They’re not in crisis.
No affairs. No dramatic blow-ups. No talk of separation.
From the outside, they look like a solid couple. They work, parent, manage life, and get through the week. There’s care, loyalty, and shared history.
Yet somewhere along the way, the aliveness between them has faded.
Evenings are quieter than they used to be. Conversations stay practical. Touch is brief. Intimacy feels awkward or effortful.
When they try to talk about it, the conversation goes in circles, or one of them shuts down.
Eventually, one of them says it out loud:
“We love each other, but something is missing.”
This is a composite couple, drawn from the many couples who come to this work. And if this sounds familiar, you’re not alone.
Why talking harder hasn’t worked
Most couples in this place have already tried.
They’ve had “the talk”.
They’ve promised to try harder.
They’ve read articles or listened to podcasts.
And yet, nothing really shifts.
That’s because disconnection isn’t usually a communication problem. It’s a relational safety problem.
Over time, small hurts accumulate. Moments of feeling unseen or misunderstood don’t quite get repaired. Each partner adapts in quiet ways – withdrawing a little, pleasing a little more, avoiding certain topics, protecting themselves from disappointment.
No one is doing anything wrong. They’re doing what humans do when closeness starts to feel risky.
Love is still there. But safety has thinned.
The insight behind the Getting the Love You Want Imago approach
The Getting the Love You Want workshop is grounded in Imago Relationship Therapy, a relationship model developed over four decades ago.
Imago began with a deceptively simple question:
Why do loving relationships so often get stuck in the same painful patterns?
The answer was both relieving and confronting.
According to Imago, we are unconsciously drawn to partners who reflect not only the best of what we knew growing up, but also the unresolved emotional wounds. Not because we enjoy pain, but because our nervous system is seeking growth, repair, and completion.
This explains something many couples quietly struggle with:
Why the person you love most can also trigger you most.
Why the same arguments repeat, even with good intentions.
Why trying harder doesn’t necessarily create closeness.
Rather than seeing conflict as failure, Imago reframes it as a signal – an invitation to slow down, listen differently, and rebuild connection with intention.
From a therapy model to a global relationship movement
What began in therapy rooms quickly grew into a global approach to relationship repair and growth.
Imago Relationship Therapy is now practised in nearly 50 countries, with thousands of trained professionals supporting couples worldwide. The book Getting the Love You Want became an international bestseller because it offered something many couples had never experienced before:
A way to understand why they were stuck
A structure for difficult conversations
And a path back to connection without blame
Today, the Getting the Love You Want workshop is one of the most widely attended relationship workshops in the world, offered across the US, UK, Europe, and Australia.
Not because it promises perfection – but because it creates safety.
Why the workshop format works so well
Many couples arrive having already tried counselling or “talking it through” on their own.
What’s different about this workshop is the container.
It’s not group therapy.
It’s not about sharing your story publicly.
It’s a private, structured, two-day experience where you work primarily one-to-one with your partner, guided through a clear process that helps you:
- Slow conversations down so they don’t escalate
- Feel heard without defensiveness
- Speak without blame or shutdown
- Understand what’s happening beneath the surface
- Rebuild safety, step by step
Most of the work happens between the two of you. Sharing with the group is always optional.
Couples often say the workshop creates a different kind of shift because you’re not dipping in and out of the work. You’re immersed. Supported. Contained.
Instead of analysing your relationship, you experience being listened to differently.
And that experience is what creates change.
“We’re not in crisis – is this still for us?”
One of the biggest myths about relationship support is that you need to be at breaking point.
In reality, many couples attend the Getting the Love You Want workshop at exactly the point where things are still intact, but connection is thinning.
They’re committed. They care. They just don’t feel met anymore.
This is often the most powerful moment to intervene.
Because rebuilding connection is far easier than repairing damage done by years of emotional distance, resentment, or quiet loneliness.
An invitation to choose each other again
If you recognised yourself in this story – loving each other, functioning well, but sensing that something essential is missing – this is your gentle nudge.
The Getting the Love You Want relationship workshop is running 7–8 March in Crows Nest, Sydney.
It’s private.
It’s structured.
And it’s designed for couples who want to reconnect before disconnection becomes the norm.
You don’t need to be in crisis.
You just need to be willing to slow down and choose each other again.
👉 Learn more and secure your place here:
Getting the Love You Want workshop – Sydney
If you’re unsure whether this workshop is right for you, you’re welcome to reach out with questions. Sometimes the first step is simply asking.