Tag: couple communication skills

Is It Too Late for Your Relationship? An Imago Psychologist Shares.

Have you ever wondered, if is it too late to save my relationship?

Whether you’re standing on the brink of separation, feeling emotionally disconnected, or simply stuck in patterns that no longer serve you, this question can haunt even the most loving couples. But here’s the good news: as long as two people are willing to show up, explore, and reconnect, it is never too late.

Relationships, much like life itself, are filled with seasons.

Some seasons are bursting with joy and connection, while others feel distant or fraught with challenge.

What if I told you that these challenging moments could become opportunities? By using proven methods like Imago Relationship Coaching and tools like the Last Resort Technique, you and your partner can rediscover the love that brought you together in the first place.

Let’s dive into why it’s never too late to revive a relationship and how these powerful approaches offer hope, healing, and a fresh perspective.

Why Do We Feel It Might Be Too Late?

First, let’s acknowledge the emotional exhaustion that often leads to this question. Whether it’s unresolved arguments, infidelity, or years of unspoken resentment, couples can reach a point where giving up feels easier than holding on.

There may even be a sense of defeat: “We’ve tried everything. Why bother?”

But relationships don’t falter because of a lack of love. More often, it’s because the love has become obscured beneath layers of misunderstanding, complaint, criticism,  hurt, and unhealed wounds.

This is where a fresh approach can shift everything.

Imago Coaching: From Conflict to Connection

Developed by Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt, Imago Relationship Therapy has transformed relationships around the globe. It works on the understanding that:

  • Conflict in a relationship is not a sign of incompatibility; it’s an invitation to grow.
  • The root of many disagreements stems from unmet childhood needs or unconscious emotional triggers.
  • Lost parts that have adapted to protect us.

Imago offers couples the tools to:

  1. Communicate effectively – Instead of pointing fingers or falling into old patterns, Imago introduces the structured Intentional Dialogue technique. This allows partners to truly hear each other—sometimes for the first time in years. You’ll learn how to speak with vulnerability and listen with empathy, creating a safe space for honest connection.
  2. Understand your partner’s world – By uncovering the deeper reasons behind your reactions, you gain clarity on why conflicts happen and how to respond with compassion rather than defensiveness.
  3. Reconnect emotionally – When couples are stuck in resentment, affection and intimacy often fall by the wayside. Imago focuses on rebuilding emotional safety so partners can open their hearts again.

The beauty of Imago Therapy is its emphasis on hope.

It doesn’t matter how far apart you feel or how long you’ve struggled. If you are both willing to step into the process, healing is possible.

The Last Resort Technique: When One Partner Has Checked Out

Sometimes, one person feels done with the relationship while the other wants to fight for it. This can be a deeply painful place to be. Enter the Last Resort Technique.

Popularised in relationship coaching circles, Michelle Weiner Davis’s Last Resort Technique is a series of steps designed for situations where one partner has emotionally (or physically) checked out.

It focuses on personal growth, self-responsibility, and changing the dynamic—often sparking a shift in the relationship itself.

Here’s how it works:

  1. Stop pursuing or begging – Desperation or pushing only drives a disconnected partner further away. Instead, focus on yourself and your own well-being.
  2. Get back to being your best self – By rediscovering your joy, confidence, and individuality, you not only improve your own life but also create a more attractive and inspiring energy.
  3. Offer positive interactions – Small, kind gestures and moments of genuine connection can help shift the energy in the relationship.

This technique is about taking radical responsibility for your side of the dynamic. While it doesn’t guarantee results, it has reignited countless relationships where hope seemed lost.

A New Perspective: The Relationship as a Mirror

Both Imago Therapy and the Last Resort Technique operate on a shared understanding: relationships are mirrors. Your partner reflects back parts of yourself that need attention, healing, and growth. This perspective is powerful because it moves away from blame and instead focuses on opportunity.

What if your current struggles are not the end, but rather an invitation? What if the relationship you want is still waiting on the other side of healing?

It’s Never Too Late to Choose Love

There is no timeline for change. Whether you’ve been together for two years or two decades, the opportunity to reconnect remains. Even couples who felt utterly lost have rediscovered joy and intimacy by committing to the process.

Here’s what I often tell my clients:

It’s not about who you were yesterday; it’s about who you choose to be today.

If you’re struggling in your relationship, I invite you to consider Imago Couples Therapy or the Last Resort Technique. These approaches are not about placing blame or finding quick fixes. Instead, they offer practical tools and insights to help you rebuild understanding, trust, and love.

Take the First Step

If you’re feeling disconnected or uncertain about your relationship’s future, remember—it’s not too late. Even the smallest shift in perspective can create ripples of change.

Reach out to a qualified Imago Couples Therapist or explore resources like the Last Resort Technique. Invest in yourself, your partner, and the love you share. Because at the end of the day, love is always worth fighting for.

Are you ready to rediscover connection and joy in your relationship? Let’s start the journey together. Contact us today to learn more about Imago Couples Therapy and how it can help you and your partner reconnect in ways you never thought possible.

Your relationship deserves it. You deserve it.

Philipa Thornton,

Your Imago Relationship Psychologist and Coach.

The Power of Connection: How Imago Relationship Therapy Helps

Good communication is the heartbeat of any healthy relationship. Yet, many couples find themselves stuck in cycles of misunderstanding, conflict, or emotional disconnection, sadly.

This is where Imago Relationship Therapy (IRT) can be a game changer.

By teaching practical, science-backed tools, IRT helps couples build understanding, empathy, and a deeper connection with one another.

Let’s explore how IRT transforms communication and offer a few tips you can apply right now in your relationship—no therapy session required!

How Imago Relationship Therapy Works

At its core, IRT is about fostering empathy and connection by understanding your partner’s inner world. The therapy was developed by Dr. Harville Hendrix and Dr. Helen LaKelly Hunt, who discovered through their partnership many of our conflicts in relationships stem from unmet childhood needs. This fits it with Attachment research. IRT helps couples move from blame and reactivity to a place of mutual understanding and care.

One of the hallmark tools of IRT is the Imago Dialogue—a structured conversation that promotes active listening, validation, and empathy. It empowers partners to truly hear each other, free from judgment, and communicate with intention and respect.

Why Communication Matters

Couples who communicate effectively are better equipped to navigate life’s challenges, resolve conflicts, and sustain emotional intimacy.

IRT improves communication by:

  • Teaching you to listen actively without interrupting.
  • Helping you validate your partner’s feelings, even if you don’t fully agree.
  • Encouraging empathy by asking, “What’s it like to be you?”

By addressing the root causes of misunderstandings, couples can foster a safe and loving environment where both partners feel seen and valued.

Tips to Use Imago Power Tools in Your Partnership

Even without attending therapy, you can integrate some of IRT’s powerful techniques into your relationship today.

  1. The Power of Mirroring
    When your partner speaks, repeat back what you hear before responding. For example, “What I hear you saying is…” This simple act ensures your partner feels understood and can clear up any miscommunication.
  2. Practice Validation
    After mirroring, acknowledge your partner’s perspective with a phrase like, “It makes sense that you feel that way.” Validation doesn’t mean agreeing—it’s about showing empathy and acknowledgment that is how your mate sees things.
  3. Schedule Safe Conversations
    Set aside a regular time each week to discuss your feelings, needs, and concerns. Create a space where both of you can share openly without fear of criticism. We call this the zero-negativity opportunity in Imago.
  4. Turn Complaints into Requests
    Instead of saying, “You never help around the house,” try reframing with a positive request: “It would mean so much to me if you could help with the dishes tonight.” This shifts the tone from blame to collaboration. Our partners usually want to help us and this allows them to know what you are wanting. We have to use words and if they are kind we are more likely to listen and take them on board.

Stay Connected with Love in the Real World

Building a strong, connected relationship takes work, but the rewards are immense. If you’re ready to deepen your bond and learn more tools to improve your relationship, couples workshop opportunities in person and online, sign up for our newsletter, Love in the Real World. Each month, we’ll send you practical tips, insights, and resources to nurture your partnership.

Sign up here for Love in the Real World Newsletter today

Because love, when nurtured with care and intention, is one of life’s greatest joys.

Warmest wishes,

Philipa and Chris xoxo

Your Attachment Style and the Success of Your Relationship: An Imago Therapy Perspective

The relationships we experienced in early life profoundly shape how we connect with others in adulthood. As an Imago Relationship Therapist, I often see attachment styles as the foundation for understanding relational dynamics. Imago therapy beautifully integrates attachment theory, helping couples transform their connection by uncovering how childhood experiences influence their patterns of love.

Have you ever found yourself in a relationship where your partner felt emotionally unavailable? Or perhaps you’ve felt drained by a partner’s constant emotional demands? These patterns can leave you questioning yourself, wondering, “Why can’t I make relationships work?”

The answer lies in attachment theory, one of the most impactful frameworks in relational psychology. Imago therapy builds on this by exploring how unconscious dynamics from childhood play out in adult romantic relationships. By understanding and healing these patterns, you can create the secure, loving relationship you long for.

The Attachment Urge and Your Relationship Dynamics

In Imago therapy, we view romantic relationships as opportunities for healing childhood wounds. When your attachment system is activated, it’s often because your partner unknowingly mirrors unmet needs or painful memories from your early caregivers.

Ask yourself:

  • Were your caregivers emotionally available, inconsistent, or neglectful?
  • Who did you turn to when you were upset as a child?
  • Did you feel seen, heard, and valued—or left to fend for yourself?

These early experiences form your attachment style, shaping how you relate to romantic partners. There are four main adult attachment patterns, and understanding yours is key to shifting your relationship dynamics.

Attachment Styles in Imago Therapy

Attachment theory identifies secure and insecure attachment styles, each influencing how we navigate love.

  1. Secure Attachment:
    If your caregivers were responsive and attuned to your needs, you likely developed a secure attachment style. Secure individuals approach relationships with confidence, openness, and a belief that their partner will be there for them. Imago therapy supports couples in cultivating this security, even if it wasn’t part of their early experience.
  2. Anxious Attachment:
    Inconsistent caregiving often leads to anxious attachment, where individuals feel unsure about their partner’s availability. They may seek constant reassurance or cling to their partner, fearing abandonment. Imago therapy helps anxious individuals soothe these fears by fostering emotional safety and connection.
  3. Avoidant Attachment:
    Neglectful caregiving can lead to avoidant attachment, where individuals prize independence and struggle with vulnerability. They often keep their partners at arm’s length. Imago therapy gently challenges avoidant partners to open up, creating a safe space for emotional intimacy.
  4. Disorganized Attachment:
    Trauma, chaos, or abuse in childhood often leads to disorganized attachment. These individuals fear closeness but also crave it, resulting in a push-pull dynamic in relationships. Through the Imago dialogue process, couples can unpack these patterns and rebuild trust.

Healing Attachment Wounds Through Imago Therapy

The good news? Attachment styles are not fixed. With awareness and intentionality, you can shift toward secure attachment. Imago therapy offers a structured, compassionate approach to this transformation.

Here’s how:

  • Awareness: By identifying your attachment style and recognising how it plays out in your relationship, you gain clarity about your triggers and patterns.
  • Conscious Choices: Imago therapy encourages you to choose behaviours that build connection, even when old fears arise.
  • Reparenting: Through loving, responsive interactions, you and your partner can “reparent” each other, healing wounds from the past.
  • Safety: The Imago dialogue process fosters emotional safety, allowing both partners to feel seen, heard, and valued.

Choosing Connection Over Fear

Unhealthy relationship patterns often feel familiar because they echo our early experiences. Imago therapy invites couples to move beyond these unconscious reenactments, creating a relationship that feels both exciting and secure.

For those seeking love, choosing a partner with a secure attachment style—or working to develop security together—can profoundly impact your relational satisfaction. Healing doesn’t mean never feeling triggered; it means having the tools and support to navigate those triggers together.

Recommended Resources for Deeper Connection

If you’re curious about attachment and how it influences your relationship, consider these essential reads:

  • Getting the Love You Want by Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt is the cornerstone book of Imago therapy, offering insights and exercises to transform your relationship.
  • Hold Me Tight by Dr. Sue Johnson: Learn how to use attachment principles to strengthen emotional bonds.
  • Attached by Amir Levine & Rachel Heller: A primer on attachment styles and how they play out in adult relationships. Excellent for those on the dating apps.
  • Wired for Love by Stan Tatkin: A neurobiological approach to building secure, lasting relationships.

Your attachment style doesn’t define your destiny—it’s a starting point for growth. With awareness, effort, and the right support, you can rewrite your love story and create a relationship where you and your partner thrive.

Remember, your past may shape you, but it doesn’t have to limit you. In the safe container of an Imago relationship, healing and connection are always possible.

Love to learn about your adventures. Especially if you have attended a Getting the Love You Want workshop. Great to know what happened for you both.

By Philipa Thornton, Psychologist & Advanced Imago Relationship Therapist

Dive into Deeper Connection: Increasing Intimacy & Sexual Satisfaction.

Are you longing to feel closer to your partner? Whether you’re facing challenges in your relationship or simply want to enhance the bond you share, deepening your emotional connection can make all the difference. Sophie Slade and her partner David, experts in relationship therapy, are hosting their transformative Increasing Intimacy Program in Sydney on November 16-17, and you won’t want to miss it!

Why Focus on Intimacy?

Intimacy is more than just physical closeness. It’s about feeling seen, heard, and understood by your partner. Over time, life’s challenges—busy schedules, stress, and even miscommunication—can create distance between partners. That’s where Sophie’s unique approach, grounded in Imago Relationship Therapy, comes in. It’s designed to help you reconnect and truly experience the joy of a fulfilling relationship.

What is Imago Therapy?

Imago Therapy is a powerful framework for couples that focuses on healing and growth through understanding. It teaches couples how to communicate more effectively by identifying unconscious triggers and working through them together. Developed by Dr. Harville Hendrix and Dr. Helen LaKelly Hunt, Imago Therapy emphasizes the idea that conflict, when approached correctly, is an opportunity for healing.

During Sophie and David’s workshop, you’ll learn techniques rooted in Imago to:

  • Understand the deeper reasons behind your conflicts.
  • Foster greater empathy and compassion.
  • Rebuild trust and emotional safety.
  • Rekindle passion and joy in your relationship.

Why This Workshop is Perfect for You

If you’ve been seeking ways to improve your relationship, this workshop offers practical, immediate tools that you can start using during the event itself. Sophie Slade is a Master Imago therapist, bringing years of experience to this highly engaging and interactive two-day event. What makes this workshop truly special is that Sophie and David lead the way as a couple—they’ve experienced the joys and challenges of intimacy firsthand and share their insights with warmth and honesty. Their personal and professional journeys reflect a deep understanding of what it takes to cultivate lasting love.

The Key Benefits You’ll Gain

  • Effective Communication Skills: Learn how to express your needs in ways that invite your partner into understanding rather than defensiveness.
  • Deeper Emotional Connection: Discover how to become more present with your partner, improving both emotional and physical intimacy.
  • A Fresh Perspective on Conflict: See conflict as a way to grow closer and resolve long-standing issues with compassion.
  • Practical Tools for Daily Life: You’ll leave with exercises you can easily incorporate into your relationship to sustain long-term happiness and connection.

The Time for Transformation is Now!

The Increasing Intimacy Program is not just for couples in crisis—it’s for anyone who wants to deepen their bond and create a lasting, loving partnership. Whether you’ve been together for a few years or a few decades, this workshop will reignite the connection that first brought you together. Imagine walking away from this weekend with new insights, a renewed sense of love, and practical ways to keep that connection alive.

Secure Your Spot Today!

Don’t wait! Space is limited, and this intimate event offers a unique opportunity to work with Sophie Slade, an Imago Master therapist, alongside her partner David. This workshop promises a safe, supportive environment where you and your partner can rediscover the joy of a thriving relationship.

Join us in Sydney on November 16-17 Crows Nest, and take the next step toward lasting intimacy and happiness. Click here – Register to secure your place in this life-changing event!

Let’s build a stronger, more connected future together.

Exploring Sex, Love & Goop – Imago Lens: Increasing Intimacy

As couples navigate the ebb and flow of relationships, sexual intimacy often becomes an area of disconnection and frustration. For many, this is less about physical compatibility and more about the emotional and psychological barriers that prevent deeper connection. As we know in Imago the romantic love stage of relationship inevitable draws to a close and we enter the power struggle.

Gwyneth Paltrow’s Netflix series, Sex, Love & Goop, provides a refreshing approach to addressing these issues, making it a valuable resource for couples seeking to revitalize their sex lives.

From an Imago Therapy perspective, this series resonates deeply because it’s not just about sex—it’s about emotional healing, understanding, and connecting with your partner at a more profound level. Let’s explore how Sex, Love & Goop aligns with the principles of Imago Therapy and why it’s worth watching if you’re looking to enhance intimacy in your relationship.

Understanding Sexual Intimacy as a Path to Healing

Imago Therapy teaches us that relationships are a place for healing childhood hurts and unmet needs. Often, conflicts in a relationship—particularly around sex—are not really about the present moment but are rooted in deeper, unconscious wounds from the past. Sex, Love & Goop echoes this by showing how unresolved emotions and unspoken needs can affect sexual intimacy.

In the series, couples work through their emotional barriers, learning how past experiences influence their present-day sexual relationships. This mirrors Imago’s core belief that by understanding your partner’s wounds—and how your behaviour might trigger them—you can create a more empathetic, healing space. The series encourages couples to view intimacy as a journey of mutual healing, where vulnerability and communication are key.

The Power of Dialogue in Building Connection

One of the pillars of Imago Therapy is the Imago Dialogue, a structured conversation that helps couples communicate in a way that fosters understanding, validation, and empathy. Sex, Love & Goop highlights the importance of open communication around sexual desires and emotional needs, which is essential for creating a satisfying sexual connection.

The couples in the series are guided through discussions that go beyond the surface, encouraging them to share their deepest fears, desires, and insecurities. This process of sharing and truly hearing each other is at the heart of Imago work. Couples who watch the show will likely feel inspired to start their own dialogues about intimacy, which can bring them closer emotionally and physically.

Reconnecting Through Safety and Vulnerability

Imago Therapy emphasizes the importance of creating safety in relationships, particularly when it comes to vulnerability. In Sex, Love & Goop, couples explore how fear, shame, or past trauma might be preventing them from experiencing deeper intimacy. The series teaches that sexual satisfaction is closely linked to emotional safety—when partners feel safe with each other, they can be more vulnerable, and that vulnerability leads to greater intimacy.

This mirrors the Imago belief that healing comes from being vulnerable with your partner and knowing they will respond with empathy and love. The show encourages couples to see their relationship as a safe space for exploration, both sexually and emotionally. This is a powerful lesson for any couple, as it reinforces that intimacy is not just about physical pleasure—it’s about emotional closeness.

Exercises to Strengthen the Connection

One of the most practical aspects of Sex, Love & Goop is the inclusion of exercises that couples can try at home. These exercises, like guided touch and body mapping, are designed to foster connection, communication, and trust. From an Imago perspective, these exercises can be seen as tools for creating attunement between partners.

In Imago, we focus on helping couples become more attuned to each other’s emotional and physical needs. The series offers couples the opportunity to practice this attunement through exercises that deepen their understanding of each other’s bodies and boundaries. Whether you’ve been together for years or are just starting out, these practices encourage a mindset of curiosity and mutual discovery, which is essential for long-term sexual satisfaction.

Take the Step Toward Greater Intimacy

If you and your partner are struggling with intimacy or looking for ways to deepen your connection, Sex, Love & Goop offers a compassionate and enlightening look at what it takes to build a satisfying sex life. From an Imago Therapy perspective, this series provides valuable insights into how unresolved emotional wounds and poor communication can impact sexual intimacy—and how healing these wounds can bring you closer.

For those ready to take their intimacy journey even further, my friend Sophie Slade, an Imago Master therapist, is offering a transformative live workshop in Sydney Nov 2024. Sophie, along with her partner, runs this workshop and openly shares their own story of rediscovering their sexual selves as a mature, loving couple. Through their journey, they have found a new, exciting way to connect both emotionally and physically, and they invite other couples to do the same.

This workshop is perfect for couples who are ready to break through barriers to intimacy, reignite their passion, and deepen their emotional connection.

You’ll learn how to create the safety and vulnerability necessary for authentic sexual expression, guided by two people who have walked this path themselves. Sophie’s warmth, wisdom, and expertise make this an unmissable opportunity for any couple looking to take their relationship to the next level.

Don’t miss this chance to experience the profound changes that come with reconnecting to your partner—and yourselves—in a way you may never have thought possible.

Secure your spot now, and let Sophie and her partner guide you toward a more passionate, fulfilling, and intimate relationship.

Click the link here for Increasing Intimacy Weekend Program with Sophie and David. Please say Hi!

Now or Never for 2024

Hello, beautiful committed couples – super excited to be sharing Imago Relationship’s premier program for partnerships. Your last chance to save as the early bird rate ends this Friday 6th Sept and I don’t want you to miss out.

Open to all pairings, LGBTQIA + supportive as the tools are so practical. Jump in now and gift you and your loved one this unique and special opportunity. We joke (however, it’s true) that this two-day program is the equivalent of 10-12 therapy sessions. Like who has the time, anyone? Imagine fast-tracking your connection within a weekend. Plus, the bonus is both of you each get the workshop manual to use moving forward.

Email me today or call me.

Unlock the Love You Deserve: Join Us for the ‘Getting the Love You Want’ Workshop on November 16/17

Last updated on September 10th, 2024 at 06:32 pm

Are you ready to transform your relationship and reconnect with your partner in a way that feels truly fulfilling? The ‘Getting the Love You Want’ workshop is designed to do just that! Set aside November 16/17 2024 for a weekend that could change everything.

This workshop is a unique opportunity for couples to dive deep into the core of their relationship, learn how to communicate effectively, heal past wounds, and build a future filled with love, respect, and joy. Whether you’re facing challenges or just want to strengthen your bond, this experience is for you.

Why Now?

Here’s the exciting part: If you register before September 30, you’ll benefit from our early bird special! This offer is a fantastic way to secure your spot and save a little extra, all while investing in the health and happiness of your relationship.

Imagine how relieved you’ll feel, knowing you’ve taken this step toward a brighter future together.

But don’t wait—spots are limited, so you can experience this in a small group working only with your partner., We wouldn’t want you to miss out on this life-changing experience.

You and your partner can live the dream loving in your way .. learn how at our Imago Getting the Love You Want Workshop

Take action today and email us to secure your place. Your relationship deserves this time and attention, and we’re here to support you every step of the way.

Join Philipa and her expert team in Sydney this November for a weekend that promises to rekindle your romance and leave you with tools that will last a lifetime.

Here’s a quick peek behind the scenes – on the first day you will go on a journey, landing in the afternoon with a sense of re-connection and romance. This optimism and positivity flow into the second day when we learn practical tools, not just “dealing with” but changing your day-to-day difficulties in a relationship and moving beyond them.

Hurry we offer an intimate space with small numbers so you can feel comfortable, and at ease with your partner. One price per couple. Please email me to secure your future today!

Please email me to secure your future today!

Understanding the Imago Relationship Therapy Model for Partnerships

Why Choose Imago as a Brief Relationship Coaching Model?

Our childhood, particularly our relationships with our parents and significant others, profoundly shapes our personalities and relationships in adulthood.

Imago Relationship Therapy, a holistic and structured therapeutic approach, uses this concept to support couple growth and connection. Designed to help couples reduce conflicts and improve their relationships, the Imago Model delves into early influences of our personality parts and how we can adapt for a new, healthier partnership with good tools and guidance.

What Is Imago Therapy?

Dr. Harville Hendrix and Dr. Helen LaKelly Hunt developed Imago Therapy in the 1980s. The term “Imago” is Latin for ‘image,’ reflecting the idea that people are attracted to partners who mirror both the positive and negative traits of their childhood caregivers. As you can see we are drawn to seek and improve ourselves.

The theory acknowledges that early life experiences shape our understanding of love and safety. As adults, we unconsciously seek partners who resemble our parents, hoping to fulfil the unconscious image of love formed in our childhood.

Imago Therapy aims to help individuals address unresolved childhood issues and needs, making partners aware of how these experiences influence their current relationship dynamics. So when our partner is running late and hasn’t called us, our adult part can support us rather than our child part feeling abandoned. Or we can know our partners needs for reassurance come from their parents inability to tune into our unique aspects of ourselves. This is supremely freeing for both parties as you can imagine.

The therapist is your coach and guide, having completed many years of training. An Imago certified relationship psychologist will be using Imago both professionally and personally. Chris and I as a husband and wife team found this got us out of the hole we were stuck in. It’s a tried and true psychological method of relationship transformation for us. This is why we are so passionate sharing Imago with you!

The Core Principles of Imago Therapy

The Imago Therapy model is built on five fundamental principles:

  • Reimagining Your Partner as holding hurt from the past: Understanding your partner’s vulnerabilities rooted in their childhood experiences.
  • Rekindling Romance: Engaging in activities like giving gifts, surprising your partner, and appreciating each other to revive the romance in your relationship.
  • Transforming Disappointments and Frustrations: Converting complaints into constructive requests.
  • Managing Intense Emotions: Seeking solutions together to manage feelings. Learning to self-care and reset your nervous system from fight/flight/freeze responses and reactivity. Towards a calm and composed way of being, allowing us to reconnect with our rational thinking brain.
  • Re-envisioning Your Relationship: Viewing your relationship as a source of Joy, satisfaction, and safety.

Techniques in Imago Therapy

Imago Therapy employs various structured techniques to help couples reduce conflict and reconnect:

  • The Imago Dialogue: This structured process helps partners understand each other’s perspective better. During sessions, one partner shares their thoughts and feelings while the other listens without interruption, fostering a calm safe space for open and non-judgmental communication.
  • Mirroring: One partner reflects the words and emotional tone of the other without adding interpretation or judgment. This technique enhances understanding and allows for clarity. Offering you and your partner the opportunity to feel deeply heard and seen.
  • Empathy and Validation: These are crucial components of Imago Therapy. Through guided exercises, couples learn to empathise with each other’s experiences, validate their feelings, and respond with compassion rather than defensiveness, deepening their emotional connection. This is revitalising, as we are acknowledged and attuned to with care and kindness by our loved ones.
  • The Parent-Child Dialogue: Partners discuss their childhood experiences and feelings towards their parents or caregivers, leading to a better understanding of each other’s behaviours and needs. This offers a distance from past hurts and potential healing in the present.
  • Behaviour Change Requests: Partners take turns expressing what they would like their partner to improve, framed in a kind, and empathetic manner rather than the usual arguments with frustration or anger. Promoting conflict resolution in a safe environment.

Is Imago Therapy an Effective Short-Term Approach?

While research is limited, existing studies suggest that Imago Relationship Therapy is an effective approach for couples. A randomised control study the gold standard of research conducted by Gehlert, Schmidt, Giegerich, Luquet (2017) found that 12 weeks of Imago therapy for couples in distress seeking marital treatment was linked to improvements in relationship satisfaction. Their results demonstrated that individuals receiving Imago Relationship therapy showed statistically significant increases in marital satisfaction. Couples in the control group remained at the same level of distress.A qualitative study of meaningful data exploring 12 people of African and American heritage’s experience after completing Imago education/ Their data analysis saw improved communication between partners, increased understanding of self and partner, and their childhood experiences impact the relationship.

You and your partner sharing from your heart

We all deserve love and connection.

Why Choose Imago?

The Imago Model is a structured therapeutic approach designed to improve relationships by addressing the significant impact of early childhood experiences. It employs various techniques, such as the Imago Dialogue, behaviour change requests, and parent-child dialogue, to facilitate communication and connection among partners. Research supports its effectiveness in enhancing communication and relationship satisfaction.

At Marriage Works, we are committed to helping couples navigate the complexities of their relationships with tools like Imago Therapy. By understanding and addressing the roots of relationship dynamics, we aim to foster deeper connections and lasting satisfaction in partnerships.

Thanks so much for taking the time to read this,

With love and light Philipa and Chris.

References
  1. Harville and Helen. What is Imago?
  2. Martin TL, Bielawski DM. What is the African American’s experience following Imago education?. J Humanist Psychology. 2011;51(2):216-228. doi:10.1177/0022167809352379
  3. Gehlert NC, Schmidt CD, Giegerich V, Luquet W. Randomized controlled trial of Imago relationship therapy: Exploring statistical and clinical significance. J Couple Relationship Therapy. 2017;16(3):188-209. doi:10.1080/15332691.2016.1253518
Additional Resources

Heal Your Relationship: Imago Relationship Couples Intensive In Sydney!

Are you and your partner looking to deepen your connection, improve communication, and reignite the spark in your relationship? At Marriage Works, we’re thrilled to announce our upcoming Imago Relationship Couples Intensive Program, is taking place in beautiful Sydney on November 16th and 17th.

Join the thousands of happy partners who have found the secret to success with this globally respected, tried, and true course – Getting the Love You Want weekend workshop.

This transformative experience is designed to help couples like you build stronger, more fulfilling relationships. Applying real-world practical skills, you will be able to use immediately.

What Is the Imago Relationship Couples Intensive?

Our Imago Relationship Couples Intensive is a two-day immersive program that combines the best of relationship psychology with practical, hands-on exercises. Whether you’re newlyweds or have been together for decades, this program offers valuable insights and tools to help you navigate the complexities of your relationship with greater ease and understanding.

This is you in your future - happy, connected and passionate for each other!

Led by Philipa Thornton, a highly respected Relationship Psychologist and certified Imago Psychotherapist, you’ll benefit from her unique blend of professional expertise and personal experience. As a partner and wife herself, Philipa understands the real-life challenges couples face and is passionate about helping you overcome them.

Why You Should Attend

  1. Expert Guidance: Philipa Thornton brings years of experience and a deep understanding of relationship dynamics. Her warm, approachable style makes learning enjoyable and effective.
  2. Interactive Sessions: Our program is not just about listening; it’s about doing. You’ll participate in practical exercises and meaningful dialogues designed to bring you closer to your partner.
  3. Safe and Supportive Environment: We create a confidential, nurturing space where you can feel safe to share, heal, and grow together.
  4. Proven Techniques: Learn effective tools and strategies from the Imago Therapy framework, a proven approach to enhancing relationships.

Don’t Miss Out – Register Now!

We understand how busy life can get, but investing time in your relationship is one of the best decisions you can make. Our early bird rates are currently available, so don’t wait to secure your spot. These special rates are limited, and our programs tend to fill up quickly.

Join Us in Sydney!

Picture this: a weekend in Sydney dedicated to just you and your partner. A time to step away from the daily grind and focus on what truly matters – your relationship. Imagine leaving the event feeling closer, more connected, and equipped with new tools to keep your relationship thriving.

Don’t let this opportunity pass you by. Early bird rates won’t last long, and spots are filling up quickly. Take the first step towards a more loving and fulfilling relationship today.

For more details and to secure your spot, visit our website or call us. We can’t wait to welcome you and support your journey to a stronger, happier partnership!

Warm regards,
Philipa Thornton and the Marriage Works Team

Take Action Today

Please drop a comment below and let us know your hopes for joining us.

Registration is now open! To apply for your ticket to Loving Connection, simply click this link to Call Philipa or send me an email.

It will be amazing, and I can’t wait to meet you all!

Unlock the Secrets to a Lasting Relationship with “Getting the Love You Want”

Last updated on August 15th, 2024 at 09:28 am

In the heart of every couple lies a deep yearning to understand and be understood, to connect and be connected, to love and be loved. If you’ve found yourself seeking a deeper, more fulfilling bond with your partner, the Imago Relationship Therapy’s “Getting the Love You Want” two-day couples program is your gateway to transforming your relationship into the partnership you’ve always dreamed of.

Why “Getting the Love You Want”?

Developed by leading experts in marital stability and satisfaction, this program is more than just a retreat; it’s a journey toward the heart of what truly matters in a relationship.

Professor Harville Hendrix Ph.D. and wife Helen La Kelly-Hunt Ph.D., Oprah’s favourite couples therapists, have developed a tried and true two-day inspirational couple journey.

Your presenter Philipa Thornton and husband Chris Paulin offer a lived experience as partners and psychologists. We know it can be tough but with the right help, change is not only possible but inevitable. This was the workshop that energized and strengthened us. We want to offer you the same support and practical skills you can use immediately in your home.

This workshop packs a punch. No more hours of therapy sessions. Get it done in a weekend intensive retreat.

Through a series of interactive sessions, you’ll explore the complexities of love, communication, and connection, unravelling the mysteries that have kept you from achieving the intimacy you crave.

Join the husband and wife team Chris & Philipa relationship psychologists for real world relationship satisfaction and resolution in our latest Sydney Getting the Love You Want Program, a two day workshop for couples.
Exclusive Couples Retreat two-day intensive Program Sydney with Imago Psychologist Philipa Thornton.

What You Will Discover

Over two transformative days, you and your partner will dive into the science and soul of love. You’ll learn:

  • The Art of Communication: Unlock the secrets to expressing your needs and desires without conflict.
  • Deepening Connection: Discover how to forge an unbreakable bond with your partner, even in the face of adversity.
  • Resolving Conflict: Learn strategies to turn conflicts into opportunities for growth and deeper understanding.
  • Revitalising Your Relationship: Rekindle the passion and joy that brought you together in the first place.

Why Now?

The “Getting the Love You Want” program is not just an event; it’s a turning point for your relationship.

With registration now open, this is your moment to choose love, understanding, and connection. Spaces are limited, as we believe in creating a close, intimate setting where every couple receives personalized attention.

Who Should Attend?

This program is designed for couples at any stage of their relationship, whether you’re in the blissful honeymoon phase, navigating challenges, or anywhere in between. It’s for those who believe in love’s potential to grow and enrich our lives in unimaginable ways.

Join Us and Transform Your Relationship

If you’re ready to embark on this journey, reach out to register for the “Getting the Love You Want” program – in person in Sydney Eastern Suburbs on November 16/17.

Don’t let another day pass wishing your relationship could be different. Take the step today towards the love you’ve always wanted, and the relationship you and your partner deserve.

Act Now: Secure Your Spot

Registration is now open, but spaces fill up quickly. Don’t miss out on this opportunity to transform your relationship and your life. Sign up now and start your journey to getting the love you want.

Register Here

Remember, love isn’t just about finding the right person. It’s about becoming the right partners for each other. Let us guide you there.

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0434 559 011
Weekdays 9am - 5pm Australian Eastern Standard Time (UTC +10)

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