In a world that often feels uncertain and heavy, your relationship can become a safe harbour. When the seas are stormy, it’s easy for the stressed, anxious, or serious parts of us to grab the wheel. Yet, beneath the surface, your joyful, playful, and hopeful states are still there — waiting to be invited back on deck.
From an Imago perspective, we care deeply about the issues that divide couples — conflict, disconnection, or unhealed hurts. But just as important is rekindling joy and nurturing the parts of us that celebrate, laugh, and feel most alive. Without joy, repair doesn’t last. Without rituals, love feels adrift.
The Science of Joy and Rituals
The Gottman Institute’s neuroscience research in their relationship lab shows that couples who create rituals of connection, whether a daily hug, a shared coffee, or a playful check-in, activate oxytocin and dopamine pathways. These “feel-good” chemicals build emotional safety and resilience, making couples better able to weather stress.
From a Resource Therapy lens, you can see this as giving voice to the joyful parts of you. When these states steer for a while, the ship of your relationship feels lighter, steadier, and more loving. Now, for some of us, this might be a stretch. I personally grew up in an environment where criticism was seen as encouragement to better yourself. A relic of old thinking, you might notice your own.
Try this Joy Imago Dialogue tonight 🌸
Sit down together, take a deep breath, and explore these prompts:
- A small joy I’d love to share with you more often is …
- A time I felt most alive and connected with you was …
- What helps me celebrate our love is …
💡 Tip: As you listen, notice which part of your partner is speaking. Is it their playful state? Their tender state? Their hopeful state? Mirror back what you hear, and appreciate the part that has shown up.
Why Joy Matters
Every joyful moment is a conscious choice to steer your ship with intention. When couples honour the parts that want joy and fun, they strengthen their love story, creating ripples that echo out into family, friendships, and community.
👉 Your turn: What has recently brought you joy, laughter, or a small celebration in your relationship? Share it in the comments — your story might inspire another couple to reclaim joy, too.
Philipa’s Joy and Celebration Imago Dialogue PDF download here.