emergency, call 000 or seek immediate medical intervention.

There are lots of resources out there to help you and your family members affected by drug or alcohol or other addictions
There are lots of resources out there to help you and your family members affected by drug,  alcohol or other addictions

 

Happy Easter from Down Under 2018!

Last updated on April 16th, 2018 at 11:40 am

In Australia we are approaching Easter, a significant religious holiday for many. While I am do not belong to any church custom, I do a respect folks observances and their special traditions associated with this holy time.

When we were kids in New Zealand our TV stations played the Biblical hits. Truly this was this (with the greatest respect) where I received my religious education.

Watching Charlton Heston part the Red Sea in the 1956 tribute The Ten Commandments, was awe inspiring and still is.

Charlton Heston with Ronald Reagan. He played a great Moses
Charlton Heston with Ronald Reagan. Mr Heston played a great Moses, I look forward to seeing him again.

I will be getting the DVD down from the shelves. Yes I own it.

Despite not coming from a Christian background I do believe the Ten Commandments area useful guide to live by.
Despite not coming from a Christian background I do believe the Ten Commandments are a useful guide to live by.

Easter isn’t just about eggs and chocolates. Yes I do indulge in the brown delicious sweet!

Easter eggs are a fun and yummy chocolate treat
Easter eggs are a fun and yummy chocolate treat.

I like to use it a a time for reflection.

It is a time where I am not working. What has passed in my life, people, habits or old beliefs? The death of things that not longer support me or help me grow. These can be a simple as changing an exercise routine.

It is an opportunity to bring about change with the ‘rising’. I ask how can I encourage and support myself and others to be their greatness? What works do I need to achieve in my mission of service?

How would you apply this to your relationship?

What do you need to do inspire for your partner? Is there anything you can do to enliven your partnership? Put some thought into it. Love to hear what you came up with and how it helped. Pop a comment in the box below.

With love and light,

Philipa

Chocolate Lindt Bunny anyone?
Bunny Love xox

Husbands Who Help Get More Bedroom Action Study Finds

Last updated on February 12th, 2015 at 01:37 pm

Cloth Clips Alessandra Favetto alessandrafavetto.com
Research shows men – more chores you do, more sex you get. Photo credit: Alessandra Favetto, Spain

This morning I spoke to John Stanley and Garry Linnell of 2UE’s breakfast show on this very topic – the division of labour in the household. Interestingly Garry said he actually does most of the housework.

He is more enlightened than most, as around 70% of household duties in a partnership are still performed by women.

Research to the rescue, guys – Neil Chethik’s study VoiceMale: What husbands really think about their marriages, their wives, sex, housework and commitment found the more housework husbands did, the more sex they were having with their wives. De Facto couples do not despair, as I imagine similar correlations are apparent as men perform more household duties – please let me know if this is the case.

Curious to think what may be behind this? Perhaps as women are freed up from the kitchen sink it brings out their wild side. Or they may have more energy to offer up in the bedroom?

So guys the sum of this is the more chores you, do the more sex you will get!

Read on for help if you are stuck in a hopeless battle in the chore wars in your relationship.  Continue reading Husbands Who Help Get More Bedroom Action Study Finds

Will you make this the Silly Season?

Last updated on February 12th, 2015 at 01:30 pm

I write that question as a challenge and want to know how you might answer.

It is December 2014 – Christmas time. Many parties and celebrations are planned.

They do call it the silly season. Office drinks can turn into impromptu embraces and stolen kisses under the influence and more (read between the sheets!).

What I want to know is how will you protect your marriage from a whoops moment that felt good at the time but now fills you with regret or worse confusion.

Be aware and hold onto your integrity. Read on for ideas on how to do this please click here… Continue reading Will you make this the Silly Season?

Is blame helping you deal with the affair or your relationship?

Last updated on February 12th, 2015 at 01:26 pm

It’s not unusual to feel a need to blame your ex-partner for a relationship that ended or your current spouse if there has been a breach in the relationship say in the case of an affair.

The problem with taking this position is it keeps you stuck and unable to move forward.

Blame is a negative, heavy emotion that will sink your happiness and block possibilities for recovery.

Blame keeps you connected to either the past marriage or the current hurt. It blocks healthy healing and learning.

Maybe this is sounding a little like where you are right now or you know of a good friend, your sister who’s only focus is on their partner’s wrongs ?
While they may have a good point you are past hearing about it and feel stuck and powerless also.

So what if you are ready to change and move beyond the blame cycle? Please read on by clicking here… Continue reading Is blame helping you deal with the affair or your relationship?

Marriage Works now has more counselling appointments on offer!

Last updated on February 12th, 2015 at 12:46 pm

Believe or not seeking professional marital help is becoming the preferred option earlier and being acknowledged as best practice by our federal leaders.

The government has recognised this and committed a budget of $20 million dollars in a relationship-strengthening trial program to prevent divorce and separation.

I’m all for strengthening relationships!

As of now, July 2014 you can visit http://www.dss.gov.au/our-responsibilities/families-and-children/programs-services/stronger-relationships-trial

Where the Department of Social Services is offering a one of $200 payment for couple to for counselling and education session.

There are 100,000 therapy sessions, open to all committed couples be they married for years, or seeking pre-marriage counselling, are newlyweds, defacto couples, and is non discriminatory being open for same-sex couples.

WARNING READ MORE… Continue reading Marriage Works now has more counselling appointments on offer!

Can you love again after infidelity?

Last updated on February 12th, 2015 at 10:56 am

I read a piece in Sunday Life magazine called “Beloved Infidel”, where one woman took what was arguably the more difficult road after her husband had an affair – she took him back.

This inspired me as a relationship therapist.

Continue reading Can you love again after infidelity?

Discovered an affair? The Number 1 Mistake you don’t want to make

Last updated on February 12th, 2015 at 08:57 am

Finding out your partner has been unfaithful is a shock.
Whether you had suspicions about your mate or were completely unaware.

Don’t make the number 1 mistake by letting strong emotions rule your decisions about your marriage. Please read on to find out more. Continue reading Discovered an affair? The Number 1 Mistake you don’t want to make

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