Author: Philipa Thornton

Harnessing Our Brain’s Power: DBR, The Secret to Success?

In the ever-evolving field of mental health, innovative therapies are revolutionising how we address stress, trauma and emotional distress. One such ground-breaking method is Deep Brain Reorienting (DBR), a therapy that taps into the brain’s foundational processes to facilitate profound healing.

As a Level 2 trained DBR therapist and psychologist, Philipa Thornton is uniquely equipped to guide individuals on their journey toward emotional freedom and resilience. This blog explores how DBR works and why it’s a transformative option for those seeking meaningful change.

What is Deep Brain Reorienting?

Deep Brain Reorienting, developed by Dr. Frank Corrigan, is a neurobiologically informed approach that focuses on the brainstem—the most primitive part of our brain. Unlike traditional therapies that address cognitive or behavioural symptoms, DBR engages with the body’s innate healing mechanisms to resolve trauma at its core.

This therapy identifies and releases deeply stored physical and emotional imprints, often stemming from overwhelming experiences that bypassed conscious processing. These unresolved imprints can manifest as persistent anxiety, emotional disconnection, relationship issues, or chronic patterns of stress.

How Does DBR Work?

DBR involves a structured yet gentle process of reconnecting with the body’s shock sensations linked to traumatic events or moments of grave concern. Through careful guidance, and therapist attunement individuals access the brainstem’s initial response to trauma, allowing the nervous system to reorganise and reprocess these experiences. This promotes emotional release and long-term balance.

For instance, if someone carries unresolved tension from an early life event, DBR helps access and integrate these implicit memories. By working at this foundational level, the therapy fosters emotional healing that is both deep and lasting.

Who Can Benefit from DBR?

Deep Brain Reorienting offers hope for individuals who:

  • Struggle with PTSD, emotional dysregulation, or chronic fear.
  • Experience anxiety or depression tied to unresolved past events.
  • Have attachment wounds originating in early relationships.
  • Feel stuck despite trying other therapeutic approaches.

As a therapy that connects directly with the brain’s autonomic responses, DBR is particularly effective for addressing pre-verbal trauma that may be inaccessible through conventional talk therapy.

The Science Behind DBR

DBR’s efficacy lies in its grounding in neuroscience. Trauma often disrupts the brain’s natural processes, leaving individuals in a state of hyperarousal or emotional shutdown (van der Kolk, 2015). DBR targets the brain stem to restore this disrupted balance, facilitating the integration of traumatic memories and enhancing overall well-being.

What to Expect in a DBR Session

In a safe and supportive environment, clients are guided to connect with their body’s sensations tied to past trauma. This somatic focus allows for the gentle release of deeply held emotional patterns. Memory reconsolidation occurs within the session. As a certified DBR practitioner, Philipa Thornton ensures that sessions are paced to prioritise safety and emotional comfort, fostering trust throughout the healing process and offering a new perspective.

Why Choose Deep Brain Reorienting with Philipa Thornton?

Philipa Thornton brings a wealth of expertise as a psychologist and Level 2 trained DBR therapist. Her compassionate approach ensures that each client receives personalised care tailored to their unique needs. DBR’s focus on the brain’s most fundamental layers enables transformative healing beyond surface-level change.

Whether you’re navigating the aftermath of trauma, seeking relief from chronic emotional pain, or looking to break free from old patterns, Philipa’s experience and dedication make her an exceptional guide on your journey toward emotional well-being.

Begin Your Healing Journey Today

Deep Brain Reorienting offers a path to profound and lasting change. Under the expert caring guidance of Philipa Thornton, you can access the brain’s innate capacity for healing and experience greater emotional freedom.

Contact us to learn more or schedule a consultation. Take the first step toward a brighter, more balanced future.

References:

  • van der Kolk, B. (2015). The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma. Penguin Books.
  • Corrigan, F. (2020). Deep Brain Reorienting: A New Model for Understanding and Treating Trauma.
  • Corrigan, F. M., & Christie-Sands, J. (2020). An innate brainstem self-other system involving orienting, affective responding, and polyvalent relational seeking: Some clinical implications for a “Deep Brain Reorienting” trauma psychotherapy approach. Medical Hypotheses, 136, 109502.

Is It Too Late for Your Relationship? An Imago Psychologist Shares.

Have you ever wondered, if is it too late to save my relationship?

Whether you’re standing on the brink of separation, feeling emotionally disconnected, or simply stuck in patterns that no longer serve you, this question can haunt even the most loving couples. But here’s the good news: as long as two people are willing to show up, explore, and reconnect, it is never too late.

Relationships, much like life itself, are filled with seasons.

Some seasons are bursting with joy and connection, while others feel distant or fraught with challenge.

What if I told you that these challenging moments could become opportunities? By using proven methods like Imago Relationship Coaching and tools like the Last Resort Technique, you and your partner can rediscover the love that brought you together in the first place.

Let’s dive into why it’s never too late to revive a relationship and how these powerful approaches offer hope, healing, and a fresh perspective.

Why Do We Feel It Might Be Too Late?

First, let’s acknowledge the emotional exhaustion that often leads to this question. Whether it’s unresolved arguments, infidelity, or years of unspoken resentment, couples can reach a point where giving up feels easier than holding on.

There may even be a sense of defeat: “We’ve tried everything. Why bother?”

But relationships don’t falter because of a lack of love. More often, it’s because the love has become obscured beneath layers of misunderstanding, complaint, criticism,  hurt, and unhealed wounds.

This is where a fresh approach can shift everything.

Imago Coaching: From Conflict to Connection

Developed by Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt, Imago Relationship Therapy has transformed relationships around the globe. It works on the understanding that:

  • Conflict in a relationship is not a sign of incompatibility; it’s an invitation to grow.
  • The root of many disagreements stems from unmet childhood needs or unconscious emotional triggers.
  • Lost parts that have adapted to protect us.

Imago offers couples the tools to:

  1. Communicate effectively – Instead of pointing fingers or falling into old patterns, Imago introduces the structured Intentional Dialogue technique. This allows partners to truly hear each other—sometimes for the first time in years. You’ll learn how to speak with vulnerability and listen with empathy, creating a safe space for honest connection.
  2. Understand your partner’s world – By uncovering the deeper reasons behind your reactions, you gain clarity on why conflicts happen and how to respond with compassion rather than defensiveness.
  3. Reconnect emotionally – When couples are stuck in resentment, affection and intimacy often fall by the wayside. Imago focuses on rebuilding emotional safety so partners can open their hearts again.

The beauty of Imago Therapy is its emphasis on hope.

It doesn’t matter how far apart you feel or how long you’ve struggled. If you are both willing to step into the process, healing is possible.

The Last Resort Technique: When One Partner Has Checked Out

Sometimes, one person feels done with the relationship while the other wants to fight for it. This can be a deeply painful place to be. Enter the Last Resort Technique.

Popularised in relationship coaching circles, Michelle Weiner Davis’s Last Resort Technique is a series of steps designed for situations where one partner has emotionally (or physically) checked out.

It focuses on personal growth, self-responsibility, and changing the dynamic—often sparking a shift in the relationship itself.

Here’s how it works:

  1. Stop pursuing or begging – Desperation or pushing only drives a disconnected partner further away. Instead, focus on yourself and your own well-being.
  2. Get back to being your best self – By rediscovering your joy, confidence, and individuality, you not only improve your own life but also create a more attractive and inspiring energy.
  3. Offer positive interactions – Small, kind gestures and moments of genuine connection can help shift the energy in the relationship.

This technique is about taking radical responsibility for your side of the dynamic. While it doesn’t guarantee results, it has reignited countless relationships where hope seemed lost.

A New Perspective: The Relationship as a Mirror

Both Imago Therapy and the Last Resort Technique operate on a shared understanding: relationships are mirrors. Your partner reflects back parts of yourself that need attention, healing, and growth. This perspective is powerful because it moves away from blame and instead focuses on opportunity.

What if your current struggles are not the end, but rather an invitation? What if the relationship you want is still waiting on the other side of healing?

It’s Never Too Late to Choose Love

There is no timeline for change. Whether you’ve been together for two years or two decades, the opportunity to reconnect remains. Even couples who felt utterly lost have rediscovered joy and intimacy by committing to the process.

Here’s what I often tell my clients:

It’s not about who you were yesterday; it’s about who you choose to be today.

If you’re struggling in your relationship, I invite you to consider Imago Couples Therapy or the Last Resort Technique. These approaches are not about placing blame or finding quick fixes. Instead, they offer practical tools and insights to help you rebuild understanding, trust, and love.

Take the First Step

If you’re feeling disconnected or uncertain about your relationship’s future, remember—it’s not too late. Even the smallest shift in perspective can create ripples of change.

Reach out to a qualified Imago Couples Therapist or explore resources like the Last Resort Technique. Invest in yourself, your partner, and the love you share. Because at the end of the day, love is always worth fighting for.

Are you ready to rediscover connection and joy in your relationship? Let’s start the journey together. Contact us today to learn more about Imago Couples Therapy and how it can help you and your partner reconnect in ways you never thought possible.

Your relationship deserves it. You deserve it.

Philipa Thornton,

Your Imago Relationship Psychologist and Coach.

The Power of Connection: How Imago Relationship Therapy Helps

Good communication is the heartbeat of any healthy relationship. Yet, many couples find themselves stuck in cycles of misunderstanding, conflict, or emotional disconnection, sadly.

This is where Imago Relationship Therapy (IRT) can be a game changer.

By teaching practical, science-backed tools, IRT helps couples build understanding, empathy, and a deeper connection with one another.

Let’s explore how IRT transforms communication and offer a few tips you can apply right now in your relationship—no therapy session required!

How Imago Relationship Therapy Works

At its core, IRT is about fostering empathy and connection by understanding your partner’s inner world. The therapy was developed by Dr. Harville Hendrix and Dr. Helen LaKelly Hunt, who discovered through their partnership many of our conflicts in relationships stem from unmet childhood needs. This fits it with Attachment research. IRT helps couples move from blame and reactivity to a place of mutual understanding and care.

One of the hallmark tools of IRT is the Imago Dialogue—a structured conversation that promotes active listening, validation, and empathy. It empowers partners to truly hear each other, free from judgment, and communicate with intention and respect.

Why Communication Matters

Couples who communicate effectively are better equipped to navigate life’s challenges, resolve conflicts, and sustain emotional intimacy.

IRT improves communication by:

  • Teaching you to listen actively without interrupting.
  • Helping you validate your partner’s feelings, even if you don’t fully agree.
  • Encouraging empathy by asking, “What’s it like to be you?”

By addressing the root causes of misunderstandings, couples can foster a safe and loving environment where both partners feel seen and valued.

Tips to Use Imago Power Tools in Your Partnership

Even without attending therapy, you can integrate some of IRT’s powerful techniques into your relationship today.

  1. The Power of Mirroring
    When your partner speaks, repeat back what you hear before responding. For example, “What I hear you saying is…” This simple act ensures your partner feels understood and can clear up any miscommunication.
  2. Practice Validation
    After mirroring, acknowledge your partner’s perspective with a phrase like, “It makes sense that you feel that way.” Validation doesn’t mean agreeing—it’s about showing empathy and acknowledgment that is how your mate sees things.
  3. Schedule Safe Conversations
    Set aside a regular time each week to discuss your feelings, needs, and concerns. Create a space where both of you can share openly without fear of criticism. We call this the zero-negativity opportunity in Imago.
  4. Turn Complaints into Requests
    Instead of saying, “You never help around the house,” try reframing with a positive request: “It would mean so much to me if you could help with the dishes tonight.” This shifts the tone from blame to collaboration. Our partners usually want to help us and this allows them to know what you are wanting. We have to use words and if they are kind we are more likely to listen and take them on board.

Stay Connected with Love in the Real World

Building a strong, connected relationship takes work, but the rewards are immense. If you’re ready to deepen your bond and learn more tools to improve your relationship, couples workshop opportunities in person and online, sign up for our newsletter, Love in the Real World. Each month, we’ll send you practical tips, insights, and resources to nurture your partnership.

Sign up here for Love in the Real World Newsletter today

Because love, when nurtured with care and intention, is one of life’s greatest joys.

Warmest wishes,

Philipa and Chris xoxo

Your Attachment Style and the Success of Your Relationship: An Imago Therapy Perspective

The relationships we experienced in early life profoundly shape how we connect with others in adulthood. As an Imago Relationship Therapist, I often see attachment styles as the foundation for understanding relational dynamics. Imago therapy beautifully integrates attachment theory, helping couples transform their connection by uncovering how childhood experiences influence their patterns of love.

Have you ever found yourself in a relationship where your partner felt emotionally unavailable? Or perhaps you’ve felt drained by a partner’s constant emotional demands? These patterns can leave you questioning yourself, wondering, “Why can’t I make relationships work?”

The answer lies in attachment theory, one of the most impactful frameworks in relational psychology. Imago therapy builds on this by exploring how unconscious dynamics from childhood play out in adult romantic relationships. By understanding and healing these patterns, you can create the secure, loving relationship you long for.

The Attachment Urge and Your Relationship Dynamics

In Imago therapy, we view romantic relationships as opportunities for healing childhood wounds. When your attachment system is activated, it’s often because your partner unknowingly mirrors unmet needs or painful memories from your early caregivers.

Ask yourself:

  • Were your caregivers emotionally available, inconsistent, or neglectful?
  • Who did you turn to when you were upset as a child?
  • Did you feel seen, heard, and valued—or left to fend for yourself?

These early experiences form your attachment style, shaping how you relate to romantic partners. There are four main adult attachment patterns, and understanding yours is key to shifting your relationship dynamics.

Attachment Styles in Imago Therapy

Attachment theory identifies secure and insecure attachment styles, each influencing how we navigate love.

  1. Secure Attachment:
    If your caregivers were responsive and attuned to your needs, you likely developed a secure attachment style. Secure individuals approach relationships with confidence, openness, and a belief that their partner will be there for them. Imago therapy supports couples in cultivating this security, even if it wasn’t part of their early experience.
  2. Anxious Attachment:
    Inconsistent caregiving often leads to anxious attachment, where individuals feel unsure about their partner’s availability. They may seek constant reassurance or cling to their partner, fearing abandonment. Imago therapy helps anxious individuals soothe these fears by fostering emotional safety and connection.
  3. Avoidant Attachment:
    Neglectful caregiving can lead to avoidant attachment, where individuals prize independence and struggle with vulnerability. They often keep their partners at arm’s length. Imago therapy gently challenges avoidant partners to open up, creating a safe space for emotional intimacy.
  4. Disorganized Attachment:
    Trauma, chaos, or abuse in childhood often leads to disorganized attachment. These individuals fear closeness but also crave it, resulting in a push-pull dynamic in relationships. Through the Imago dialogue process, couples can unpack these patterns and rebuild trust.

Healing Attachment Wounds Through Imago Therapy

The good news? Attachment styles are not fixed. With awareness and intentionality, you can shift toward secure attachment. Imago therapy offers a structured, compassionate approach to this transformation.

Here’s how:

  • Awareness: By identifying your attachment style and recognising how it plays out in your relationship, you gain clarity about your triggers and patterns.
  • Conscious Choices: Imago therapy encourages you to choose behaviours that build connection, even when old fears arise.
  • Reparenting: Through loving, responsive interactions, you and your partner can “reparent” each other, healing wounds from the past.
  • Safety: The Imago dialogue process fosters emotional safety, allowing both partners to feel seen, heard, and valued.

Choosing Connection Over Fear

Unhealthy relationship patterns often feel familiar because they echo our early experiences. Imago therapy invites couples to move beyond these unconscious reenactments, creating a relationship that feels both exciting and secure.

For those seeking love, choosing a partner with a secure attachment style—or working to develop security together—can profoundly impact your relational satisfaction. Healing doesn’t mean never feeling triggered; it means having the tools and support to navigate those triggers together.

Recommended Resources for Deeper Connection

If you’re curious about attachment and how it influences your relationship, consider these essential reads:

  • Getting the Love You Want by Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt is the cornerstone book of Imago therapy, offering insights and exercises to transform your relationship.
  • Hold Me Tight by Dr. Sue Johnson: Learn how to use attachment principles to strengthen emotional bonds.
  • Attached by Amir Levine & Rachel Heller: A primer on attachment styles and how they play out in adult relationships. Excellent for those on the dating apps.
  • Wired for Love by Stan Tatkin: A neurobiological approach to building secure, lasting relationships.

Your attachment style doesn’t define your destiny—it’s a starting point for growth. With awareness, effort, and the right support, you can rewrite your love story and create a relationship where you and your partner thrive.

Remember, your past may shape you, but it doesn’t have to limit you. In the safe container of an Imago relationship, healing and connection are always possible.

Love to learn about your adventures. Especially if you have attended a Getting the Love You Want workshop. Great to know what happened for you both.

By Philipa Thornton, Psychologist & Advanced Imago Relationship Therapist

Supporting Relationships with Imago Principles: A Path to Connection

Relationships are a beautiful dance between two individuals, each bringing their unique experiences, values, and perspectives. But sometimes, navigating this dance can feel like a challenge, especially when misunderstandings, conflicts, or emotional disconnection arise. That’s where Imago Relationship Therapy steps in—a powerful approach designed to deepen connection, heal past wounds, and foster a more harmonious partnership.

At Marriage Works, we embrace the transformative principles of Imago Therapy to support couples on their journey toward thriving, loving relationships. Understanding and applying these principles can make all the difference if you’re facing a crossroads or want to deepen your bond.

What Is Imago Therapy?

Imago Therapy, developed by Dr. Harville Hendrix and Dr. Helen LaKelly Hunt, is built on the idea that we unconsciously seek partners who reflect our primary caregivers’ qualities (both positive and challenging). These dynamics often lead to familiar patterns in adult relationships. The good news? Imago Therapy offers tools to turn these patterns into opportunities for growth and connection.

Core Imago Principles to Enhance Your Relationship

  1. Conscious Communication
    Communication is the lifeblood of any relationship. Imago principles emphasize intentional dialogue, a structured approach where partners take turns speaking and truly listening. This process fosters understanding, reduces defensiveness, and ensures both partners feel heard and valued.

How to Apply It:
Practice the “Intentional Imago Dialogue.” Start with mirroring your partner’s words, validate their feelings, and empathize with their experience. This creates a safe space for vulnerability and connection.

  1. Understanding Triggers
    In relationships, conflicts often stem from unresolved childhood wounds. Imago Therapy encourages couples to explore these triggers and recognise them as opportunities to heal and grow. By understanding the roots of your partner’s reactions, you can respond with compassion rather than defensiveness.

How to Apply It:
When tension arises, pause and reflect. Ask yourself, “What is this really about for me or my partner?” Discussing these deeper emotions can transform conflict into closeness. We can use either the Behaviour Change Request Dialogue or the Parent-Child dialogue.

  1. Co-Creating a Vision
    Relationships thrive when couples work together to build a shared vision. Imago Therapy inspires partners to move beyond power struggles and create a “conscious relationship” where mutual respect and growth are prioritised.

How to Apply It:
Sit down with your partner and discuss your dreams, goals, and what you both want to create in your relationship. Write it down and revisit it regularly as a couple. The Vision dialogue promotes hope and connection.

  1. Reigniting Romance
    Over time, the spark in relationships can dim, but Imago Therapy reminds us that romance is not a one-time event—it’s a practice. By intentionally investing in connection, couples can rediscover joy and intimacy.

How to Apply It:
Schedule regular “date nights” and surprise your partner with thoughtful gestures. Small acts of love nurture the bond and keep the romance alive. What are your caring behaviours, your love languages and most importantly what are your partners? Knowing these can reignite the romance.

Why Imago Principles Work

What makes Imago Therapy so effective is its focus on collaboration rather than blame. It helps couples view challenges as opportunities to heal and grow together, creating a foundation of mutual trust and understanding.

Take the Next Step

At Marriage Works, we offer Imago workshops and couples counselling tailored to help you apply these principles in your relationship. Our “Getting the Love You Want” workshops provide a safe and supportive environment for couples to explore their patterns, deepen their connection, and rediscover the love they share.

No matter where you are in your relationship journey, Imago principles can support you in building a partnership filled with joy, understanding, and love. Take the first step today—your relationship is worth it!

If you’re ready to transform your relationship, contact us at Marriage Works or sign up for our next couples workshop with the newsletter. Let’s work together to help you get the love you want.

With Love in the Real World,

Philipa & Chris

Dive into Deeper Connection: Increasing Intimacy & Sexual Satisfaction.

Are you longing to feel closer to your partner? Whether you’re facing challenges in your relationship or simply want to enhance the bond you share, deepening your emotional connection can make all the difference. Sophie Slade and her partner David, experts in relationship therapy, are hosting their transformative Increasing Intimacy Program in Sydney on November 16-17, and you won’t want to miss it!

Why Focus on Intimacy?

Intimacy is more than just physical closeness. It’s about feeling seen, heard, and understood by your partner. Over time, life’s challenges—busy schedules, stress, and even miscommunication—can create distance between partners. That’s where Sophie’s unique approach, grounded in Imago Relationship Therapy, comes in. It’s designed to help you reconnect and truly experience the joy of a fulfilling relationship.

What is Imago Therapy?

Imago Therapy is a powerful framework for couples that focuses on healing and growth through understanding. It teaches couples how to communicate more effectively by identifying unconscious triggers and working through them together. Developed by Dr. Harville Hendrix and Dr. Helen LaKelly Hunt, Imago Therapy emphasizes the idea that conflict, when approached correctly, is an opportunity for healing.

During Sophie and David’s workshop, you’ll learn techniques rooted in Imago to:

  • Understand the deeper reasons behind your conflicts.
  • Foster greater empathy and compassion.
  • Rebuild trust and emotional safety.
  • Rekindle passion and joy in your relationship.

Why This Workshop is Perfect for You

If you’ve been seeking ways to improve your relationship, this workshop offers practical, immediate tools that you can start using during the event itself. Sophie Slade is a Master Imago therapist, bringing years of experience to this highly engaging and interactive two-day event. What makes this workshop truly special is that Sophie and David lead the way as a couple—they’ve experienced the joys and challenges of intimacy firsthand and share their insights with warmth and honesty. Their personal and professional journeys reflect a deep understanding of what it takes to cultivate lasting love.

The Key Benefits You’ll Gain

  • Effective Communication Skills: Learn how to express your needs in ways that invite your partner into understanding rather than defensiveness.
  • Deeper Emotional Connection: Discover how to become more present with your partner, improving both emotional and physical intimacy.
  • A Fresh Perspective on Conflict: See conflict as a way to grow closer and resolve long-standing issues with compassion.
  • Practical Tools for Daily Life: You’ll leave with exercises you can easily incorporate into your relationship to sustain long-term happiness and connection.

The Time for Transformation is Now!

The Increasing Intimacy Program is not just for couples in crisis—it’s for anyone who wants to deepen their bond and create a lasting, loving partnership. Whether you’ve been together for a few years or a few decades, this workshop will reignite the connection that first brought you together. Imagine walking away from this weekend with new insights, a renewed sense of love, and practical ways to keep that connection alive.

Secure Your Spot Today!

Don’t wait! Space is limited, and this intimate event offers a unique opportunity to work with Sophie Slade, an Imago Master therapist, alongside her partner David. This workshop promises a safe, supportive environment where you and your partner can rediscover the joy of a thriving relationship.

Join us in Sydney on November 16-17 Crows Nest, and take the next step toward lasting intimacy and happiness. Click here – Register to secure your place in this life-changing event!

Let’s build a stronger, more connected future together.

Last Chance to Learn Life Skills and Save!

The Super Early bird can’t last, it ends this week. Don’t miss your opportunity to experience Getting the Love You Want in Sydney Nov 16/17. This is Imago Relationship’s premier couples retreat.

Crafted by relationship healers Helen Lakelly- Hunt and husband Harville Hendrix from their hard won knowledge. Your will learn how to communicate clearly, kindly on the big and little stuff of day to day living in connection.

Imagine feeling the spark reignited, yes you know the one, when you first met and couldn’t get enough of each other! Somehow you got lost on the way, busy-ness, children, and work pressures may have led to a sense of loneliness, even regret.

Hope beckons. With two days of excitement rediscovering each other.

Fall in love all over again.

This retreat provides you with practical real world skills. Say goodbye to old stuck patterns, feeling alone and sad. Say hello to yourself and your partner.

How will your children feel, seeing their Mum and Dad touching, caring, and talking not just stuck fighting? I’d guess a sense of safety and security. Their adults have got this. How amazing.

Hurry limited spaces. Please call us Philipa on 0434 559 011. Email me at philipathornton@gmail.com

You don’t want to miss this relationship recharge.

Sending Love and Light,

Philipa

Deep Brain Reprocessing (DBR): The New EMDR?

Over the past few decades, Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) has become a gold standard in trauma therapy, helping countless individuals heal from distressing experiences. Its effectiveness in addressing PTSD, anxiety, and other trauma-related disorders has made it a cornerstone in many therapists’ toolkits. As a person and clinician who works with many clients impacted by these challenging issues, I am always on the lookout to add to my therapy swag. An EMDR friend introduced me to the latest wellbeing healing approach – Deep Brain Reprocessing (DBR). DBR is emerging as a potential advancement in the field of trauma therapy, and it’s worth exploring whether DBR is the next evolution of EMDR.

Understanding EMDR’s Foundations

Before delving into DBR, it’s essential to understand what makes EMDR so effective as a trauma processing therapy. Developed by Francine Shapiro PhD in the late 1980s, EMDR facilitates the processing of traumatic memories through a structured eight-phase protocol. The most well-known aspect is bilateral stimulation (often in eye movements, sounds, or tapping), which is believed to help desensitize and reprocess disturbing memories. It is working to settle cortisol-soaked immune systems down and into a calmer healing state.

EMDR’s effectiveness lies in its ability to link traumatic memories with more adaptive thoughts and beliefs, ultimately reducing the emotional charge associated with the trauma. Many studies have shown that EMDR can accelerate the brain’s natural healing process, offering profound relief from long-held trauma in a relatively short period of time.

The Emergence of Deep Brain Reprocessing (DBR)

Deep Brain Reprocessing, developed by Dr. Frank Corrigan, builds on some of the fundamental principles of EMDR but takes a more integrative, brain-centred approach.

While EMDR primarily focuses on reprocessing memories tied to trauma, DBR goes deeper into the brain’s subconscious layers. The goal of DBR is to access and work with deeply embedded, often non-verbal memories and emotional responses stored in the brain stem and limbic system.

DBR focuses on reorienting brain structures that have become maladaptive due to trauma. In particular, it aims to help patients reconnect to their core self, free from overwhelm of fragmented parts of the psyche. Having a parts therapy like Resource Therapy is essential also. This process is particularly relevant for individuals who experience dissociation, complex PTSD, or trauma from early childhood, where preverbal and deeply ingrained responses are harder to access and process through traditional therapeutic methods.

The Role of the Brain in Trauma: The Shock Comes First

Trauma responses are not just emotional or cognitive; they are fundamentally brain-based. Before a person becomes consciously aware of a feeling or thought, the brain registers the shock of a traumatic event. This shock activates survival mechanisms deep within the brain, particularly in the brain stem and limbic system, long before any conscious processing occurs. This means that trauma is experienced initially as a biological response, hardwired for survival, which often leads to fight, flight, freeze, or fawn reactions. The brain’s immediate response to threat is so rapid that it bypasses rational thinking and emotional awareness.

DBR taps directly into these deep, automatic brain reactions by targeting the very structures where the initial shock is stored. By accessing these brain regions, DBR allows the brain to reorient itself from its survival-based responses to more adaptive, integrated ways of functioning. This is especially crucial for trauma survivors, and those with attachment wounds as the brain’s rapid, unconscious reactions often become maladaptive over time, leading to symptoms such as hypervigilance, dissociation, and emotional numbing.

DBR vs. EMDR: Key Differences

While both EMDR and DBR aim to help individuals process and heal from traumatic experiences, there are some notable differences:

  1. Depth of Processing: EMDR often works with trauma that can be explicitly recalled and verbally processed. DBR, however, targets much deeper, non-verbal levels of the brain where more primitive and early memories are stored, potentially offering a more profound reprocessing for individuals with complex trauma histories.
  2. Neurobiological Focus: DBR pays particular attention to how trauma affects brain structures such as the brain stem and limbic system. This emphasis on brain reorientation differs from EMDR’s focus on desensitising traumatic memories.
  3. Application to Complex Trauma: DBR may be more effective in treating individuals with dissociative disorders or early developmental trauma, as it aims to integrate fragmented parts of the psyche more thoroughly than EMDR alone.

Is DBR the New EMDR?

While it may be too early to declare DBR the “new EMDR,” it certainly shows promise as a complementary or even more profound tool for trauma therapy. Many therapists are incorporating DBR into their practice, particularly when working with clients who have not fully responded to EMDR or who present with complex, deeply rooted trauma.

For clinicians, DBR offers an exciting frontier in trauma treatment, one that delves deeper into the brain’s healing capacities. Contemporary neuroscientific research is encouraging, Corrigan, et al, 2023. For clients, it provides hope—particularly for those who have long struggled with the effects of early or complex trauma.

Ultimately, both EMDR and DBR offer powerful tools for trauma recovery, and the choice between them depends on the individual needs of the client. DBR, however, may well represent the next leap forward in understanding and healing the brain’s inbuilt response to trauma.

Having trained in DBR, I have witnessed as a therapist the firsthand benefits for my clients. Being an explorer, I had the wonderful opportunity to experience working with the founder Frank Corrigan in a seminar in Melbourne. Over Zoom, I was in front of the class with Frank online. Incredibly, the shock and body tension of being in a car accident several years ago was released from my body in 30 minutes or so. Sold! My jaw and neck tension since that session has evaporated. Yay, huge relief, cheers all round indeed.

As research and clinical experiences grow, it will be fascinating to see how DBR continues to develop and whether it will take its place alongside or even surpass EMDR in the therapeutic landscape. For now, both remain invaluable modalities, each with its strengths in helping individuals reclaim their lives from the effects of trauma.

Are you DBR curious? Please reach out and book a session and experience for yourself the shifts. Imagine going from pain to gain in this powerful, ground-breaking approach. Amazing. Perhaps you have already heard of DBR or had some work, love to hear it, please drop a comment in the box below. Sharing is caring!

Sending Love and light,

Philipa

References

Corrigan, F. M., Hull, A. M., & Turner, R. (2023). A randomized controlled trial of Deep Brain Reorienting: A neuroscientifically guided treatment for post-traumatic stress disorder. European Journal of Psychotraumatology, 14(2), 2240691. https://doi.org/10.1080/20008198.2023.2240691

Exploring Sex, Love & Goop – Imago Lens: Increasing Intimacy

As couples navigate the ebb and flow of relationships, sexual intimacy often becomes an area of disconnection and frustration. For many, this is less about physical compatibility and more about the emotional and psychological barriers that prevent deeper connection. As we know in Imago the romantic love stage of relationship inevitable draws to a close and we enter the power struggle.

Gwyneth Paltrow’s Netflix series, Sex, Love & Goop, provides a refreshing approach to addressing these issues, making it a valuable resource for couples seeking to revitalize their sex lives.

From an Imago Therapy perspective, this series resonates deeply because it’s not just about sex—it’s about emotional healing, understanding, and connecting with your partner at a more profound level. Let’s explore how Sex, Love & Goop aligns with the principles of Imago Therapy and why it’s worth watching if you’re looking to enhance intimacy in your relationship.

Understanding Sexual Intimacy as a Path to Healing

Imago Therapy teaches us that relationships are a place for healing childhood hurts and unmet needs. Often, conflicts in a relationship—particularly around sex—are not really about the present moment but are rooted in deeper, unconscious wounds from the past. Sex, Love & Goop echoes this by showing how unresolved emotions and unspoken needs can affect sexual intimacy.

In the series, couples work through their emotional barriers, learning how past experiences influence their present-day sexual relationships. This mirrors Imago’s core belief that by understanding your partner’s wounds—and how your behaviour might trigger them—you can create a more empathetic, healing space. The series encourages couples to view intimacy as a journey of mutual healing, where vulnerability and communication are key.

The Power of Dialogue in Building Connection

One of the pillars of Imago Therapy is the Imago Dialogue, a structured conversation that helps couples communicate in a way that fosters understanding, validation, and empathy. Sex, Love & Goop highlights the importance of open communication around sexual desires and emotional needs, which is essential for creating a satisfying sexual connection.

The couples in the series are guided through discussions that go beyond the surface, encouraging them to share their deepest fears, desires, and insecurities. This process of sharing and truly hearing each other is at the heart of Imago work. Couples who watch the show will likely feel inspired to start their own dialogues about intimacy, which can bring them closer emotionally and physically.

Reconnecting Through Safety and Vulnerability

Imago Therapy emphasizes the importance of creating safety in relationships, particularly when it comes to vulnerability. In Sex, Love & Goop, couples explore how fear, shame, or past trauma might be preventing them from experiencing deeper intimacy. The series teaches that sexual satisfaction is closely linked to emotional safety—when partners feel safe with each other, they can be more vulnerable, and that vulnerability leads to greater intimacy.

This mirrors the Imago belief that healing comes from being vulnerable with your partner and knowing they will respond with empathy and love. The show encourages couples to see their relationship as a safe space for exploration, both sexually and emotionally. This is a powerful lesson for any couple, as it reinforces that intimacy is not just about physical pleasure—it’s about emotional closeness.

Exercises to Strengthen the Connection

One of the most practical aspects of Sex, Love & Goop is the inclusion of exercises that couples can try at home. These exercises, like guided touch and body mapping, are designed to foster connection, communication, and trust. From an Imago perspective, these exercises can be seen as tools for creating attunement between partners.

In Imago, we focus on helping couples become more attuned to each other’s emotional and physical needs. The series offers couples the opportunity to practice this attunement through exercises that deepen their understanding of each other’s bodies and boundaries. Whether you’ve been together for years or are just starting out, these practices encourage a mindset of curiosity and mutual discovery, which is essential for long-term sexual satisfaction.

Take the Step Toward Greater Intimacy

If you and your partner are struggling with intimacy or looking for ways to deepen your connection, Sex, Love & Goop offers a compassionate and enlightening look at what it takes to build a satisfying sex life. From an Imago Therapy perspective, this series provides valuable insights into how unresolved emotional wounds and poor communication can impact sexual intimacy—and how healing these wounds can bring you closer.

For those ready to take their intimacy journey even further, my friend Sophie Slade, an Imago Master therapist, is offering a transformative live workshop in Sydney Nov 2024. Sophie, along with her partner, runs this workshop and openly shares their own story of rediscovering their sexual selves as a mature, loving couple. Through their journey, they have found a new, exciting way to connect both emotionally and physically, and they invite other couples to do the same.

This workshop is perfect for couples who are ready to break through barriers to intimacy, reignite their passion, and deepen their emotional connection.

You’ll learn how to create the safety and vulnerability necessary for authentic sexual expression, guided by two people who have walked this path themselves. Sophie’s warmth, wisdom, and expertise make this an unmissable opportunity for any couple looking to take their relationship to the next level.

Don’t miss this chance to experience the profound changes that come with reconnecting to your partner—and yourselves—in a way you may never have thought possible.

Secure your spot now, and let Sophie and her partner guide you toward a more passionate, fulfilling, and intimate relationship.

Click the link here for Increasing Intimacy Weekend Program with Sophie and David. Please say Hi!

Dealing with Infidelity: Healing – Whats Helpful, or Harmful.

Infidelity is a topic that often evokes strong emotions and raises many questions about trust, loyalty, and love in relationships. Being interviewed recently by Sydney Morning Herald journalist Frances Howe about a high-profile case—David Grohl’s affair—brought these issues into sharp focus. While celebrity affairs capture headlines, infidelity is something many couples, whether in the spotlight or not, might face.

So, what do you do when you’re faced with betrayal in your relationship? How do you heal and move forward? Infidelity doesn’t have to mean the end of a relationship, but it does require careful navigation, open communication, and an understanding of why it happened.

The Emotional Toll

The first thing to acknowledge is the emotional devastation that comes with discovering an affair. Infidelity shakes the foundation of trust, often leading to feelings of betrayal, anger, confusion, and sadness. For the betrayed partner, it can feel like their world has turned upside down, making it difficult to imagine ever trusting their partner again.

The unfaithful partner may also experience a range of emotions, including guilt, shame, and regret. Both partners are likely to feel uncertain about the future of the relationship.

Why Infidelity Happens

Understanding why infidelity occurs can be complex. While every situation is unique, common reasons for cheating include unmet emotional needs, a lack of intimacy, or personal dissatisfaction in the relationship. Sometimes, external stressors like work pressures, midlife crises, or a desire for novelty can play a role.

It’s important to recognize that infidelity is often a symptom of deeper issues in the relationship. When couples seek to rebuild after an affair, uncovering these underlying factors can be key to moving forward. However, infidelity is not always about dissatisfaction with the relationship itself—it can also be about individual struggles or emotional conflicts within the person who cheated.

Steps to Rebuilding Trust

Rebuilding trust after an affair is challenging, but not impossible. For couples willing to do the work, it’s essential to have honest conversations and seek professional help if needed. Therapy can offer a safe space to explore emotions, understand what went wrong, and develop strategies for healing.

  1. Open Communication: Both partners must be willing to engage in open, non-judgmental conversations about what happened. Avoiding blame and focusing on understanding each other’s feelings is key.
  2. Commitment to Healing: The unfaithful partner must be willing to take responsibility for their actions and demonstrate a commitment to earning back trust. This often includes complete transparency going forward.
  3. Forgiveness and Understanding: Healing requires forgiveness from the betrayed partner, though this takes time. It’s important to process the hurt before offering forgiveness.

Moving Forward

The decision to stay or leave a relationship after infidelity is deeply personal. For some, the affair signals the end, while for others, it opens the door to rebuilding a stronger, more honest connection. Either way, healing takes time and a commitment to personal growth.

Infidelity, while painful, doesn’t have to define your relationship’s future. With open communication, professional support, and a willingness to explore deeper issues, many couples find a path to healing—sometimes emerging stronger than before.

If you or someone you know is struggling with the aftermath of infidelity, seeking professional help can make all the difference. Working with a qualified therapist can provide the tools and emotional support needed to navigate this challenging experience. Don’t go through it alone—call us today and take the first step toward healing and recovery.