By Philipa Thornton | MarriageWorks.com.au
You may have seen the viral kiss-cam clip from a Coldplay concert. A couple is caught on screen. Instead of leaning in, they freeze. Pull away. Their faces say it all—shock, fear, panic.
Social media lit up with theories. Was it an affair? A secret? A mistake caught live?
As a couples therapist, I saw something deeper:
A trauma response.
A nervous system overwhelmed.
A moment where the body said, “This is not safe.”
Because when trust is broken—publicly or privately—it can feel like an emotional earthquake.
🧠 Betrayal, Infidelity, and Secrets Can Mimic PTSD Symptoms
You do not need to go to war to experience trauma.
You only need to feel helpless, unsafe, or deeply hurt.
In relationships, this can look like:
- Flashbacks or obsessive thoughts about what happened
- Difficulty sleeping or eating
- A constant feeling of walking on eggshells
- Feeling numb, frozen, or overly reactive
- Panic, dread, or emotional shutdown when triggered
These are not “overreactions”—they are your nervous system trying to protect you.
💬 “Why Can’t I Just Get Over It?”
I hear this all the time in my practice.
You may love your partner and still feel unsafe.
You may desperately want to move forward—but feel stuck in replay, confusion, or mistrust.
That is not weakness.
That is a trauma wound, calling for care—not criticism.
Whether it was a betrayal, infidelity, emotional withdrawal, or a rupture you cannot name—your pain is valid. And repair is possible.
🪷 The Healing Power of Therapy and Couples Work
When a relationship injury happens, many couples do not know how to repair it, especially when both are hurting.
That is where therapy or a workshop can help you:
- Understand and name what happened (and what it meant to each of you)
- Learn how to regulate intense emotions and triggers
- Rebuild emotional safety, one interaction at a time
- Create new ways of connecting with honesty and care
Therapy provides a safe, structured space for your nervous systems to settle—and for your hearts to open again.
💛 Your Pain Is Real. And So Is the Possibility of Repair.
If the kiss-cam story hit a nerve for you…
If you are still carrying the aftershocks of betrayal, secrecy, or silence…
Please know this:
You are not broken. And you are not alone.
With support, couples can navigate even the deepest pain toward trust, truth, and emotional reconnection.
If you are ready to begin, Chris and I are here.
Reach out today by calling or emailing us. We are here for you.
