It’s not unusual to feel a need to blame your ex-partner for a relationship that ended or your current spouse if there has been a breach in the relationship say in the case of an affair.
The problem with taking this position is it keeps you stuck and unable to move forward.
Blame is a negative, heavy emotion that will sink your happiness and block possibilities for recovery.
Blame keeps you connected to either the past marriage or the current hurt. It blocks healthy healing and learning.
Maybe this is sounding a little like where you are right now or you know of a good friend, your sister who’s only focus is on their partner’s wrongs ?
While they may have a good point you are past hearing about it and feel stuck and powerless also.
So what if you are ready to change and move beyond the blame cycle? Please read on by clicking here…
Moving beyond relationship blame has to be an intellectual decision, where you confront yourself and get real with what you want.
Even asking yourself could I be blocking myself from living my life and taking advantage of opportunities, makes a great start.
This decision needs to come from your head first, then you are giving you choices in your life and a freer headspace for your happier future.
Remember there is a huge difference between intellectually knowing something was wrong and feeling blame.
We know intellectually when our child has done something wrong and we do this without holding blame toward that child. The head and the heart have the ability to make distinctions.
It’s great to look at the end of a relationship and on a head level understand that your husband or wife may not have done everything right (acknowledge this for yourself). Indeed they may have done some things very wrong, but in the same moment not persist with an emotional connection to that person (or affair partner) through active blame.
Blame is often a part of us that is deeply disappointed. It can be turned outward towards another or inward where it hurts you. In order to move forward make an intellectual decision to move forward and drop the emotional connection.
The good thing is it is very possible to do this. Once you have made the decision.
If you need some help I recommend finding an experienced therapist trained in Resource Therapy. They will help you let go of those heavy blame feelings. Usually people feel a sense of relief and lighter after a session (yes about one session is all it may take!) to resolve this and get you back into life and love if you are in a continuing relationship or for your future.
You deserve true freedom! Claim it now.