Last Chance to Learn Life Skills and Save!

The Super Early bird can’t last, it ends this week. Don’t miss your opportunity to experience Getting the Love You Want in Sydney Nov 16/17. This is Imago Relationship’s premier couples retreat.

Crafted by relationship healers Helen Lakelly- Hunt and husband Harville Hendrix from their hard won knowledge. Your will learn how to communicate clearly, kindly on the big and little stuff of day to day living in connection.

Imagine feeling the spark reignited, yes you know the one, when you first met and couldn’t get enough of each other! Somehow you got lost on the way, busy-ness, children, and work pressures may have led to a sense of loneliness, even regret.

Hope beckons. With two days of excitement rediscovering each other.

Fall in love all over again.

This retreat provides you with practical real world skills. Say goodbye to old stuck patterns, feeling alone and sad. Say hello to yourself and your partner.

How will your children feel, seeing their Mum and Dad touching, caring, and talking not just stuck fighting? I’d guess a sense of safety and security. Their adults have got this. How amazing.

Hurry limited spaces. Please call us Philipa on 0434 559 011. Email me at philipathornton@gmail.com

You don’t want to miss this relationship recharge.

Sending Love and Light,

Philipa

Deep Brain Reprocessing (DBR): The New EMDR?

Over the past few decades, Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) has become a gold standard in trauma therapy, helping countless individuals heal from distressing experiences. Its effectiveness in addressing PTSD, anxiety, and other trauma-related disorders has made it a cornerstone in many therapists’ toolkits. As a person and clinician who works with many clients impacted by these challenging issues, I am always on the lookout to add to my therapy swag. An EMDR friend introduced me to the latest wellbeing healing approach – Deep Brain Reprocessing (DBR). DBR is emerging as a potential advancement in the field of trauma therapy, and it’s worth exploring whether DBR is the next evolution of EMDR.

Understanding EMDR’s Foundations

Before delving into DBR, it’s essential to understand what makes EMDR so effective as a trauma processing therapy. Developed by Francine Shapiro PhD in the late 1980s, EMDR facilitates the processing of traumatic memories through a structured eight-phase protocol. The most well-known aspect is bilateral stimulation (often in eye movements, sounds, or tapping), which is believed to help desensitize and reprocess disturbing memories. It is working to settle cortisol-soaked immune systems down and into a calmer healing state.

EMDR’s effectiveness lies in its ability to link traumatic memories with more adaptive thoughts and beliefs, ultimately reducing the emotional charge associated with the trauma. Many studies have shown that EMDR can accelerate the brain’s natural healing process, offering profound relief from long-held trauma in a relatively short period of time.

The Emergence of Deep Brain Reprocessing (DBR)

Deep Brain Reprocessing, developed by Dr. Frank Corrigan, builds on some of the fundamental principles of EMDR but takes a more integrative, brain-centred approach.

While EMDR primarily focuses on reprocessing memories tied to trauma, DBR goes deeper into the brain’s subconscious layers. The goal of DBR is to access and work with deeply embedded, often non-verbal memories and emotional responses stored in the brain stem and limbic system.

DBR focuses on reorienting brain structures that have become maladaptive due to trauma. In particular, it aims to help patients reconnect to their core self, free from overwhelm of fragmented parts of the psyche. Having a parts therapy like Resource Therapy is essential also. This process is particularly relevant for individuals who experience dissociation, complex PTSD, or trauma from early childhood, where preverbal and deeply ingrained responses are harder to access and process through traditional therapeutic methods.

The Role of the Brain in Trauma: The Shock Comes First

Trauma responses are not just emotional or cognitive; they are fundamentally brain-based. Before a person becomes consciously aware of a feeling or thought, the brain registers the shock of a traumatic event. This shock activates survival mechanisms deep within the brain, particularly in the brain stem and limbic system, long before any conscious processing occurs. This means that trauma is experienced initially as a biological response, hardwired for survival, which often leads to fight, flight, freeze, or fawn reactions. The brain’s immediate response to threat is so rapid that it bypasses rational thinking and emotional awareness.

DBR taps directly into these deep, automatic brain reactions by targeting the very structures where the initial shock is stored. By accessing these brain regions, DBR allows the brain to reorient itself from its survival-based responses to more adaptive, integrated ways of functioning. This is especially crucial for trauma survivors, and those with attachment wounds as the brain’s rapid, unconscious reactions often become maladaptive over time, leading to symptoms such as hypervigilance, dissociation, and emotional numbing.

DBR vs. EMDR: Key Differences

While both EMDR and DBR aim to help individuals process and heal from traumatic experiences, there are some notable differences:

  1. Depth of Processing: EMDR often works with trauma that can be explicitly recalled and verbally processed. DBR, however, targets much deeper, non-verbal levels of the brain where more primitive and early memories are stored, potentially offering a more profound reprocessing for individuals with complex trauma histories.
  2. Neurobiological Focus: DBR pays particular attention to how trauma affects brain structures such as the brain stem and limbic system. This emphasis on brain reorientation differs from EMDR’s focus on desensitising traumatic memories.
  3. Application to Complex Trauma: DBR may be more effective in treating individuals with dissociative disorders or early developmental trauma, as it aims to integrate fragmented parts of the psyche more thoroughly than EMDR alone.

Is DBR the New EMDR?

While it may be too early to declare DBR the “new EMDR,” it certainly shows promise as a complementary or even more profound tool for trauma therapy. Many therapists are incorporating DBR into their practice, particularly when working with clients who have not fully responded to EMDR or who present with complex, deeply rooted trauma.

For clinicians, DBR offers an exciting frontier in trauma treatment, one that delves deeper into the brain’s healing capacities. Contemporary neuroscientific research is encouraging, Corrigan, et al, 2023. For clients, it provides hope—particularly for those who have long struggled with the effects of early or complex trauma.

Ultimately, both EMDR and DBR offer powerful tools for trauma recovery, and the choice between them depends on the individual needs of the client. DBR, however, may well represent the next leap forward in understanding and healing the brain’s inbuilt response to trauma.

Having trained in DBR, I have witnessed as a therapist the firsthand benefits for my clients. Being an explorer, I had the wonderful opportunity to experience working with the founder Frank Corrigan in a seminar in Melbourne. Over Zoom, I was in front of the class with Frank online. Incredibly, the shock and body tension of being in a car accident several years ago was released from my body in 30 minutes or so. Sold! My jaw and neck tension since that session has evaporated. Yay, huge relief, cheers all round indeed.

As research and clinical experiences grow, it will be fascinating to see how DBR continues to develop and whether it will take its place alongside or even surpass EMDR in the therapeutic landscape. For now, both remain invaluable modalities, each with its strengths in helping individuals reclaim their lives from the effects of trauma.

Are you DBR curious? Please reach out and book a session and experience for yourself the shifts. Imagine going from pain to gain in this powerful, ground-breaking approach. Amazing. Perhaps you have already heard of DBR or had some work, love to hear it, please drop a comment in the box below. Sharing is caring!

Sending Love and light,

Philipa

References

Corrigan, F. M., Hull, A. M., & Turner, R. (2023). A randomized controlled trial of Deep Brain Reorienting: A neuroscientifically guided treatment for post-traumatic stress disorder. European Journal of Psychotraumatology, 14(2), 2240691. https://doi.org/10.1080/20008198.2023.2240691

Exploring Sex, Love & Goop – Imago Lens: Increasing Intimacy

As couples navigate the ebb and flow of relationships, sexual intimacy often becomes an area of disconnection and frustration. For many, this is less about physical compatibility and more about the emotional and psychological barriers that prevent deeper connection. As we know in Imago the romantic love stage of relationship inevitable draws to a close and we enter the power struggle.

Gwyneth Paltrow’s Netflix series, Sex, Love & Goop, provides a refreshing approach to addressing these issues, making it a valuable resource for couples seeking to revitalize their sex lives.

From an Imago Therapy perspective, this series resonates deeply because it’s not just about sex—it’s about emotional healing, understanding, and connecting with your partner at a more profound level. Let’s explore how Sex, Love & Goop aligns with the principles of Imago Therapy and why it’s worth watching if you’re looking to enhance intimacy in your relationship.

Understanding Sexual Intimacy as a Path to Healing

Imago Therapy teaches us that relationships are a place for healing childhood hurts and unmet needs. Often, conflicts in a relationship—particularly around sex—are not really about the present moment but are rooted in deeper, unconscious wounds from the past. Sex, Love & Goop echoes this by showing how unresolved emotions and unspoken needs can affect sexual intimacy.

In the series, couples work through their emotional barriers, learning how past experiences influence their present-day sexual relationships. This mirrors Imago’s core belief that by understanding your partner’s wounds—and how your behaviour might trigger them—you can create a more empathetic, healing space. The series encourages couples to view intimacy as a journey of mutual healing, where vulnerability and communication are key.

The Power of Dialogue in Building Connection

One of the pillars of Imago Therapy is the Imago Dialogue, a structured conversation that helps couples communicate in a way that fosters understanding, validation, and empathy. Sex, Love & Goop highlights the importance of open communication around sexual desires and emotional needs, which is essential for creating a satisfying sexual connection.

The couples in the series are guided through discussions that go beyond the surface, encouraging them to share their deepest fears, desires, and insecurities. This process of sharing and truly hearing each other is at the heart of Imago work. Couples who watch the show will likely feel inspired to start their own dialogues about intimacy, which can bring them closer emotionally and physically.

Reconnecting Through Safety and Vulnerability

Imago Therapy emphasizes the importance of creating safety in relationships, particularly when it comes to vulnerability. In Sex, Love & Goop, couples explore how fear, shame, or past trauma might be preventing them from experiencing deeper intimacy. The series teaches that sexual satisfaction is closely linked to emotional safety—when partners feel safe with each other, they can be more vulnerable, and that vulnerability leads to greater intimacy.

This mirrors the Imago belief that healing comes from being vulnerable with your partner and knowing they will respond with empathy and love. The show encourages couples to see their relationship as a safe space for exploration, both sexually and emotionally. This is a powerful lesson for any couple, as it reinforces that intimacy is not just about physical pleasure—it’s about emotional closeness.

Exercises to Strengthen the Connection

One of the most practical aspects of Sex, Love & Goop is the inclusion of exercises that couples can try at home. These exercises, like guided touch and body mapping, are designed to foster connection, communication, and trust. From an Imago perspective, these exercises can be seen as tools for creating attunement between partners.

In Imago, we focus on helping couples become more attuned to each other’s emotional and physical needs. The series offers couples the opportunity to practice this attunement through exercises that deepen their understanding of each other’s bodies and boundaries. Whether you’ve been together for years or are just starting out, these practices encourage a mindset of curiosity and mutual discovery, which is essential for long-term sexual satisfaction.

Take the Step Toward Greater Intimacy

If you and your partner are struggling with intimacy or looking for ways to deepen your connection, Sex, Love & Goop offers a compassionate and enlightening look at what it takes to build a satisfying sex life. From an Imago Therapy perspective, this series provides valuable insights into how unresolved emotional wounds and poor communication can impact sexual intimacy—and how healing these wounds can bring you closer.

For those ready to take their intimacy journey even further, my friend Sophie Slade, an Imago Master therapist, is offering a transformative live workshop in Sydney Nov 2024. Sophie, along with her partner, runs this workshop and openly shares their own story of rediscovering their sexual selves as a mature, loving couple. Through their journey, they have found a new, exciting way to connect both emotionally and physically, and they invite other couples to do the same.

This workshop is perfect for couples who are ready to break through barriers to intimacy, reignite their passion, and deepen their emotional connection.

You’ll learn how to create the safety and vulnerability necessary for authentic sexual expression, guided by two people who have walked this path themselves. Sophie’s warmth, wisdom, and expertise make this an unmissable opportunity for any couple looking to take their relationship to the next level.

Don’t miss this chance to experience the profound changes that come with reconnecting to your partner—and yourselves—in a way you may never have thought possible.

Secure your spot now, and let Sophie and her partner guide you toward a more passionate, fulfilling, and intimate relationship.

Click the link here for Increasing Intimacy Weekend Program with Sophie and David. Please say Hi!

Dealing with Infidelity: Healing – Whats Helpful, or Harmful.

Infidelity is a topic that often evokes strong emotions and raises many questions about trust, loyalty, and love in relationships. Being interviewed recently by Sydney Morning Herald journalist Frances Howe about a high-profile case—David Grohl’s affair—brought these issues into sharp focus. While celebrity affairs capture headlines, infidelity is something many couples, whether in the spotlight or not, might face.

So, what do you do when you’re faced with betrayal in your relationship? How do you heal and move forward? Infidelity doesn’t have to mean the end of a relationship, but it does require careful navigation, open communication, and an understanding of why it happened.

The Emotional Toll

The first thing to acknowledge is the emotional devastation that comes with discovering an affair. Infidelity shakes the foundation of trust, often leading to feelings of betrayal, anger, confusion, and sadness. For the betrayed partner, it can feel like their world has turned upside down, making it difficult to imagine ever trusting their partner again.

The unfaithful partner may also experience a range of emotions, including guilt, shame, and regret. Both partners are likely to feel uncertain about the future of the relationship.

Why Infidelity Happens

Understanding why infidelity occurs can be complex. While every situation is unique, common reasons for cheating include unmet emotional needs, a lack of intimacy, or personal dissatisfaction in the relationship. Sometimes, external stressors like work pressures, midlife crises, or a desire for novelty can play a role.

It’s important to recognize that infidelity is often a symptom of deeper issues in the relationship. When couples seek to rebuild after an affair, uncovering these underlying factors can be key to moving forward. However, infidelity is not always about dissatisfaction with the relationship itself—it can also be about individual struggles or emotional conflicts within the person who cheated.

Steps to Rebuilding Trust

Rebuilding trust after an affair is challenging, but not impossible. For couples willing to do the work, it’s essential to have honest conversations and seek professional help if needed. Therapy can offer a safe space to explore emotions, understand what went wrong, and develop strategies for healing.

  1. Open Communication: Both partners must be willing to engage in open, non-judgmental conversations about what happened. Avoiding blame and focusing on understanding each other’s feelings is key.
  2. Commitment to Healing: The unfaithful partner must be willing to take responsibility for their actions and demonstrate a commitment to earning back trust. This often includes complete transparency going forward.
  3. Forgiveness and Understanding: Healing requires forgiveness from the betrayed partner, though this takes time. It’s important to process the hurt before offering forgiveness.

Moving Forward

The decision to stay or leave a relationship after infidelity is deeply personal. For some, the affair signals the end, while for others, it opens the door to rebuilding a stronger, more honest connection. Either way, healing takes time and a commitment to personal growth.

Infidelity, while painful, doesn’t have to define your relationship’s future. With open communication, professional support, and a willingness to explore deeper issues, many couples find a path to healing—sometimes emerging stronger than before.

If you or someone you know is struggling with the aftermath of infidelity, seeking professional help can make all the difference. Working with a qualified therapist can provide the tools and emotional support needed to navigate this challenging experience. Don’t go through it alone—call us today and take the first step toward healing and recovery.

Now or Never for 2024

Hello, beautiful committed couples – super excited to be sharing Imago Relationship’s premier program for partnerships. Your last chance to save as the early bird rate ends this Friday 6th Sept and I don’t want you to miss out.

Open to all pairings, LGBTQIA + supportive as the tools are so practical. Jump in now and gift you and your loved one this unique and special opportunity. We joke (however, it’s true) that this two-day program is the equivalent of 10-12 therapy sessions. Like who has the time, anyone? Imagine fast-tracking your connection within a weekend. Plus, the bonus is both of you each get the workshop manual to use moving forward.

Email me today or call me.

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0434 559 011
Weekdays 9am - 5pm Australian Eastern Standard Time (UTC +10)

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