Is It Too Late for Your Relationship? An Imago Psychologist Shares.

Have you ever wondered, if is it too late to save my relationship?

Whether you’re standing on the brink of separation, feeling emotionally disconnected, or simply stuck in patterns that no longer serve you, this question can haunt even the most loving couples. But here’s the good news: as long as two people are willing to show up, explore, and reconnect, it is never too late.

Relationships, much like life itself, are filled with seasons.

Some seasons are bursting with joy and connection, while others feel distant or fraught with challenge.

What if I told you that these challenging moments could become opportunities? By using proven methods like Imago Relationship Coaching and tools like the Last Resort Technique, you and your partner can rediscover the love that brought you together in the first place.

Let’s dive into why it’s never too late to revive a relationship and how these powerful approaches offer hope, healing, and a fresh perspective.


Why Do We Feel It Might Be Too Late?

First, let’s acknowledge the emotional exhaustion that often leads to this question. Whether it’s unresolved arguments, infidelity, or years of unspoken resentment, couples can reach a point where giving up feels easier than holding on.

There may even be a sense of defeat: “We’ve tried everything. Why bother?”

But relationships don’t falter because of a lack of love. More often, it’s because the love has become obscured beneath layers of misunderstanding, complaint, criticism,  hurt, and unhealed wounds.

This is where a fresh approach can shift everything.


Imago Coaching: From Conflict to Connection

Developed by Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt, Imago Relationship Therapy has transformed relationships around the globe. It works on the understanding that:

  • Conflict in a relationship is not a sign of incompatibility; it’s an invitation to grow.
  • The root of many disagreements stems from unmet childhood needs or unconscious emotional triggers.
  • Lost parts that have adapted to protect us.

Imago offers couples the tools to:

  1. Communicate effectively – Instead of pointing fingers or falling into old patterns, Imago introduces the structured Intentional Dialogue technique. This allows partners to truly hear each other—sometimes for the first time in years. You’ll learn how to speak with vulnerability and listen with empathy, creating a safe space for honest connection.
  2. Understand your partner’s world – By uncovering the deeper reasons behind your reactions, you gain clarity on why conflicts happen and how to respond with compassion rather than defensiveness.
  3. Reconnect emotionally – When couples are stuck in resentment, affection and intimacy often fall by the wayside. Imago focuses on rebuilding emotional safety so partners can open their hearts again.

The beauty of Imago Therapy is its emphasis on hope.

It doesn’t matter how far apart you feel or how long you’ve struggled. If you are both willing to step into the process, healing is possible.


The Last Resort Technique: When One Partner Has Checked Out

Sometimes, one person feels done with the relationship while the other wants to fight for it. This can be a deeply painful place to be. Enter the Last Resort Technique.

Popularised in relationship coaching circles, Michelle Weiner Davis’s Last Resort Technique is a series of steps designed for situations where one partner has emotionally (or physically) checked out.

It focuses on personal growth, self-responsibility, and changing the dynamic—often sparking a shift in the relationship itself.

Here’s how it works:

  1. Stop pursuing or begging – Desperation or pushing only drives a disconnected partner further away. Instead, focus on yourself and your own well-being.
  2. Get back to being your best self – By rediscovering your joy, confidence, and individuality, you not only improve your own life but also create a more attractive and inspiring energy.
  3. Offer positive interactions – Small, kind gestures and moments of genuine connection can help shift the energy in the relationship.

This technique is about taking radical responsibility for your side of the dynamic. While it doesn’t guarantee results, it has reignited countless relationships where hope seemed lost.


A New Perspective: The Relationship as a Mirror

Both Imago Therapy and the Last Resort Technique operate on a shared understanding: relationships are mirrors. Your partner reflects back parts of yourself that need attention, healing, and growth. This perspective is powerful because it moves away from blame and instead focuses on opportunity.

What if your current struggles are not the end, but rather an invitation? What if the relationship you want is still waiting on the other side of healing?


It’s Never Too Late to Choose Love

There is no timeline for change. Whether you’ve been together for two years or two decades, the opportunity to reconnect remains. Even couples who felt utterly lost have rediscovered joy and intimacy by committing to the process.

Here’s what I often tell my clients:

It’s not about who you were yesterday; it’s about who you choose to be today.

If you’re struggling in your relationship, I invite you to consider Imago Couples Therapy or the Last Resort Technique. These approaches are not about placing blame or finding quick fixes. Instead, they offer practical tools and insights to help you rebuild understanding, trust, and love.

Take the First Step

If you’re feeling disconnected or uncertain about your relationship’s future, remember—it’s not too late. Even the smallest shift in perspective can create ripples of change.

Reach out to a qualified Imago Couples Therapist or explore resources like the Last Resort Technique. Invest in yourself, your partner, and the love you share. Because at the end of the day, love is always worth fighting for.


Are you ready to rediscover connection and joy in your relationship? Let’s start the journey together. Contact us today to learn more about Imago Couples Therapy and how it can help you and your partner reconnect in ways you never thought possible.

Your relationship deserves it. You deserve it.

Philipa Thornton,

Your Imago Relationship Psychologist and Coach.

Supporting Relationships with Imago Principles: A Path to Connection

Relationships are a beautiful dance between two individuals, each bringing their unique experiences, values, and perspectives. But sometimes, navigating this dance can feel like a challenge, especially when misunderstandings, conflicts, or emotional disconnection arise. That’s where Imago Relationship Therapy steps in—a powerful approach designed to deepen connection, heal past wounds, and foster a more harmonious partnership.

At Marriage Works, we embrace the transformative principles of Imago Therapy to support couples on their journey toward thriving, loving relationships. Understanding and applying these principles can make all the difference if you’re facing a crossroads or want to deepen your bond.

What Is Imago Therapy?

Imago Therapy, developed by Dr. Harville Hendrix and Dr. Helen LaKelly Hunt, is built on the idea that we unconsciously seek partners who reflect our primary caregivers’ qualities (both positive and challenging). These dynamics often lead to familiar patterns in adult relationships. The good news? Imago Therapy offers tools to turn these patterns into opportunities for growth and connection.

Core Imago Principles to Enhance Your Relationship

  1. Conscious Communication
    Communication is the lifeblood of any relationship. Imago principles emphasize intentional dialogue, a structured approach where partners take turns speaking and truly listening. This process fosters understanding, reduces defensiveness, and ensures both partners feel heard and valued.

How to Apply It:
Practice the “Intentional Imago Dialogue.” Start with mirroring your partner’s words, validate their feelings, and empathize with their experience. This creates a safe space for vulnerability and connection.

  1. Understanding Triggers
    In relationships, conflicts often stem from unresolved childhood wounds. Imago Therapy encourages couples to explore these triggers and recognise them as opportunities to heal and grow. By understanding the roots of your partner’s reactions, you can respond with compassion rather than defensiveness.

How to Apply It:
When tension arises, pause and reflect. Ask yourself, “What is this really about for me or my partner?” Discussing these deeper emotions can transform conflict into closeness. We can use either the Behaviour Change Request Dialogue or the Parent-Child dialogue.

  1. Co-Creating a Vision
    Relationships thrive when couples work together to build a shared vision. Imago Therapy inspires partners to move beyond power struggles and create a “conscious relationship” where mutual respect and growth are prioritised.

How to Apply It:
Sit down with your partner and discuss your dreams, goals, and what you both want to create in your relationship. Write it down and revisit it regularly as a couple. The Vision dialogue promotes hope and connection.

  1. Reigniting Romance
    Over time, the spark in relationships can dim, but Imago Therapy reminds us that romance is not a one-time event—it’s a practice. By intentionally investing in connection, couples can rediscover joy and intimacy.

How to Apply It:
Schedule regular “date nights” and surprise your partner with thoughtful gestures. Small acts of love nurture the bond and keep the romance alive. What are your caring behaviours, your love languages and most importantly what are your partners? Knowing these can reignite the romance.

Why Imago Principles Work

What makes Imago Therapy so effective is its focus on collaboration rather than blame. It helps couples view challenges as opportunities to heal and grow together, creating a foundation of mutual trust and understanding.

Take the Next Step

At Marriage Works, we offer Imago workshops and couples counselling tailored to help you apply these principles in your relationship. Our “Getting the Love You Want” workshops provide a safe and supportive environment for couples to explore their patterns, deepen their connection, and rediscover the love they share.

No matter where you are in your relationship journey, Imago principles can support you in building a partnership filled with joy, understanding, and love. Take the first step today—your relationship is worth it!

If you’re ready to transform your relationship, contact us at Marriage Works or sign up for our next couples workshop with the newsletter. Let’s work together to help you get the love you want.

With Love in the Real World,

Philipa & Chris


Dive into Deeper Connection: Increasing Intimacy & Sexual Satisfaction.

Are you longing to feel closer to your partner? Whether you’re facing challenges in your relationship or simply want to enhance the bond you share, deepening your emotional connection can make all the difference. Sophie Slade and her partner David, experts in relationship therapy, are hosting their transformative Increasing Intimacy Program in Sydney on November 16-17, and you won’t want to miss it!

Why Focus on Intimacy?

Intimacy is more than just physical closeness. It’s about feeling seen, heard, and understood by your partner. Over time, life’s challenges—busy schedules, stress, and even miscommunication—can create distance between partners. That’s where Sophie’s unique approach, grounded in Imago Relationship Therapy, comes in. It’s designed to help you reconnect and truly experience the joy of a fulfilling relationship.

What is Imago Therapy?

Imago Therapy is a powerful framework for couples that focuses on healing and growth through understanding. It teaches couples how to communicate more effectively by identifying unconscious triggers and working through them together. Developed by Dr. Harville Hendrix and Dr. Helen LaKelly Hunt, Imago Therapy emphasizes the idea that conflict, when approached correctly, is an opportunity for healing.

During Sophie and David’s workshop, you’ll learn techniques rooted in Imago to:

  • Understand the deeper reasons behind your conflicts.
  • Foster greater empathy and compassion.
  • Rebuild trust and emotional safety.
  • Rekindle passion and joy in your relationship.

Why This Workshop is Perfect for You

If you’ve been seeking ways to improve your relationship, this workshop offers practical, immediate tools that you can start using during the event itself. Sophie Slade is a Master Imago therapist, bringing years of experience to this highly engaging and interactive two-day event. What makes this workshop truly special is that Sophie and David lead the way as a couple—they’ve experienced the joys and challenges of intimacy firsthand and share their insights with warmth and honesty. Their personal and professional journeys reflect a deep understanding of what it takes to cultivate lasting love.

The Key Benefits You’ll Gain

  • Effective Communication Skills: Learn how to express your needs in ways that invite your partner into understanding rather than defensiveness.
  • Deeper Emotional Connection: Discover how to become more present with your partner, improving both emotional and physical intimacy.
  • A Fresh Perspective on Conflict: See conflict as a way to grow closer and resolve long-standing issues with compassion.
  • Practical Tools for Daily Life: You’ll leave with exercises you can easily incorporate into your relationship to sustain long-term happiness and connection.

The Time for Transformation is Now!

The Increasing Intimacy Program is not just for couples in crisis—it’s for anyone who wants to deepen their bond and create a lasting, loving partnership. Whether you’ve been together for a few years or a few decades, this workshop will reignite the connection that first brought you together. Imagine walking away from this weekend with new insights, a renewed sense of love, and practical ways to keep that connection alive.

Secure Your Spot Today!

Don’t wait! Space is limited, and this intimate event offers a unique opportunity to work with Sophie Slade, an Imago Master therapist, alongside her partner David. This workshop promises a safe, supportive environment where you and your partner can rediscover the joy of a thriving relationship.

Join us in Sydney on November 16-17 Crows Nest, and take the next step toward lasting intimacy and happiness. Click here – Register to secure your place in this life-changing event!

Let’s build a stronger, more connected future together.

Last Chance to Learn Life Skills and Save!

The Super Early bird can’t last, it ends this week. Don’t miss your opportunity to experience Getting the Love You Want in Sydney Nov 16/17. This is Imago Relationship’s premier couples retreat.

Crafted by relationship healers Helen Lakelly- Hunt and husband Harville Hendrix from their hard won knowledge. Your will learn how to communicate clearly, kindly on the big and little stuff of day to day living in connection.

Imagine feeling the spark reignited, yes you know the one, when you first met and couldn’t get enough of each other! Somehow you got lost on the way, busy-ness, children, and work pressures may have led to a sense of loneliness, even regret.

Hope beckons. With two days of excitement rediscovering each other.

Fall in love all over again.

This retreat provides you with practical real world skills. Say goodbye to old stuck patterns, feeling alone and sad. Say hello to yourself and your partner.

How will your children feel, seeing their Mum and Dad touching, caring, and talking not just stuck fighting? I’d guess a sense of safety and security. Their adults have got this. How amazing.

Hurry limited spaces. Please call us Philipa on 0434 559 011. Email me at philipathornton@gmail.com

You don’t want to miss this relationship recharge.

Sending Love and Light,

Philipa

Now or Never for 2024

Hello, beautiful committed couples – super excited to be sharing Imago Relationship’s premier program for partnerships. Your last chance to save as the early bird rate ends this Friday 6th Sept and I don’t want you to miss out.

Open to all pairings, LGBTQIA + supportive as the tools are so practical. Jump in now and gift you and your loved one this unique and special opportunity. We joke (however, it’s true) that this two-day program is the equivalent of 10-12 therapy sessions. Like who has the time, anyone? Imagine fast-tracking your connection within a weekend. Plus, the bonus is both of you each get the workshop manual to use moving forward.

Email me today or call me.

Heal Your Relationship: Imago Relationship Couples Intensive In Sydney!

Are you and your partner looking to deepen your connection, improve communication, and reignite the spark in your relationship? At Marriage Works, we’re thrilled to announce our upcoming Imago Relationship Couples Intensive Program, is taking place in beautiful Sydney on November 16th and 17th.

Join the thousands of happy partners who have found the secret to success with this globally respected, tried, and true course – Getting the Love You Want weekend workshop.

This transformative experience is designed to help couples like you build stronger, more fulfilling relationships. Applying real-world practical skills, you will be able to use immediately.

What Is the Imago Relationship Couples Intensive?

Our Imago Relationship Couples Intensive is a two-day immersive program that combines the best of relationship psychology with practical, hands-on exercises. Whether you’re newlyweds or have been together for decades, this program offers valuable insights and tools to help you navigate the complexities of your relationship with greater ease and understanding.

This is you in your future - happy, connected and passionate for each other!

Led by Philipa Thornton, a highly respected Relationship Psychologist and certified Imago Psychotherapist, you’ll benefit from her unique blend of professional expertise and personal experience. As a partner and wife herself, Philipa understands the real-life challenges couples face and is passionate about helping you overcome them.

Why You Should Attend

  1. Expert Guidance: Philipa Thornton brings years of experience and a deep understanding of relationship dynamics. Her warm, approachable style makes learning enjoyable and effective.
  2. Interactive Sessions: Our program is not just about listening; it’s about doing. You’ll participate in practical exercises and meaningful dialogues designed to bring you closer to your partner.
  3. Safe and Supportive Environment: We create a confidential, nurturing space where you can feel safe to share, heal, and grow together.
  4. Proven Techniques: Learn effective tools and strategies from the Imago Therapy framework, a proven approach to enhancing relationships.

Don’t Miss Out – Register Now!

We understand how busy life can get, but investing time in your relationship is one of the best decisions you can make. Our early bird rates are currently available, so don’t wait to secure your spot. These special rates are limited, and our programs tend to fill up quickly.

Join Us in Sydney!

Picture this: a weekend in Sydney dedicated to just you and your partner. A time to step away from the daily grind and focus on what truly matters – your relationship. Imagine leaving the event feeling closer, more connected, and equipped with new tools to keep your relationship thriving.

Don’t let this opportunity pass you by. Early bird rates won’t last long, and spots are filling up quickly. Take the first step towards a more loving and fulfilling relationship today.

For more details and to secure your spot, visit our website or call us. We can’t wait to welcome you and support your journey to a stronger, happier partnership!

Warm regards,
Philipa Thornton and the Marriage Works Team

Take Action Today

Please drop a comment below and let us know your hopes for joining us.

Registration is now open! To apply for your ticket to Loving Connection, simply click this link to Call Philipa or send me an email.

It will be amazing, and I can’t wait to meet you all!

Deepening Bonds with Imago: Nurturing Empathy and Understanding in Relationships

By Philipa Thornton, Psychologist and Imago Relationship Therapy Expert

After decades as a psychologist specializing in relationship therapy, I’ve had the privilege of witnessing countless couples transform their relationships through Imago Relationship Therapy. This journey, both personal and professional, has been a testament to the power of understanding, empathy, and connection in fostering stronger bonds.

Understanding the Imago Concept

Imago Relationship Therapy, developed by Harville Hendrix, Ph.D., and Helen LaKelly Hunt, Ph.D., is based on a simple yet profound idea: our intimate relationships mirror the needs, fears, and experiences of our childhood. The term ‘Imago,’ Latin for ‘image,’ refers to the subconscious image of familiar love we carry with us, shaped by early interactions with caregivers. This image often guides us unconsciously in choosing our partners.

Personal Journey with Imago

My experience with Imago started several years ago when I realized that the approach enriched my professional skills and illuminated my personal path. Like many, I discovered parts of my ‘Imago’ in my husband, leading us to a deeper understanding of each other’s worlds. Our communication improved significantly, fostering a relationship filled with more empathy and less conflict. It was amazing to share such a magical experience learning more about my spouse’s inner world.

Couples’ Transformations

What’s truly remarkable is watching couples experience their own transformations. One couple, struggling with repetitive arguments, learned through Imago to see beyond the surface-level issues. They uncovered deep-seated vulnerabilities, leading to a newfound appreciation, compassion, and for each other.

Another couple, on the brink of separation, found hope in Imago workshops. Getting the Love You Want offered a reconnecting healing weekend beginning a new journey toward a deeper sense of security in their partnership. They learned to communicate their needs and fears without judgment or defensiveness. This safe space for dialogue allowed them to rebuild their trust and intimacy.

Core Principles of Imago

  1. Safe Communication: Imago emphasizes respectful and empathetic dialogue. Couples learn to express their feelings and needs without blame or criticism, creating a safe environment for both partners.
  2. Understanding Childhood Influences: By exploring how our past shapes our present, couples gain insights into their behaviors and reactions. This understanding fosters compassion and reduces conflict.
  3. Healing and Growth: Imago therapy is not just about resolving conflicts; it’s about growth and healing. Couples often find that as they work through their issues, they develop stronger, more fulfilling relationships. The benefits flow onto their children and the important others we all have in our lives.
  4. Empathy and Validation: Learning to validate and empathize with each other’s experiences is a cornerstone of Imago. This process deepens emotional connections and fosters a supportive partnership. Being seen, heard, and valued is priceless.

Why Choose Imago Therapy?

Couples choose Imago because it offers more than a quick fix. It’s a journey towards a deeper, more meaningful connection. It’s suited for all stages of a relationship, whether you’re newly in love, navigating rough waters, or simply seeking to deepen your bond.

How important is it for you to be seen and supported in meaningful ways? With Imago Therapy you and your partner will know the real, loving you.
How important is it for you to be seen and supported in meaningful ways? With Imago Therapy you and your partner will know the real, loving you.

Final Thoughts

In my career, I’ve witnessed the transformative power of Imago Relationship Therapy firsthand. It’s a tool not just for resolving conflicts, but for building a foundation of understanding and empathy that can weather any storm. The rewards are immeasurable for couples willing to embark on this journey – a relationship based on true understanding, respect, and love.

Remember, the path to a fulfilling relationship is not always easy, but with the right tools and guidance, it’s certainly possible. If you’re interested in exploring Imago Relationship Therapy and coaching, feel free to reach out. Let’s embark on this transformative journey together. Both Chris my husband and I offer Imago Relational Coaching in person or online.


So Are You Getting the Love You Want?

Probably not. Harville Hendrix discovered the secret to what goes wrong in our partnerships and how to heal.

It’s not you or your partner. You and your mate are simply repeating patterns of pain that began way before you met.

No wonder you feel stuck.

Having the same fight repeatedly. Yearning to feel heard and seen and connected in your relationship at a heart-centered level. It’s often the same for your partner too.

So what’s really going on?

Imago tells you why you are trapped in negativity and how to find a way out. With hope, intimacy, and heartfelt connection.

Keen to know more?

Here’s a YouTube animation summarising Harville Hendrix and his wife Helen LaKelly-Hunt in their New York Times Bestseller Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples. Thanks to @Ragwise – Read And Grow Wise. There are subtitles as the narrator has a thick accent.

A six-minute introduction to Imago Relationship Therapy and how it can help you and your partner move beyond conflict and restore connection.

Woman wonder mother- Dame Valerie Adams -Sports legend

Oh, I was so inspired by Dame Valerie’s story and I am sure you will be too. Watching her life portrayed on the screen “More than Gold.” It really was.

I was in tears of connection at least four times. Poignant, powerful, and awesome. Her mother would be proud. Many of us who watch will resonate with her journey – loss, divorce, despair, devotion, mother guilt, birth, and trauma. Winning and losing. Performance pressure.

So let your heart be touched in this beautiful moving tale of 5 Olympic games and see a world-class athlete battle and become her personal best.

Dame Valerie Adams – loving mother, wife, friend and shotput legend of Aotearoa NZ.

Grateful for 2023 -Share it here …

Hello, lovely relationship wonders! Chris and I wish to welcome your entrance into 2023 with a special dialogue gift. The gratitude dialogue is a sheet of inspiration for you to share with your partner or friend, or yourself. Learn the art of couples’ communication. Offering joy and connection.

Turn your world around with Imago Relationship Free Gratitude sheet for 2023 Photo by Adam Winger on Unsplash
Turn your world around with the Imago Relationship Free Gratitude sheet for 2023 Photo by Adam Winger on Unsplash

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